A man who needs to grow up? Help!!?

Question

So.. My ex-girlfriend told me she is pregnant, with my child. My ex-wife, thru an extra marital affair, has given me a child. I live in a half way house recovering from drug addiction. My question is.... I dont really know. I love my 3 year old daughter even tho I am not her biological father. My ex-girlfriend and I are broke up but she has decided to keep the child and raise it. Im scared and I know its time to face everything good and bad. I have a good job and will return to it in May, after a 6 month medical withdrawl. I have shown up for my daughter financially and emotionally. She is the biggest reason I am clean and sober today. Can u give me some POSITIVE feedback please.

Answer 1

It sounds like you are one of us, an addict! our lives are all filled with similar stories about out lacking in responsibilities from making poor choices. Stay in the moment. We cannot take back what we did in the past and we can't predict what will happen for us in the future. We need to take life one day at a time. You are already doing what you can to make today more positive for your life. Don't fret over all of this. Do you have a sponsor? You need one! Constant communications of this type with your sponsor to suggest ways to work it all out will prove to be worth its weight in gold. For now, Turn it over to your higher power, put one foot in front of the other and just keep moving forward, one step at a time. Now just do the next right thing. You will make it through this if you keep looking up! Hang in there and thanks for sharing!

Answer 2

First and foremost - I must say - CONGRATULATIONS on wanting to better yourself. I work with offenders that are also drug addicts and they do NOT want to get better. You are a better person just by working so hard at it. Good for you! It's awesome that you have so much love for your 3-year old. Who cares if isn't the same blood - I'm sure SHE doesn't care. She's feeding on your love anyway and misses you when you're gone. The baby your ex-girlfriend is having could be a problem if she's wanting money out of it. I would want to make sure (DNA) it is yours for sure before you feel obligated. You have ENOUGH on your plate right now, buddy not to add something else! Good luck and God Bless!

Answer 3

Be a man and be there for the kids. Obviously the other guy isn't there for the little girl. It takes a real man to be a Dad. You are now attatched lifelong to your girlfriend whether you want to be or not. For the well being of your OWN child, do what you know is morally and spiritually right. Every child needs their Father. Good luck and may the Lord bless and keep you and those children.

Answer 4

You're on the right track. Tell your ex-girlfriend exactly what you've said here. It is sincere. Let her know that you plan to be a good father, but that you will need her understanding and suppport. Just be honest. It sounds like things are looking up, so just keep going. Sounds like you've beaten some tough odds, a new baby can be the blessing you've been needing. Good luck.

Answer 5

You're doing everything you should be, and you have a reason to be stressed out! But just imagine the smile on your daughter's face, and pretty soon, she's going to have a sibling to share that beautiful smile and happiness with! And you'll have twice the blessing! Keep sober, I only wish someone in my life had the courage you did...

Answer 6

Yes, it is time to straighten up and grow up. You have tried you best to hide from the realities of life through drugs but now there are children who are depending on you. If you have a good job that is a great start. Go to NA meetings regularly. You will have to fight drug cravings for the rest of your life. Carry a picture of your child with you at all times to remind you of what you are striving for. You can do. You have a real motivation.

Answer 7

Well,You have one thing accomplished, and that is seeing that you had a drug addition problem ,and that you have more to look forward to in your life, like being there for your kid ,and that I admire you for this.Maybe you should try to make things either work out between you, and the exgirlfriend, or come to some sort of agreement between you both? That is if you still want to be with your ex although,Try not to worry things always work out for the best!

Answer 8

No questions needed--sounds like you are on your way to growing up CLEAN & SOBER!!! Give your children wonderful memories of a super dad. I grew up with an addicted father and it was hell on earth--DON'T do that to your kids. I don't know what type of relationship that you have with the mother(s)--but LOVE those kids!

I'll keep you in my prayers and you'll do just fine...you sound like you're getting it together!!

Answer 9

adult men were presented up on a opposite agenda to women.traditionally adult men a presented as a lot as be the breadwinners i.e the reasonable provider the position as women actually everyone seems to study to be the bearer and carer of the kin.that is drummed into the heads of childrens from a gentle age type the garments they placed on to the toys they play with.hence women human beings were taught responsibly of being concerned for themselves besides as others the position as boys are anticipated to act up,be naughty it really is bolstered by the moms and dads 'boys will be boys' frame of mind.Their breadwinner function isn't enforced until eventually the secondary years and is often compelled upon them by the preparation equipment the position by they're inspired to do male matters as a source of monetary benefit.hence adult men are not to any extent further truly pushed carry any genuine duty until eventually their late adolescents which mixed with testosterone motives them to act irrationally and spoil out with it,it really is what they're used to and characteristic been taught for virtually all of their youthful lives.even if or not they strengthen up at the same time as they have common themselves economically is the question.i trust that once adult men are settled they're going to mature.also women human beings ought to recognize that we to favor to strengthen up in some recommendations also and perhaps attempt to no longer implement gender segregation on our own toddlers no count number climate they're youngster.

Answer 10

You are doing everything you need to do...both for yourself,and your children. Its awesome that you recognised that you had a problem and did what you could to fix it. As far as I'm concerned, you are more supportive of your children then some dads who live in the home with their kids. Congratulations, be happy, get better and give yourself a pat on the back and some credit...you definately deserve it.