Will a cartridge and headshell and syli fit any tone arm or does ir have to be the same make?

Answer 1

My own personal experience is that most, if not all catrridges have the fixing holes a standard width apart which will match the holes in your headshell.I've used Clearaudio, Goldring, Rega and one with no name on in my SME 3009. You shouldn't have any problems here.
If you want to replace a stylus you have to get the correct one for the cartridge you're using

Answer 2

There are two main types of cartridge mounts. By far the most widely used is half-inch, as can be found on the SME 3009, Rega, Technics SL-1200/1210 half-inch, etc, which the other poster mentioned. Half-inch cartridges are fixed to the headshell with a couple of nuts and bolts. The other type is T4P, which is for plug-in cartridges which you find on some of the Ortofon Nightclub cartridges, for example.

If you're using half-inch mountings, most cartridges will fit most head shells, and most headshells will fit most arms. If you move into more esoteric hi-fi, you will find you need to match the effective mass of a tone arm with the compliance (springiness) of the cartridge's cantilever mount (the cantilever is the little metal rod which sticks out of the front of the underside of the cartridge). For most people, this is irrelevant though.

As the other poster mentioned, styli are very rarely interchangeable across cartridges - you need the right one. You'll find in some cases though that certain manufacturers (like Ortofon and Goldring), will offer two or three styli of increasing quality for one of their cartridge bodies, which makes upgrading nice and easy.

Answer 3

No, they don't have to be the same make.

As long as the mounting points line up and the cable connections are the same, you can mix and match as you wish.