How can I project a more approachable energy ?

Question

Very kind inside, bullets bounce off outside. Wish to smlie more and become appochable.
Am Buddhist (Tibet)
Please Help

Answer 1

As we approach the stressors in our life with optimism, we effectively deal with stress, anger, anxiety, depression, worry, etc. successfully. Take 15 min. early in the morning, and 15 min. in the evening to practice a simple meditation called the mindfulness of breathing. [Practice Analytical meditation for 15 min. a day; spoken of later].
Mindfulness of Breathing exercises:
1) Be in a comfortable position, whether sitting
or lying down.
2) Have someone watch your other children for
about 15 min. [Increase in time gradually, after practicing for a month].
Then close your eyes, and concentrate
totally on your breathing.
3) At the end of your first inhalation of oxygen,
count one. Keep doing this until you get to Ten. Then start back at one. Remain patient with yourself.
4) Then focus your attention on breathing only
through your nostrils, which filter out all
the things, which are not healthy to breath
into your lungs. Be aware of the various
sensations through your nostrils, while you
continue the counting. When you get to
ten, start again at one.
5) When a distracting thoughts enters your mind
allow them to pass through {your mind], or judging them, or trying to fix them.
And then gently, patiently bring your full
attention back to your breath. Every time,
a distracting thought {any thought which
would take your attention of your breath),
comes to your mind, you need to use this
skillful, disciplinary method of bring it back.
Thoughts do come into our minds, especially
worrisome , or pressing thoughts
which indicate to us that we have an anxious mind.
Just be patient w/yourself, and keep practicing.
**"There is proven evidence of the
Success of The Mindfulness of Breathing
Exercises Proven by Dr. Jon Kabat-ZinnPhD
Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn PhD. has a book
out called, "Coming to Our Senses' which
teaches this. *There is also a book called, " The
Beginner's Guide to Insight Meditation"
by: Arinna Weisman & Jean Smith which is most
Excellent also.*” The Mindfulness of Breathing
greatly help us to clearly see things as they really are, in order to act and react in a healthy manner toward people, and situations in life.
I practice mindfulness of breathing to reduce stress and anger, and to cultivate Patience. I really enjoy the practice of mindfulness of breathing exercises. In Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn's clinic in Mass. he teaches the mindfulness of breathing to his patients to help them reduce pain, stress, anxiety, anger, depression, and worry. Many people establish the practice of mindfulness, as a way of life for themselves. For some, who are very Analytical, and might have a difficult time calming down their mind, "analytical meditation" is probably geared more for them. This method of meditation is excellent for effectively dealing with pain, stress, & anger. Training in Patience: The meditation of observing our stress and anger involves paying close attention to the storyline behind stress and anger. We note the blood rushing to our head, our heart pounding, the emotional pain of hurt feelings, disappointment, & unfulfilled expectations. Simply observing these, “but Not reacting to them by clinging to them or pushing them away, we experience them as they are in the present. In doing so, we watch them arise And Cease in their own accord.” Mindfulness is very effective in letting go of Negative emotions. “Techniques in which we re-frame the situation constitute most of this volume, and they fall in the category of 'Analytical meditation, in which we investigate our thoughts, feeling, and perceptions to discern if they are accurate and beneficial. Changing the way we describe and interpret situations subdue stress, pain, anger because we stop exaggerating and projecting negativities onto people, situations, and objects.' In this way, the external event, its meaning, & our position in it appear to us differently, and our stress and anger evaporates.” Meditation on love and compassion{loving-kindness meditation], (which many do as form of walking meditation) strengthens these positive thoughts and emotions in our minds and hearts, which are beneficial because these thoughts and emotions act not only as antidotes to stress and anger, but also as measures preventing them from arising. So for some, mindfully observing their Thoughts and emotions allow stress and anger to subdue naturally, while for others, a more Analytical approach is necessary. Through investigation{introspection), we see clearly that stress and anger are states of mind that misapprehends their object {either the person or the situation). But remember, subduing stress & anger, to cultivate Patience properly is a slow and steady process. Don’t expect them to always disappear overnight. Reacting stressfully and in anger are deeply ingrained habits, & like all habits, it takes time to unlearn. Practice Meditating daily. (Think about this, who really gives us the best opportunity to demonstrate patience, compassion, and tolerance? Not our friends, because they are nice to us. It is our enemies. Through having an optimistic attitude, we can clearly see that it is our enemies which help us that infinitely beneficial, wholesome quality of Patience. It is those who harm and offend us that actually give us excellent opportunities to cultivate Patience). “Meditation greatly helps us deal effectively with stress, and anger – to cultivate Patience and tolerance, resulting in Peace of Mind.
This “Patience” is the ability to remain internally calm, and undisturbed in the face of harm or difficulties. Through the situations in life which we are faced with, patience and wisdom are cultivated and stress-energy w/in us, and the anger-energy within us are slowly dissolved, resulting in peace of mind.

Answer 2

Think of positive things. Positive energy attracts positive things. This is the law of Physics.
Do you remember that Buddha teaches The " Loving Kindness " meditation? Try this meditation. It changes not only your energy but the energy around you as well. Love is the highest frequency there is in the universe.

Answer 3

Smile. Practice in the mirror. Sometimes I feel like I'm smiling, but it doesn't show up so much on my face. I have to smile harder.

I read "How to Win Friends and Influence People" years ago, and that's a great guide. Give it a try.

Answer 4

Smile, mostly. Look people right in the eyes. Watch your body language (no crossed arms or legs, and try to "mirror" the other person when you can.) Ask open-ended questions. (Instead of "have a good weekend?" ask "What was the best part of your weekend?")

Answer 5

Youo can work on externals, but it's like moving around furniture.
Ask, wait for the answer and act.

Answer 6

Think approachable

~

Answer 7

Smile and have a kindly manner, look people in the eyes and speak gently.

Answer 8

Smile, and make eye contact.