Women sleeping with married men, why?

Question

One of my friends, very close friend she is married but has been seperated from her husband almost 2 years now. While they were married her husband was cheating on her with someone he fell in love with and wanted to leave my friend for. So he end up leaving her for this woman he so called fell in love with.

My friend use to call this girl up and beg for her to stop messing with her husband, and that he needs to come home to her and their 3 kids. We'll it didn't go that way, he never came back.

Now my friend is sleeping with a married man, he has been married to his wife for 25 years. But she says the girl who did it to her is going to hell...how can you be for right and for wrong at the same time? I have said to her its not right and she's playing with fire. She's been messing with this man for 7 months now. And she says his wife is really sweet. She has fallen in love with him and can't let him go, even though she believes he will never be hers.

Answer 1

Your friend is caught up in an ego power struggle. Having been hurt by her husband, she is seeking comfort and assurance from this other man. While she can tell herself that her husband's girl-friend will go to Hell, she doesn't see herself as doing the same thing to another family. Does this married man of 25 years have young children? He sounds much older and could be a sort of father figure to her, which in her case, would not be on the same level as being left with three children. He will not leave his wife, and right now, is enjoying the best of two worlds. Taking advantage of an unhappy woman doesn't make him sound like much of a man. Your friend should get a divorce and look for a more appropriate relationship. Right now, she is only heading for more heartbreak. Best wishes

Answer 2

All the 3 parties are to blame. As a wife, you cannot always be too nice to your hubby. Not all husbands will appreciate what the wife has done for them. Men loves excitement. When a man leaves the family, there must be a reason other than excitement. Mistress happen to comes by at the right time. I pity your friend. Emotionally she is weak and needed someone to comfort her. That's her choice. She has to face the consequences herself. Just make sure you stand by her then. No lecture needed. That is what friend should do isn't it?

Answer 3

She needs to break the Pain Chain!

Often people who have been mistreated turn around and do the same thing so someone else. It seems (without knowingly doing it) they are taking revenge on an innocent because they cannot hurt the person that hurt them. Also, someone who has been victimized tends to justify their actions "why not, it was done to me" or "I am in pain, I can do what I like".

Break the Pain Chain! Think of the Golden Rule. If you would be upset if someone did it to you, then DO NOT DO IT TO SOMEONE ELSE!

PS: Going after a married person is like the worst junk food.
It is empty calories: all the fun and none of the commitment nor support. Affairs almost never turn into healthy relationships because your are seeing someone who is a cheat (just as you are).
It makes your morals fat and lazy. It becomes tougher to have a genuine relationship because your self esteem is shot. "I am a bad person, only bad people would want me".

Answer 4

Falling in love has nothing to do with your marital status. As for your friend blaming the girl who was responsible for her breakup with her husband also is not wrong. The falling in love and confessing the love, all is good if he main point is not forgotten. The marriage has not be broken because of the extra marital affair. Finding the man or the woman you end up loving after you or the man is married, is ok. But the result should be giving yourself happiness, not hurting someone else in the bargain. The wife and children should not suffer. There is always enough room in the heart to accomodate one more person to love. One does not have to eliminate someone to give place to another. Our duties do not have to be neglected. Your friend as you said in your question BELIEVES that he will never be hers... If she is happy with whatever little she gets of her beloved... and does not wish to break this man´s marriage... it is ok... she has a right to give herself that little happiness....

She is calling the same thing wrong in case of her husband and his girlfriend because that relationship ended in her husband forsaking his duties towards his family..

Answer 5

It's sad to say it, but there is nothing you can do to help. Your friend is going to have to learn the hard way. This man will end up screwing her over and then maybe she'll remember the pain that she had been through and will realize that she is causing the same pain for someone else. If you spelling it out to her now doesn't make her see it, then she's just going to have to learn the hard way. She may possibly feel like she is getting "revenge" of some sort. She needs to talk to a therapist or counselor and figure out why she is putting herself and others through this misery.

Answer 6

She has now put herself in the position she never wanted to be in. She should think of how the wife feels. Also she doesn't really want to be with a man that would cheat on his wife after 25 years of marriage, she is right he'll never be hers! She sound like she needs some sort of counseling to help her get over her failed marriage so she can move on.

Answer 7

She probably feels like since it was done to her she can do it to somebody too? Maybe it is the excitement of that "forbidden fruit'
that interest her, which adds to a better sex life between the two of them. They are both wrong but she best keep things together and understand that he more than likely won't leave his wife after 25yrs. Alot of people feel like "hey it is not my committment so that is on them". The difference between the sexes is that 9 out of 10 men will keep their emotions in check. 9 out of 10 women will fall in love with the man.

Answer 8

**********BEST ANSWER HERE*************
Sounds as if she's paying him back - in her own way.
We can't be different that who we are. We can only change who we will become by the choices we make.
She's attached to the stability and convenience that the married man is providing.
He's probably also assisting her financially, too.
She probably understands her role, which makes it easier to deal with.
There are rights/wrongs for everyone, but then again, to each his/her own.
I say, if she's your friend, you have to support her - right or wrong - because that's your friend. You may lose your friend if she feels you are giving her an ultimatum or putting too much pressure on her to leave something she is happy with.
Who knows but her?

Good luck!

Answer 9

Some women sleep with married men because they want the benefits of a boyfriend without the responsibility of relationship.

Answer 10

Your friend needs to stop. Did she put her self in the shoes of the married woman. I mean she's already in those shoes. She needs to quit immediatly. She didnt like her marriage falling apart, so why would she want someone else to feel that way?