Do your normally invite the Minister who is marrying you to the reception??

Question

I know most people do but
1. He is not my minister- just marrying us.
2. Formal wedding so it's $100 per plate at the reception.
3. The church we are getting married in- kind of "sells" weddings. I was baptized there so I want to get married there. It's a small historical church and we already paid $1,400 for the use of the church which included the minister's fee, the organ player, the runner, candles and parking attendant.

I don't attend this church, I picked it because I love how it looks and I was baptized there and it's in my hometown.

I honestly wasn't even thinking of inviting him until a friend said something to me about it.

He's not someone I know, when you call the church they basically brake up the wedding between ministers unless you do know someone and ask for them.

I have met him once and then we will have 3 precanna meetings with him.

Answer 1

We invited the pastor who married us and his wife. They were unable to attend the reception (I think he was being polite as I was by inviting him) We also invited them to the rehearsal dinner.

I would ask the pastor if they would plan on attending or not, or what their take is on that kind of thing.

Per etiquette standards you do mail an invite to them. Odds are that if you don;t really have a relationship with them, they won't want to come anyway.

Answer 2

You typically invite the minister if he is the minister of the church to which you belong or a friend of the family. Since you do not have a relationship with him, he is basically like a vendor, so you do not have to invite him to attend. But you can invite him if you would like him to stay and bless the food at the reception. Otherwise, you can have a member of your wedding party or guest bless the food at your reception.

Answer 3

This is how it's SUPPOSE to go.

If you are a member of the clegy's congregation he/she and their spouse is offered an invitation to your rehearsal dinner & your wedding reception.

If they are a hired hand, so-to-speak, then no. You don't invite your florist, caterer or photographer.
Now, if you have developed a good friendship during the time you've planned your wedding & you would like them to share the celebration with you, then it is entirely your call. An invitation is always nice. But most clergy don't feel comfortable at a reception if there is extensive alcohol comsumption, they might eat but generally leave shortly thereafter.

If you are especially grateful for the wonderful job he/she did, remember them with a nice gratuity, instead.

Answer 4

Well, this is a tricky question.

I would normally say yes, because after all he is marrying you.

But on the other hand, as you stated, "The church is selling weddings..." So...I wouldn't care if was invited or not, its just a job to him.

Ok, this is how you decide, is the minister someone you know? Is he a friend? Or is he the only one available to marry you that day? If he's not a friend or someone you know, etc, I wouldn't worry with inviting him....

Answer 5

You are supposed to invite him, but he is supposed to decline. Only if he is a close family friend would I expect him to attend the reception. However, since this church will apparently let anyone marry there and you have no relationship with anyone there, I probably wouldn't invite him.

Answer 6

I've been to 100 weddings and have never seen the minister at the wedding reception. Unless he's a close family friend or you have known him since childhood by attending his church for many years, I very much doubt he'd want to spend his time at your wedding. You're not his friend, so why would he want to be at a stranger's wedding?

Answer 7

It's your special day. It's however you want it. I personally would invite him. All of the weddings I have been to the minister took part in the reception. I would put the invite out there well in advance & as him to R.S.V.P. He might not want to come anyway.

Answer 8

Even though I didn't pay $100 a plate, I say you should invite him. It' sounds like the only proper thing to do.

Not his whole freakin' family. Just him and his wife if he is married. But that's it. You don't have to get him a gift or anything like that.

Hope this helped!

Answer 9

Inviting the man who is marrying you to your reception is the proper thing to do. You are getting pre-marrital counseling from him so you will know him a little. It's just good manners.

Answer 10

Yes, you should invite him. But typically they decline.

If anything, they might come and say the blessing if you dont want your father to do the prayer, but normally they thank you for the invite and say no.