i'm sick of being mistreated!!!?

Question

ive been dating this guy for three months and well....he rarely calls...or messages...and only talks to me when he wants to hang out...but when im around him,everything is perfect. i wrote a letter expressing how i felt. and im scared that i'll lose him because he'll think im clingy for wanting to be a more serious girlfriend, what if he doesnt respond?

Answer 1

You're not being clingy, you want to feel adored and cared about and needed. There is nothing wrong with that. It sounds to me like he has you for more of a convenience. When two people are a couple they do things together, spend time with eachother and most importantly they both let eachother know they are needed. I think you need to re-evaluate your relationship and ask yourself if you really want to be with a guy who seems so emotionally detached.

Me and my bf talk every day and see eachother whenever we get the chance. Even with our busy schedules, we'll meet for a quick bite after work or he'll go grocery shopping with me just so we can be together. We can't go for more than a couple hours without texting eachother to let the other know "hey I'm thinking about you".

He doesn't sound like very good BF material. You shouldn't feel needy or clingy. And why isn't he calling you on a regular basis??? What else is he doing that is so damn important.

I wouldn't be too scared of losing him. What's the worse that can happen? A guy who doesn't pay much attention to you dumps you? Or vice versa? Trust me, you'll get over it and find someone else worth spending your time with who wants to spend time with you too : )

Answer 2

I wish I could have stopped you from writing that letter. You should never have to display your feelings in a letter. If a guy is interested in you then he'll show you that he cares. If he's not interested in you then he'll act just like your boyfriend is acting. Because you wrote that letter you will come across as needy and clingy. He may not respond to it. Or he may not respond to your letter the way that you want him to respond. You need to give this guy some time to miss you. Pull away for awhile and see what happens. Stop calling him. If he notices that you stopped calling and writing him needy letters then maybe there's a chance for the two of you. However, if he doesn't notice then you need to forget about him and move on to the next guy that will give you the time that you want. Remember in any relationship displaying your heart in a letter, the phone or e-mail is always a bad idea.

Answer 3

Ok first if he doesnt respond he is an *** hole and second god wants you to give him that letter to him for a reason its worth the risk there are plenty more men where he came from trust me there are alwasy bigger better fish in the sea and I hate seeing girls like you not being able to fully express themselves cause they dont want to "upset" the guy or what ever who cares honestly is any man really ever good enough my sunt tells me no we just pick out the ones we like learn and get better... Like me I have a wonderful boyfriend and I was in the same spot I wanted him to call me at east once a day so i could just hear his voice I wanted our relationship to be exclusive not seeing anyone else and I told him and he and I have been in love and happy ever since. We are getting married on ST. Patricks day this year its my birthday and we are both Irish!

Answer 4

look i'm guilty of all these things myself time and time again, but one thing i've come to learn is that people can only do to you what you let them. Also your need for him increasing because of his rejection is misplaced feeling that need to be redirected into self respect!!! For one you dont really have him in the first place to loose, honastly come on he has other girlfriends or atleast the life he does have wether others are involved are not are more important at this time than your relationship. If you sincerely feel this is worth giving it another shot before letting go than your gonna have to make him in a sense have a conversation with you about his future plans, is he more concerned with securing a future before marriage or marriage while securing future and where do you fit into the picture and also ask the same question of yourself dont let him dictate your future based on the simple fact does he want me because at some point you will come to learn loving someone greatly involves you loving the other person as well and even more so than focusing on being loved and until you can come to terms with that all your relationships will simply be learning tools until the right one comes along for you, but i'll tell ya I bet its not this one and certainly not while your still in this frame of mind. Listen Its frustrating you want it and you want it now I always did to and wanted it my way but its a hard lesson to be learned but rewarding in the end, I hope you unlike myself can take the advice and relax with it and be patient knowing things come only when your ready for them, also people again only do to you what you let them. I was one that heard and was aware but just had to do it anyways until I fully got the picture as might be with you, and thats ok dont be so hard on yourself but dont be a fool either you need a few experiences not a ton then you'll be a wreck, anyways hay goodluck Kim

Answer 5

Christian Answers from Khalil Ahlee:
Advice:It's best to allow the male to pursue the female, that's how you gain his respect. Men like to chase, I know it's hard when you really like somebody. Don't call him, give him the chance to call you, don't answer everytime he calls, I know it's hard. Hang out by yourself or with friends: the mall, park restaurants ect. Don't be so open just to hang out with him. Yes if you push him too much he will become scared and go the opposite direction. Answer: The main goal is to get the man, so follow my advice and you will see a change, if he decides that he doesn't want to be with you, that's not your problem, he's actually saving you time and a future headache.

Answer 6

Though you may feel neglected, this is not being mistreated. If the relationship is not as serious as you would like it to be you need to let him know you want to see more of him. Yes, it is risky just like writing him your note, but you might as well know now... OR you can just relax a little and let things develop. Things don't always happen within our expected time tables...especially matters of the heart. Relax, young one.

Answer 7

Honey take it slow and he might come around he might have other things on his mind.
Try to tell him you how you feel about him.
If he don't feel the same way he probably is one of the bad ones anyway.
After three months he should know how he feels about you.
He may want something more or he may just want what you two have right now.
If he is ready to settle down he will tell you and if now he will let you know.
Don't just come out and say you love him just say you really care about him and would like to know how he feels about you.

Answer 8

you are a convenience to him which isn't cool, your a wonderful person and you have feelings, this isn't fair or right to you. I think you deserve much better. I know you like him and i know you don't want to hear this but you need someone that deserves you not someone that only wants to see you when he wants to hang out especially if he has a lot of free time. I hope that everything works out for you take care.

Answer 9

He doesn't call or message because he doesn't care. You are someone convenient when nobody better is around. Stop wasting your time writing letters, it will only make you look desperate and annoying. Spend your time instead with your friends and family. Someone good will come along who will like you for you.

Answer 10

Its been three months. You should be a serious girlfriend at this point. Or at least close. If you lose him then that means that he just isnt ready for a relationship. If he doesn;t respond...move on