don't know how to approach this problem of mine. I've been with my girlfriend for about 8 1/2 months, and I still can't seem to relax around her. It is very strange. Most of the time, I don't know how to make conversation with her (I am like this with almost everyone except for my family, by the way). I feel socially inept and insecure. I have basically no friends and I'm very introveted, so I don't have much of a life outside of my full time job and college courses. The thing about my gf is that a couple of weeks ago she said she loved me, and I could tell she meant it. She has a four year old daughter. I notice that my gf is more introverted and laughs less around me than others (although we do laugh at times). I just want her to be happy. I do treat her like a queen. I take her places, do things with her and her daughter, and we don't fight. ADVICE? How can I break out of my shell?
2007-02-22 05:50:59 · 8 answers · asked by mspidey2007 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
she may be introverted like you. calm with you instead of nervous. enjoy the laughter when its comes between you and her and with other people. you dont have to be a comedian.
be happy. peace
2007-02-22 05:56:06 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Interesting question. The reason you feel insecure around her is because, inside, you feel that she is better than you and/or you don't deserve her. Before you can open up to her, you need to shed that feeling. You need to understand that you deserve her and that she genuinely loves you.
Second, she may not laugh as much around you because you may not be a clown. That's not necessarily a bad thing. Love isn't built on how funny you are. You may not be a funny guy, and that's ok.
But the lack of communication is certainly a BAD thing that needs to be remedied very fast. You can always talk about how your days were. A topic that always ends up in a lot of conversation is planning for the future. Where do you see yourself in 10 years? What about her? That will get you talking for a while.
In order to feel at ease around her, you need to shed the fear that you don't deserve her or that she's better than you. You need to feel secure in yourself first before you can have a successful relationship.
Message me privately if you want more detailed advice.
Good luck.
2007-02-22 13:58:47 · answer #2 · answered by The B Man 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your a great guy, with a self-esteem issue. You go to college and you work full time, and your dating a wonderful woman who has an adorable little girl. I think your life is greater than you think, and that you are luckier than you realize. I am not saying you dont appreciate what you have, but I am saying that its normal to feel the way you do....to an extent. too much of a good thing isnt good at all.... obvoiously if you two have been together for almost 9 months, im sure shes gotten to know what your really like and your social behaviors, or lack thereof. She sounds like shes still with you, she accepts you for who you are, and for that, you should give more of yourself to her. Letting a man around her daughter, is big time trust... its a risk, a chance she is willing to take, because she wants to get THAT close to you..she loves you. Maybe you two should sit down and talk, confess to her what your confessing to us on yahoo.... she will compeltely understand, and try to help you...i am positive you will feel so much better after telling her your real feelings.... your a good guy, and things like this take time....as long as your allowing yourself to try and be social, then dont worry, eventually, you'll get more comfortable around her and things will end up just the way you want them too...woman, (take it from me) tend to talk alot more anyways, we are just more social, genetically...and different people take longer or shorter time spans, to truly feel comfortable and talkative around someone...you just might need some more growing time with her, thats all
Good Luck and keep your head up, all you need to do is try... :)
2007-02-22 13:59:24 · answer #3 · answered by SassyGirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A full time job, college and girlfriend sounds like a life to me. Don't get down on yourself because you aren't the life of the party. Those people can get very annoying. She has stayed with you for over 8 months and says she loves you, so she must be content in the relationship.
Are you having anxiety about anything specific when you are with her? It can help to talk about it, and you might find out she doesn't care about some minor flaw of yours.
2007-02-22 14:02:24 · answer #4 · answered by soelo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first off i think she is more introverted around you because you are that way... try to relax and just go with the flow... maybe go to a funny movie... go to a park... you cant always be this introverted... it cant be healthy... you should find things you both enjoy and do them... you obviously came out of the shell for a bit or you two wouldnt be together...
2007-02-22 14:17:59 · answer #5 · answered by jeans0079 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm you should talk to her and tell her whats bothering you.
you two should have even more fun together, and also her daughter.
I am only 15 years old but my have been through this too and I tried to help her and it worked my mom got married to my step dad and they are happy =)
2007-02-22 13:55:17 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Juss take a brether and try to spend more time with her so you dont get tence talk to her =D
2007-02-22 13:54:38 · answer #7 · answered by Vicky 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try getting intimate
2007-02-22 14:00:32 · answer #8 · answered by kevo m 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋