was this an ok thing to do?

Question

So my gf tells me she needs "some time alone to solve some problems" (not related to me). But yet today it was clear to me that she wanted me back. I also learned that she went out to this guys house to drink, without even telling me (I learned from a friend). I mean I really love her and trust her completely (and atleast she shows that she loves me). But I am confused because she has plans saturday night to go drinking again, and she never told me about yesterday.

A few minutes ago I sent her a txt that basically said "I didnt want to make a big deal out of it, I think its fine that she goes out with "guy" friends because I have that much trust in her, but also said that I hope when she says she loves me that it is authentic. (Cuz I love her and dont want her to say that when its not true! and hurt me)

Was it the right idea for me to send that txt!! or should I jus have let it go on like this?

Answer 1

It was not a good idea to send her that text for two reasons:

1) Being that she obviously doesn't feel like she needs your approval or permission to go out drinking with this other guy behind your back; she has already done it once and plans on doing it again. By sending her the text saying "it is ok and you trust her" and that you hope her love is authentic comes across more like sounding like you don't trust and the text is meant to guilt her into not cheating on you.

2. it was not a good idea as the friend likely gave you the information about her in confidence and you have now betrayed that confidence and the friend is not as likely to share information with you about her in the future.

Having to ask other people how your girlfriend is or what she is up to is a very bad sign. Whether or not you want to let it go on like this is up to you. I would not give the future or your relationship a good prognosis...you have been going out for 4 months and instead of wanting to get closer, she wants space. She may care for you but she is distancing herself from you and withholding information.

You are either too clingy and needy and she wants space to breathe or she has her eye on someone else but is not quite ready to move on, but more likely a combination of the two.

Answer 2

I think you should have left it alone because she did not tell you anything about her drinking with another person you "heard" this from a 3rd party. was the friend that told you this maybe trying to start some drama? How do you even know that she was going drinking with a guy this weekend? sending a txt in my opinion was jumping the gun. you should have waited to see what else happened next. oh yeah fyi........"sometime alone" always means time AWAY FROM YOU!!!!!!!! because if you two were really in love you would work through things as a couple