anyone had trouble settling their little person at playschool??

Question

My little boy is 3 years old and am having terrible trouble settling him in playschool. The leaders are letting me stay with him until we have got him settled and used to the people but he is very clingy and petrified i am going to leave him. I left him in a different playschool about 6 months ago and when i went to collect him he was very very upset and his personality completely changed he became fretful and nervous and wouldnt let me out of his sight and started to make himself sick if he got worried.Has anyone else ever experienced this and how did they help their little person get over this hurdle?? any answers greatfully accepted

Answer 1

my daughter, now 8 cried every morning from september to december, when left at preschool, i used to have to prise her away from me, and leave her with staff, then suddenly in the january she went in, took her coat of and sat down on the mat and never looked back. She was 2 and a half by the way,
dont make to much of an issue, tell them that u r going to have a cup of tea, make there bed, do shopping etc and then be back, they will settle, only getting upset cos u r upset, i have also worked in nurseries, so have seen this from the other side, and believe me after a few mins they do settle, its all an act

Answer 2

I'm a certified child care provider. I always suggest to parents that we can do half days until their child is used to coming and they can switch off and bring them some in the morning and some in the afternoon. They can add and hour on each day until their child is comfortable with staying. You might try to give him a picture or something special of yours that he can keep with him while he is away. Then when he returns to you he can give it back and you can pass it back to him when he leaves you. Maybe he had a bad experience at the other playschool and that is making him have a hard time adjusting to it. My daughter is three and she attended an in home where she went when she was 3month to 9 months of age. Since she would not stay with any one with out getting all upset and since I have been the only one she had been with since 9 months and she will be attending preschool in August. I asked if she could attend two mornings a week for four hours and at first it was a fight now I have to tell her the night before that tomorrow when she wakes up she will go see Ms Cindy. Every morning when I drop her off I have to tell her that her Aunt will be there to pick her up and she usually has a wonderful day and is ready to come home and play with her friends waiting on her at her house. Good Luck!!

Answer 3

I think you're indulging him too much by staying until he settles down. As heart breaking as it is to leave, that is really the best thing to do in most cases. Typically these kids will settle down soon after the parent is gone. Tell the playschool people to call you if he doesn't settle down in a reasonable amount of time.

The more you indulge him and stay with him, the longer it will take for him to get used to you leaving him.

Answer 4

There are some very good answers here.
I'd be inclined to discuss it with the staff the day before and ensure there will be someone there to interact with him very closely the next day, then talk to him before you go that day, tell him you have an appointment and you will have to go quickly, write down your mobile number on a piece of paper and give it to him for his pocket - that way if he really needs mummy he can ask someone to phone you (that way he feels in control of the situation). I'm guessing and hoping that once hes there and busy and he wont miss you. Praise him when you collect him for being so grown up, maybe get a video out for a treat. Then the next day leave promptly and remind him how good he was and how much fun he had

Answer 5

Once you have found a nursery setting you are happy with ( ask other parents, and read the ofsted report before finally deciding).
The best way to introduce your child to a new environment is to let him stay for 2 hours without you, and then collect him. When you do collect him have a look at him before he see's you ( he will be more upset with you around).
After a weeks induction period you should take him as normal, give him a kiss and cuddle, and tell him you will see him later, wave goodbye and go.
He will get used to this routine, although it will be hard on both of you until then, keep to it, and he will love it.
Good Luck

Answer 6

you have to be cruel to be kind - dont stay with him. Walk out straight away and leave him with the leaders. He will stop crying within minutes. you can always phone them after a set time to make sure he is ok. It is really hard to do but after a while he will understand. It may be that the first playgoup was not right for him. I have 4 boys and my youngest was like your son, the second nursery was much better and he loves going now.

Answer 7

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Answer 8

The best solution is to not force your little guy into playschool. Some kids take to it, some don't. But the very best place for a 3-yr old is with his mommy. Kids don't "need" playschool in order to help them develop into strong, self-sufficient people, but there are a lot of people who will try to convince you otherwise.

Answer 9

I left my daughter in a friends Nursery for 12 months and everyday she cried.I eventually moved her to another Nursery and she settled within 2 days. She was obviously un happy or something was happening at her old one. Have you checked this out ask your child they might give you an idea of why they dont want to be left.

Answer 10

Used to have the same problem!
Don't give in.
He has to go and that is that approach
I must admit, walking out and leaving him i was probably more upset than he was.
He soon realised that it made no difference if he had a tantrum,
Now he skips Merrily into class.