Okay so my boyfriend has been acting really strange lately...he doesn't want to do things with me I always have to call him and he doesn't do the things he used to..like pull me aside and kiss me for no reason or call me just because he missed me or come and see me when he knows he should go home....I don't know what to do we just got back together two weeks ago and besides that we've been together for 9 months. and I love him and I'm scared I'm gonna lose him.. I don't know what to do...He asked me to marry him but now when I ask him if that's what he still wants all he says is I don't know...He's my life, and I really do love him...Anyone have any advice.
2007-02-22 03:37:55 · 9 answers · asked by Abby 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
By the way he's 22 and I'm 21 and we're both in school but we're not living together...if that helps..you all are making me cry I've heard some really good advice on here and I thank you guys for caring...
2007-02-22 04:35:53 · update #1
The best thing to do is talk to him there is obviously some problem here...maybe he is getting cold feet about getting married so young.
2007-03-01 23:12:13 · answer #1 · answered by fajita 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
But anyways it's hard to tell if he really likes you. I'm a guy (only a teenager) and I've had some "break-ups" in my years. But the ones that were ended by me happened exactly as you're describing your boyfriend to be doing. It's hard to know if you like the girl anymore, and you just slowly drift away with no real reason. You just do because the relationship feels...wrong somehow. To add to that, I'm not the best at doing the break-up stuff. So I just ignore the girl - pretend like I don't see, hear, or notice her in any way. I also give short, lame-o responses that I think hurt her. But that's kind of what I want to do. I'm too much of a jerk to tell her outright that I don't like her anymore, even if I once thought she was "the one". I behave badly, somehow forcing her to make the break-up request instead of me. It's not good, but that's how I do it.
2007-03-02 11:25:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know how old you are darling but I would guess quite young.I don't intend to patronize but there is a saying, Familiarity breeds contempt!
This guy knows he doesn't need to try with you any more and will only treat you more and more poorly.
If you speak to people in their 40's or 50's of both genders I am sure they will agree. As hard as it is, if you take my advise draw a line under this relationship it's not the one for you. Things good and bad always happen for a reason. A while after this has run it's course you will meet someone much more suited to you. Trust me life has a way of surprising you just when you least expect it!
Good luck and chin up as we say in the U.K.
2007-02-22 11:54:09 · answer #3 · answered by Daddy s 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Get a broader life. You cannot make the one person your life, you will suffocate them. Have hobbies and friends, do things that don't involve your bf. Talk to him about your concerns but makes sure you use 'I' statements. Eg I am concerned that you are no longer interested in marrying me, I sometimes feel you do not love me with the same depth as before. Never say things like do you still want to marry me, it comes out like an accusation. Obviously put it in your own words but make sure you word it so he knows it is the way you feel, not you telling him how he feels or demanding how he feels. See if he feels like sitting down and discussing your relationship. Don't hassle him to discuss it there and then. Make a time so that you can both give it your attention without any distractions. Just remember to start the statements with 'I', or 'I feel', not 'do you' or 'you are'. If he isn't interested in making a time to discuss things when you let him know that you really need to discuss your relationship, then maybe he isn't really interested in being with you. Let him go if that is what he wants. Clinging to him is not going to keep him in your life. But do make sure that you know how you feel about him and that you are willing to tell him exactly how you feel. Three is no point in expecting him to put his feelings into words if you aren't willing to do so too.
2007-02-22 11:51:24 · answer #4 · answered by Avril P 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You should straight out ask him what's going on. I think, perhaps, that he might be just as confused as you are. There could be something going on in his life that has nothing to do with you. The only thing that you can really do is be supportive and ask him for the truth
Good luck hon.
2007-02-22 12:05:22 · answer #5 · answered by Megan S 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i suggest slowing things down.
dont talk about marriage anymore or anything about the far future.
keep things down to a bare minimun whenever you mention a trip in the future or when hes doing this summer.
he's starting to feel smothered and scared and doubtful. just be there with him and take things one day at a time.
it'll be hard, but he'll become more comfortable.
2007-02-22 11:42:18 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
maybe there's something going on with him that he's having a difficult time dealing with it. Listen girl ... talk to him. have a real talk with him and be honest. and make sure he knows that you really do love him .... maybe he's scared of getting married. don't pressure him either. if you guys are meant to be then you will be. be very supportive and everything will work out.
2007-02-22 11:45:10 · answer #7 · answered by destiney 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don't be afraid...lose him. He's seeing someone else. I'm sure there's somebody out there who deserves to share your passion and commitment.
2007-02-22 11:42:06 · answer #8 · answered by father of 4 husband of 1 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
he asked you to marry him???
well, at least you know what being married to him will be like...lots of lonely times!
2007-02-22 11:40:42 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋