My husband and I have been married for almost 2 years and we aren't planning on having kids. He's already in his later thirties and I'm in my late twenties and I've never wanted children. Do people look strangely at couples without children? Wherever we go, everybody has kids and we are like the odd ones out. What is everybody's thoughts on this?
2007-02-22 06:06:00 · 29 answers · asked by Rachel 7 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
I am 50 years old. My wife and I had absolutely no doubts that we did not want children. We were together for 25 years, 20 of them married. She died last year. What happened to us happens to everyone who doesn't have kids. As friends begin to have children, that becomes the only topic of interest in their lives. They become consumed with their child (especially the first). It permeates all their conversation. Childless people are not thrilled with spending an evening hearing a detailed history of Little Junior's bowel movements for the past week. Turns out the only people interested in such topics are other people with children, so with this common interest, they tend to flock together like geese. Since nothing not involving children is of any interest to them any more, those of us without kids are eliminated from their social circles. That in itself is no disaster since now you will gravitate to others who share similiar interests. By the way, if you don't have any kids people will automatically assume that either partner is physically unable to have children, so some will treat you with unspoken pity.
Most importantly, you go ahead and do what you feel is right for you and don't worry about what friends or relatives think or say. Above all, don't be pressured into making any decisions by "well-meaning but misguided" relatives.
2007-02-22 06:33:13 · answer #1 · answered by fg 2 · 5⤊ 0⤋
I think everyone is entitled to their own opinions. You can love someone without feeling the need to procreate! A close family friend has been married for over 10 years and never planned on having children. She's the only child in her family and her parents aren't upset that they'll never be grandchildren either. From what I see, the couple treats their dog like a child, so perhaps that's why they dont' care to have more. But they're a very loving and happy couple, and if people don't understand that, then too bad! I've seen couples get married, have kids, and divorce in less than 3 years, which I think is much worse than a couple not planning on having children.
2007-02-22 07:14:42 · answer #2 · answered by keonli 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have kids. But I had them by choice. I think a lot of people have them on accident, or just beacuse they are married and its the typical thing to do.
In particular I think of a girl at work who has a son and she will totally admit she isnt the motherly type, never cooks or does projects or such. The boy is fed and clothed and all. And they do love him, they just don't do any kid stuff. The whole situation is a little wierd to me.
If children aren't for you it is a noble decision to not have them. The world is overpopulated anyway. You may change your mind later and that is fine too.
2007-02-22 06:14:46 · answer #3 · answered by G's Random Thoughts 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Good for you. I think it's ridiculous when I see couples walking around with 6 children hanging out of them. Why would you want 6 kids? I mean most people can't even afford to feed, clothe, educate and care for their children properly. I'm not saying that's due to bad parenting, I'm saying it's bad planning. And even though it's not all over the news we are seriously overpopulating the planet. I won't be having children, I'm not cut out for parenting either and I'll be the first person to admit it. Stick to your guns and forget about the rest. You'll be on holiday or relaxing in the bath while other people your age are scolding their kids for not tidying their room or for breaking the window playing football. Kids are great but not all of us should have them.
2007-02-22 06:20:14 · answer #4 · answered by Diet_smartie 4 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you need to go to different places? I/we are older than you/yours, and only just starting on the 1st, and -- I barely know anybody with children. Oddly enough.
I'm more inclined to look at couples _with_ children suspiciously; look how many people there are here asking "Oh, no. How do I tell my husband I'm pregnant again?" and similar.
And if you do change your mind, dealing with the BS about being 'fulfilled as a woman' via throwing up and fending off obstetrical butchery will put you so off the baby-gaga crowd you'll start to feel weird about having a baby, so -- well, anyway -- _don't_ worry about it.
2007-02-22 07:04:22 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are feeling that you need support from others in your same situation, you should join a group called "No Kidding". They have chapters in many cities.
No Kidding is for child free adults of all ages, interests, and situations. Most are child free by choice. Some are childless by circumstances (like infertility, but they are rare). Many are coupled, some are single.
What they all have in common is dealing with the social stigma of being child free. I found that it really helps just to be around people who understand.
2007-02-22 06:14:24 · answer #6 · answered by Lisa A 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
If the two of you are happy, that's all that matters. I made the conscious choice, years ago, not to have kids, although I do have two stepchildren, both now grown.
I've known people who have had kids only because they didn't use protection, or planning, and I've actually heard some of those parents say they hate their own kids!
I didn't want to be like that, as I value my privacy, quiet, and solitude, so I decided not to have kids.
Best wishes to you and your spouse! Take the money you would've spent on the kids, and see the world with it!
2007-02-22 06:18:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 0⤋
Some people just are not interested in having children I don't see anything wrong with that. You and you're husband can do what you want when you want. You don't have to cousel you're plans because you can't get a babysitter. I wouldn't worry about what other people think if you are happy. You can have the pleasure of other peoples children and when you're tired you get to give them back. I can't give mine to anybody when I am tired.
2007-02-22 06:13:43 · answer #8 · answered by Shorty 2 · 5⤊ 0⤋
To be honest, I don't think anything about it. They're just two more people out in public.
I guess if I put some thought into it I might think 1 of four things:
1. They don't have children yet.
2. They don't want to have children
3. They can't have children
4. They have children and have gotten a sitter-lucky them.
2007-02-22 06:09:53 · answer #9 · answered by Heather Y 7 · 6⤊ 0⤋
I would look long and hard before I had children in this day and time..You are no longer allowed to raise your child,or punish your child ( I didn't sat abuse ) but the government says what you can and cant do now. So lets let the little kiddies have there way and run over us and every one else because were scared of the government.....Then when they grow up , they can kill there families and friends or go to school and do it there...OH YEAH---were raising a bunch of winners....Nope, don't think I'd want kids anymore and anyone that does just loves trouble...
2007-02-22 06:16:13 · answer #10 · answered by Dixie 6 · 6⤊ 1⤋