Any ideas on how to deal with sibling rivalry btwn. two toddlers?

Question

I have a 2 yr. old boy and a 1 yr old little girl. My son has been quite aggressive, possesive with toys(but does well with sharing his food, go figure) with her lately and just being plain mean to her. I myself fall victim to abuse from my older brother over the yrs. and am very scared that history will take its course with my little ones. I have tried time-outs with him when I see he is at fault and have talked to him about being sweet to his sissy. I also have a 3m. old little girl and he does absolutely WONDERFUL with her. Please help!

Answer 1

try to notice the good behavior like 'Oh WOW! I just love how your are so happy now with sissy, sharing food, that makes mommy so happy" and jump around to show how much you care!

When he is doing something you don't like, put on a sad face and say "Oh MOmmy is so so so sad, see my face, I am not happy!" eventually they'll get the idea. Kids love to make you happy!

Answer 2

I know how hard it is! I have a 5 yr girl, 4 year old boy and a 3 year old girl! OK, here's what I did/do. My son is a lot bigger than the girls, and he really can and does hurt them. So I have found that the trick is to be VERY consistent! Every time he does something that is mean then he gets into trouble(time outs looses the toy whatever) and its the same every time he does it. (differs from thing to thing) And the girls get into trouble if they are the ones causing the problems. Now my son knows that if he is mean then Mama does.... and if he wont share his toy then it becomes Mamas for a time. And he knows that the girls cant be mean to him either.
You also need to start(at 2 you will sound like a broken record) that boy DO NOT hit girls...your bigger than her and can hurt her, to start with.
Good Luck! If you would like to talk to someone that is going through 3 kids in 3 yrs too my email is [e-mail]
God Bless

Answer 3

Obviously your 1 year old little girl is falling victim to the common epidemic of "middle child", but don't worry it can be fixed. Next time your son is picking on your daughter, take him into your bedroom and tell him that every time he is mean to his sister, he has to give her a quarter. (if your toddlers really don't care about money yet, them make it another substantial punishment, such as one of his toys, or something else that matters to him) Then tell him that every time you catch him being nice to his younger sister you will put a quarter into a jar, and at the end of the week you'll use that EXACT change for ice cream (or a toy he likes) but remember this, he will probably try to abuse the "nice" reward so make sure you catch him when he really is being nice, and not faking it for your benefit. Eventually he'll care less about the ice cream, and being nice to his sister will become a habit.

Answer 4

At this age, you can talk to your kids are blue in the face and they probably won't change. But keep trying, and redirect your son when he's overly aggressive. There's a great book called 1-2-3 Magic which I found helpful. I'm not sure if your son is old enough, but you could take a look at it. I'd keep doing what you're doing. At some point, these things do sink in.

He's nice to your infant daughter because she's not a threat (yet). Know that this is very normal, and yes, this too shall pass. But you're wise to keep on top of it.

Answer 5

Having a 3 and 2 year old 16 months apart, There's 2 things I do. I first try to ask (usually the 3 yr) to give it back to her sister if that doesn't work I take the toy away. And tell them until they can get along they toy will be put away.

Answer 6

First of all, do not leave them alone in the same room. You need to protect your 1 year old. Second, he needs to be disciplined every time he is mean to her. Third, he needs to be praised every time he is nice to her. Fourth, the 1 year old needs to be disciplined when he is mean to his older brother, even if it is just for show. For example, the 2 year old is playing with a toy and the 1 year old comes over and takes it. The toy needs to be taken away from the 1 year old and given back to the two year old. That teaches the 2 year old that it goes both ways and the little one is not given special treatment.

Answer 7

I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH MY FIRST 2 ARE 14 MO APART(2&3) 2.5 YRS APART (3&4) 4 YRS APART MY OLDEST IS NOW 10 AND HE SAYS THE REASON HE WAS SO MEAN IS B/C HE FELT HE HAD TO COMPETE FOR ATTENTION I NEVER REALIZED HOW IT FELT TO HIM I THOUGHT I WAS DOING GOOD SHARING MY TIME I JUST KEPT EXPLAING TO HIM THAT I LOVE HIM JUST AS MUCH AS THE REST AND ASKED HOW HE WOULD LIKE IT IF HIS BROTHER TOOK IT FROM HIM. MINE STILL FIGHT LIKE CATS AND DOGS BUT ARE THERE TO BACK THE OTHER ONES UP AT A MOMENTS NOTICE THEY WILL FIGHT BEING SO YOUNG BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN THEY WON'T BE CLOSE WHEN THEY GET OLDER

Answer 8

One thing you might want to avoid is that your little boy may blame the sister when he gets in trouble for not sharing which will increase his animosity towards her. Maybe if he got praised and treats for being nice to her he would see her in a different light. Positive reinforcement not negative and maybe let her give the treat to him or be a part of it.

Answer 9

wow 3 kids in two years. you go girl. punish both kids when thy fight. she is old enough for timeout too, seperate him from her if he is hitting and biting and a swat to the bottom wouldnt hurt him either he needs to know and so does she that she is being naughty

added
try giving him special time with you he could be acting out because of the younger children boys need alot of mommy attention

Answer 10

Nellie, do no longer evaluate this to be a opposition. you need to think relating to the version on your age. 5 years do make a distinction and incredibly there replaced right into a lot of variations in the mentality. Now what's on your previous is the previous and supply up recalling what your Mum did help you do or positioned on on a similar time as now she is extra lenient including your sister. this is in simple terms a count of years. whilst i replaced into approximately two decades previous i could be domicile at evening at approximately 9 on a similar time as immediately at 9 toddlers could be making waiting themselves to flow out to appreciate themselves. So i will no longer be able to maintain a similar follow my newborn yet ought to think relating to the variations that handed off. What you suggested are in simple terms trivial issues. At 11 your sister is till ultimately a newborn and that i do no longer think of that she grew to alter right into a youthful lady as yet, nonetheless if no longer she isn't distant. females do improve very rapidly as quickly as they start up having their classes and in in simple terms a little while they could be youthful women. you comprehend what I recommend for you experienced this already nonetheless you're nevertheless youthful your self. you will no longer be able to assert what in a 2 years' time your mom will enable your sister to positioned on. those are in simple terms threat and don't enable them to problem you. Be close yo your sister and additionally you need to be of sturdy help to her in the arrival years.