Now i am very shy and scared of rejection by others. i.e if i see a girl i would like to talk to and get to know but she has a guy around her that i perceve as better looking i will cower away and avoid the situation instead of going after what i want. What can i do besides drink?
2007-02-22 04:24:31 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
work on you self conscience
2007-02-22 04:28:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Social anxiety can cause these feelings in a social situation. Usually people drink when they are nervous, glad that you stopped.
http://www.socialanxietyinstitute.org/ds...
Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/cognitive_b... worked best for me. I suffered from social anxiety for over 15 years. I've tried meds, individual therapy, and group therapy and studied psychology for 10 years, as a profession, but also with the hope to cure myself.
Depending on your comfort level, you could go to a psychologist that practices CBT and specializes in anxiety disorders, seek a group therapy, or create one. Usually those that do attend the group therapy are a bit more high functioning because as you know, it can be difficult to speak in a group.
Another idea is to see if there are any local research studies being conducted that you could participate in.
The program that finally worked the best for me is this one: http://www.socialanxiety.us/findinghelp.... and I was lucky enough to have a structured behavioral group to go along with it. Sometimes the people that actually attend this program come back home and form groups.
Any questions, let me know ... I can't tell you how much this has improved my life!
2007-02-24 04:37:16 · answer #2 · answered by Advice Please 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Christian Answers from Khalil Ahlee:
I'm proud of you if no one else is. I overcame the same problem. When you drink you are under the influence, although you are you, you do things that you wouldn't normally do if you were more alert. You become more bold, which can definitely lead to trouble. Advice: Now that you have cut drinking out of your habit, begin to get to know you, and learn who you are. So what if you 're shy, if that's who you are, than that's who you are. It's actually a turn on for some females when guys are more to themselves instead of drooling over them. So you might get more attention because your shyness might come off as you're too cool to approach a female. That's hot.
2007-02-22 04:32:48 · answer #3 · answered by Khalil 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, it's tough, but you're gonna have to start out with the worst-case scenario. What is the worst thing that can happen? She can reject your advances. Ok, if she does, then try again with someone else. If a woman can't pick up on the fact that a guy is shy and cut him some slack, then I wouldn't want her anyway.
2007-02-22 04:35:50 · answer #4 · answered by Sue S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Firstly, congratulations on the quitting thing. I couldn't possibly imagine how difficult something like that is, but you have my support.
You ever heard that that thing called..... liquid courage? I can bet you almost anything no girl likes a guy who reeks of booze to come to her anyway. Now, if you're having a tough time coming up to girls in bars..... maybe you should be meeting them elsewhere. Perhaps looking deep inside and looking at you own self-worth, and working on your self esteem by involving yourself in positive activities, it could help you working on it slowly. I can't recommend reading any books, but maybe you can ask for good booking on building self esteem.
I seriously suggest you ask yourself, what is it you have to offer to a relationship with a woman.... besides sex. Are you happy in your job? Do you have positive hobbies? how are your relationships with your friends? work on all of those, and you'll have more to contribute when you meet someone you really like.
Also, girls like humor and brains, so read up on your history, trivia, even jokes. I wish you the best of luck, it seems like you have good intentions. Just keep on the path to well being.
Good Luck.
2007-02-22 04:37:03 · answer #5 · answered by grldragon101 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well gj quitting drinking, you should be proud of that. you just need to get the mindset, 'what's the worst that can happen?' cuz you do not know the girl and chances are if you do not make a move you will never see her or the guy around her again, so what is the worst that can happeN?
2007-02-22 04:28:35 · answer #6 · answered by Spearfish 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Life is not end for a girl, so why you fear ? If you get a better job then girl's father will run after you so think yourself . you are just spoil your life with drinks. Please donot behave like a cowered behave like a man with strong personality and great morality
2007-02-22 04:49:34 · answer #7 · answered by heybapi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think of you're basically going to could desire to strengthen out of your worry of human beings... i think of that is something that each physique bargains with now and back, basically the degree of severity stages in human beings... i nevertheless have social rigidity... i think of mine have been given worse in college as i went by using many annoying situations and my psychological well-being collapsed... that is been a tricky highway attempting to construct up my psychological defenses and be a typical member of society back... my social rigidity has gotten so undesirable that that is been problematical for me to maintain a job, basically such as you. being around human beings might get me so traumatic and so paranoid that i might initiate tripping out and lose my ideas. i know what you mean approximately having low self-worth, that frustration and anger that erupts as a result... or it may desire to be any opposite direction around. that is rather a lot to handle, yet i think of the main suitable factor to do is to easily have self assurance that it's going to get greater advantageous with time... basically take each little thing sooner or later at a time, and are conscious of it could be a at an analogous time as in the previous you're on the point of sociability which you may want to be at. it gets greater advantageous. and finally, i think of your sadness will flow away too. mine comes and is going, besides the incontrovertible fact that that is been staying positioned in the meanwhile...
2016-09-29 11:33:17 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know I have that same problem right now dude. I think we should start getting girls while they are at the workplace or somethin. Well-- somewhere when they are alone. If you try to halla at them when they are with another guy they may think you are the jealous type. Always go at them solo too. Or it will look like you are showing off.
2007-02-22 04:32:28 · answer #9 · answered by Sleepy 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to find your confidence...As a women I had the same problem and some how one day it went away...It takes a lot of work but you can do it!!! My answer for you find that confidence you have when you drink and apply to your self when you don't!!!!
2007-02-22 04:29:03 · answer #10 · answered by esmccann2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You werent yourself when you were drinking obviously...Women like men who are confident, dont be afraid to be rejected, go for it with all your might..dont interfere with a woman who is with a guy, than you're asking for trouble. go solo and for the solo ones... trust me you'll make it .....
2007-02-22 04:30:42 · answer #11 · answered by marc r p 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋