How come every time I walk into a church, I burst into flames?

Answer 1

It's called operant conditioning, and all religions use it as a teaching method. It accidentally happened once to you when you went into church so now you must always accept it without question. It doesn't matter that it only happened once, many years ago and could have been a fluke - it is now accepted by all theologians as fact that you will always burst into flame when you walk into a church. Be happy, you have discovered the way religion works.

Answer 2

you're being full of the spirit that's variety of a flaming fire and a refiner. Acts 2 a million And while the day of Pentecost became completely come, they have been all with one accord in one place. 2 And abruptly there got here a valid from heaven as of a dashing robust wind, and it filled all the abode the place they have been sitting. 3 And there regarded unto them cloven tongues like as of fire, and it sat upon each of them. 4 and that they have got been all full of the Holy Ghost, and commenced to talk with different tongues, by way of fact the Spirit gave them utterance.

Answer 3

Immaculate Combustion.

Answer 4

Because you aren't wearing the flame retardant suit?

Answer 5

I would suggest that you stop setting yourself on fire just to prove a point.
Perhaps you might consider buddism and just lite a match in the middle of the street.

Answer 6

Try using the front door instead of climbing down the chimney.

Answer 7

must be the careless way you walk past the alter with that black cape hitting the candles

so you are at least trying to accept Christ as your savior by going, thats all that counts

Answer 8

You really should stop palming a load of dry ice and dipping your hand in the font when you go in!

Don't worry love, it happens to the best (!?) of us!

Lx

Answer 9

Its the Holy Spirit trying to get you attention.

Answer 10

Are you using lighter fluid for cologne again?
You promised me you would stop smoking too.