For some reason...Atheists?

Question

For some reason, I hardly found any jokes about Atheists.

All I found was that joke about a Christian bear and that joke where the Christian lady had the devil paid for her. Now why is this?

Answer 1

Because atheism is no laughing matter. It's serious, son! Serious!!

Seriously.

Answer 2

This from atheistalliance.org

So Rene Descartes is seated at the bar.
The bartender asks "can I get you a drink?"
Descartes says, "I think not." So now there's no Descartes!

This from christiansunite.com (under "Clean School Jokes")

A young woman teacher with obvious liberal tendencies explains to her class of small children that she is an atheist. She asks her class if they are atheists too. Not really knowing what atheism is but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands explode into the air like fleshy fireworks.
There is, however, one exception. A girl named Lucy has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different.
"Because I'm not an atheist."
Then, asks the teacher, "What are you?"
"I'm a Christian."
The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Lucy why she is a Christian.
"Well, I was brought up knowing and loving Jesus. My mom is a Christian, and my dad is a Christian, so I am a Christian."
The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason," she says loudly. "What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron. What would you be then?"
She paused, and smiled. "Then," says Lucy, "I'd be an atheist."

I guess people have different ideas about what's funny...and clean.

Answer 3

Here's an atheist joke I heard one time. It's pretty lame, but here it is, nonetheless:

An atheist was walking through the woods on a pretty spring day, thinking to himself, "Gee, what a great day evolution has made!" Then, all of the sudden, a bear jumps out at him and acts like it's going to attack him.

"Oh, help me, God!" he says.

A voice comes down from the heavens. "I thought I didn't exist."

"Well, I guess you don't," the atheist replies. "Or I thought you didn't."

He notices the bear growing, snarling at him.

"Okay," the atheist says, desperate for a way out. "If you're really up there, could you at least make the bear a Christian?"

The atheist doesn't hear anything else from God, or the voice, whatever that was coming down from Heaven. But he does notice the bear down on it's knees praying. He heaves a sigh of relief...but then he hears what the bear is praying.

"Dear Lord, bless this food that I am about to eat," prays the bear.

Answer 4

The Islamic Q’uran is NON-Contextual and relies on the Bukhari to paint its backdrops. (Top 2 most ‘holy’ Islamic books). These teachings are prevalent throughout the book.

Judge the following for yourself.

Qur’an 8:60 “Infidels should not think that they can get away from us. Prepare against them whatever arms and weaponry you can muster so that you may terrorize them.”
Bukhari:V4B52N260 “The Prophet said, ‘If a Muslim discards his religion, kill him!’”
Qur’an 5:51 “Believers, take not Jews and Christians for your friends.”
Bukhari [4:52:177]: Allah's Apostle said, "The Hour will not be established until you fight with the Jews, and the stone behind which a Jew will be hiding will say. "O Muslim! There is a Jew hiding behind me, so kill him!"

THOUGH THE ISLAMIC ALLAH WANTS MUSLIMS TO KILL ALL NON-MUSLIMS, MANY MUSLIMS ARE NOT DOING SO AT THIS MOMENT (WITH DISAPPOINTMENT FROM THE FUNDAMENTALIST ISLAMISTS) BECAUSE THEY ARE NOW ENJOYING THEMSELVES, SOME AFRAID OF REPRISALS. DON'T THINK FOR A MOMENT THAT MUSLIMS ARE PEACEFUL. IF THEY SEEM TO BE, THEY ARE ACTUALLY NON-PRACTICING MUSLIMS.

Perhaps you think this is bullshit. But wait. Take a quick glance below of islam’s founder’s behaviour recorded in one of the most authentic Islamic texts ever recorded below and you will not think so again. Remember this, Muhammad personified the teachings of the Q’uran.

MUHAMMED HAS NO MERCY; Sahih Bukhary; and Hanbel.
Bukhary, Volume 1, Book 4, Number 234:

Bukhari, V1B4N234: "A group of people from the Oreyneh and Oqayelh tribes came to the prophet to embrace Islam, the prophet advised them to drink the urine of the camels. Later on when they killed the prophet's shepherd, the prophet seized them, gouged out their eyes, cut their hands and legs, and left them thirsty in the desert to die."

IF MUHAMMAD WAS A MURDERER, A RAPIST, A PEODPHILE, A LIAR, WHAT LESS CAN YOU EXPECT OF HIS FOLLOWERS? MUSLIMS BECOME TERRORISTS BECAUSE THATS WHAT THEY ARE MEANT TO BECOME. BECAUSE THAT IS TRUE ISLAM. WHAT IS TRUE, IS WHAT HAS BEEN WRITTEN, NOT WHAT PEOPLE TELL YOU AND WANT YOU TO BELIEVE.

http://www.bibleprobe.com/muhammad.htm
http://www.prophetofdoom.net

Answer 5

Don't know. I'll have to think of an Atheist joke. Hmmm ....... Why wouldn't the Atheist board the plane to go on his vacation? Because he didn't believe it was real. Sorry, that's the best I could do. No offense meant. I hope the Atheists reading it don't get mad, I love ya. lol

Answer 6

Because Atheists are the ones making up the jokes?

Answer 7

What Joke?

Answer 8

I'm Atheist, but i don't know any jokes. Mr. Bean had a good skit about it in hell.

Answer 9

because weve only had the freedom to exist for a short time...they didnt make jokes before, they just burned us

Answer 10

because it's hard to make a scientific joke


what's the punchline going to be, "then they died and nothing happened"