2007-02-22 02:04:45 · 9 answers · asked by ? 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I agree with the point that we shdn't adivse until asked for. But in this case, it's about girlfriends, and girlfriends share stuff. My friend expressed herself saying she is feeling down and all, and I wondered if she needed me to just listen, or to offer my insights. Some people don't *directly* ask for opinions.
2007-02-22 02:47:10 · update #1
If you are asking I am guessing the person didnt ask for the advice. So it might be best to just not say anything. I know if someone gave me advice without me asking (if I needed it or not) I would feel hate towards them...but thats just me...
Edit..to your "more detail"
In that case I think it would be okay to tell what you think. Just after she has told you "so & so" say something like "Do you mind if I tell you what I think?" Or something along those lines.
2007-02-22 02:12:13 · answer #1 · answered by deathfromace 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When you friend seems down, ask her if she wants support or advice; sometimes people just need to have their feelings validated before they can dismiss them, and sometimes they want some tough love to shake them out their depression.
This is NOT your call to make - ask your friend what they need right now, and agree to make it a habit between you to signal at the start of the conversation which is needed. For example, I start off telling my friend "I just need to vent" to let her know that I want to just agree with me while I get the problem off my chest; I tell her "I don't know what to do" when I instead need her advice.
And it will be difficult for you to come across as an authentic "know-it-all" if you don't remember that "advise" is a verb, not a noun - you can advise someone or you can give advice. In general, you can avoid sounding condescending by expressing advice as your opinion, your viewpoint (which admittedly may be flawed or incomplete) instead of as the correct or absolute answer.
2007-02-22 12:27:11 · answer #2 · answered by teresathegreat 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
advice should only be given when asked for. It's kinda like giving someone a piece of your mind when no one really asked for it and that comes off condescending. Just be an ear to listen and wait. If they are about to harm themself then of course get right up in their face but otherwise people have to learn by experience.
2007-02-22 10:15:52 · answer #3 · answered by woman01234 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This case is difficult. She might have just wanted to vent and doesn't really care about what you have to say, but at the same time, she might want your advice, but not want to ask for it. What I would have done/do is wait until a subject change and if the other person brings up the problem again, say "Would you like my advice?"
2007-02-22 11:00:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Rather than ask if the person wants your "advice" is to ask if they would like to hear what you "think". This way you would be sharing your thoughts vs. telling her what to do. Confirming the choices are hers to make.
2007-02-22 11:16:41 · answer #5 · answered by Pacifica 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If a person asks your advice give it like you normally would...just don't make it look like the person is stupid for asking.
2007-02-22 10:25:21 · answer #6 · answered by B"Quotes 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask the person if they want some advice. If they say no, don't be persistent. Just ask once, and don't attack it.
2007-02-22 11:18:18 · answer #7 · answered by Hi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Know what you're talking about; and more importantly, offer your opinion only when asked.
2007-02-22 10:15:09 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, you should wait until someone asks for advice. Second, never say "you should..." Instead, say "If I were you, I would...."
2007-02-22 10:12:39 · answer #9 · answered by startwinkle05 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋