How can I stop myself from running guys off?
i have been in some relationships where i've been used and cheated on and it seems like when i find a good guy i run them off because i accuse them of using me or planning to hurt me like the other guys did......it's making me look crazy i need advice on how to control that because i've met a very nice guy and my actions are running him off i've accused him of lying all the time this may sound bad but i accused him of lying about his grandfather passing away and he called me from out of town to prove that he was really in his hometown it was the worse voicemail becuase i thought he was lying when he's not...most of these problems i have with him is because he's in the military and my friends stereotype him & don't trust him so they cuss him out when they see him and accuse him of things it's really childish i didn't ask them to do that..he thinks that i'm crazy now.i feel really bad and i want to fix it with him....how can i do that?
2007-02-22 05:06:27 · 3 answers · asked by mrs. MJ 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i asked this before but did'nt get a response....please i need advice because i'm tired off running the good guys away.
2007-02-22 05:07:30 · update #1
***************BEST ANSWER HERE***************
Babygirl, here's the deal.
You have trust issues and you must accept that you do.
Remember, accepting the truth is the first step to recovery.
Because you have been cheated on, you have developed a lack of trust in men.
Since everyone's not the same - your guards are up high to prevent a recurring situation.
That's good - if you want to keep good guys away, too.
I suggest - spending more time to understanding these "good" guys more, without your prejudices. Be objective; ask questions/demand answers; check their hobbies; check their values; check if their responsible; etc..
These will get you past your inhibitions. Remember there are 2 concepts that rule the mind: fear and belief.
Tell the guy what I said above about how your guards are up because of the past and you want him to work WITH you because you FEEL that he may be worth it. He'll respect you and forgive you...
One love...................................
2007-02-22 05:14:35 · answer #1 · answered by HottNikkels 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop accusing the nice guys of stuff the bad boys do. It's hard to do but regardless of your past you will have to go into each relationship with a positive attitude. My default is to trust the person right off the bat and go from there. If you start off not trusting, it will most likely get you no where.
2007-02-22 13:11:57 · answer #2 · answered by whatever 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let your guard down a little...being hurt is awful, but never feeling love is worse. My method is trust until you have a reason not to...not the other way around. Good luck
2007-02-22 13:13:34 · answer #3 · answered by blamb! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋