My family is very close, and yet my brother and his family rarely get gifts for the rest of us for Christmas or even acknowledge birthdays or other holidays, even with cards or phone calls. My mom has told me it hurts her feelings to not hear anything from him on her birthday or Mother's Day. And truthfully, it annoys me too when my child doesn't get presents from their family when we send them gifts for their children. It's not a lack of money on their part; their children get dozens of gifts from them for their birthdays and Christmas.
I've let this go for several years without saying anything, but now it's really starting to get to me. I just think it's so rude, and there's no reason why they do this except that they don't want to bother. If it were you, how would you handle it?
2007-02-22 05:35:28 · 9 answers · asked by ms_annab 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Well, our family has the same problem. We moved recently and now I send birthday cards to everyone and for the younger nieces and nephews I would send cash in their cards, or even order gifts for them through Amazon. My mom gets upset with me and tells me that i should not buy them anything. My response is this: it is not the child's fault that their parent is so thoughtless. We are going to acknowledge them and be the better person; if they decide not to reciprocate then that is them, not us. Usually when you bring something like this up it causes tensions and strife. I would just continue doing what you are doing, or if you think, stop getting them things. Make them stop and think why you are doing it, especially when you were so conscientious in the past on gift giving. To tell you the truth, the times I didn't send or give anything were either not noticed or they weren't bothered enough by it. Be gracious, and tell your mom to cheer up. She obviously has a child that can be counted on to remember her when the other doesn't. Good luck!
2007-02-22 08:07:26 · answer #1 · answered by ESTamez 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe to bring him around you could call him a month or so before Mom's birthday or Mothers Day and ask him to go in on a gift with you for your Mom (get the Money out of him.) see how responds to your request. OR you call him and be forward with him tell him that while you and the rest of the family have always gone out of your way to acknowledge his childrens birthdates and christmas that he needs to acknowledge your kids or your'e done with it. I would be annoyed as well and I'd tell his cheap butt about it. It is hurtful and just wrong....
2007-02-22 05:50:12 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am one of those people that doesn't give gifts or cards. So, I am probably biases on this. First, remember that it is a gift. It should be given without the expectation of getting anything in return. You should just feel happy that you are giving to his children. Now, how would I deal with the situation? Actually, you have three situations. How to deal with him not giving to your mother? How to deal with him not giving to your children? and How to deal with him not giving to you? In regards to your mother, talk to him and suggest that you go in together to get stuff. I always give when the family is buying something. In regards to the children, talk to him and ask if he would prefer if you didn't give to his children. Finally in regards to yourself, either stop giving him gifts or just accept that he isn't going to buy for you.
Point to ponder here. I am the youngest in a large family. My older siblings have always made all the decisions and usually don't listen to the younger siblings opinions. Although I am now 40, I usually do not get involved with any family decisions and I do not take the lead on any gift buying. If your brother has never been taught how to buy a gift he may not know how. Maybe his wife buys for their children and she doesn't feel close enough to your family to buy for you.
2007-02-22 06:24:56 · answer #3 · answered by N B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It might seem mean, but stop sending gifts and cards to them. They may not get the point until the gifts stop pouring in.
2007-02-22 05:39:42 · answer #4 · answered by Shannon L - Gavin's Mommy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it could be more damaging to try to talk sometimes, as the other persons may get offended at being told off or do things out of their comfort zone. But this is best judged by you as none of us know your family well, and can offer only opinions. The opposite may be true, and talking may work.
Perhaps as has been said, try ignoring them altogether this year. And tell your Mom and Dad (thats the harder part, as they will do what parents do, love thier children unconditionally...mostly) to ignore as well, to pointedly but silently drive the point home to your brothers family. If he is smart he should get it.
good luck.
otherwise, call Chuck Norris to roundhouse kick your brothers butt one time...
2007-02-22 05:53:13 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people expect gifts and do not like to give. I would not buys gifts for his family or for him.
2007-02-22 05:47:37 · answer #6 · answered by abadcv 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd stop sending them gifts and would call them when I felt like it.
2007-02-22 05:39:58 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it was me I would stop sending them gifts see what they say then!
2007-02-22 06:10:58 · answer #8 · answered by ShaunaMo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just stop sending them stuff.
2007-02-22 05:42:39 · answer #9 · answered by pisceswoman87 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋