whats wrong with me?

Question

ive had a good childhood, grew up enjoying success in the social arena was always a joc, in primary school i was going out with girls in year 6 and 7. Always been part of the so called "too cool" group not that id call it that myself. Im now 18, and the problem is i havnt had a girlfiend since primary school. its not as if im not looking every time i go out im always on the prowl. However still nothing. I get a lot of interest, if i do say so myself im quite attractive yet whenever i think about interacting with girls i get nervous and think about way too much stuff like "whats she gonna think if i say this or that or do this and that", i seem to have a total lack of confidence. For example i became really good friends with one girl online and id met her a few times in real life, it was a sealed deal, she told me she told me things she told noone else and she top friended me on myspace, but after meeting her in rl i think she was totally put off by my lack of confidence. please help

Answer 1

Confidence is a GREAT thing to have. You have to be happy with yourself, and believe in you. If they don't like you, then to hell with them. At least you tried, right? Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and try again. Most importantly be yourself. Don't be scared or ashamed to show who you really are.

Answer 2

Well, at least you've pin-pointed that lack of confidence part. I was similar to you in school, but the secret is that you can't care what anyone else thinks of you, as long as you have no problem with yourself. Understand?

You mention being in the "too cool" group and you realize that you're "quite attractive" (Congratulations, by the way), so you may be giving off a vibe females don't like.

They like the strong guy, but they like the vulnerable guy too. Once you come to terms with the fact that you're not perfect and no one expects you to be, you'll be laughing. Learn to laugh at yourself. Once you can do that you'll figure out that when you're comfortable with being yourself, the females will be attracted to your confidence.

...but in the mean time, lose the bravado; girls don't care if you had a "girlfriend" when you were 9, as they don't count. Being quite attractive...as you do say so yourself...is useless unless you have a personality to back it up.


Good luck, Biff.

Answer 3

Something is wrong if it infringes on a person's natural rights. All people are entitled to things such as life, liberty, and prosperity. So if you kill a person, you take away their life. If you put them through dominance and abuse without their consent, you take away their liberty. If you steal their property or money, you are affecting their prosperity. Something is right if it preserves those natural rights and promotes them for others. If you save someone, work to give people suffrage, or give to charity, you are doing the right thing. However, the line between right and wrong often becomes blurred. For instance, suppose you kill a murderer who broke into your home to save your own family. In this example, we can dissect your actions and judge them individually to be either right or wrong. Killing the man was wrong, but protecting your family and property was right. In this case, the number of right actions and the amount of good that was done is greater than the evil, so you would be right in this situation.

Answer 4

Hi sweetie,
OK, Nothing is wrong with you.. Heck in a way i know how you feel, i've been there too, it's like you real could like this person, yet you just stop and think about the negative side of what could happen or be said. That's perfectly normal to feel. Just try to believe in yourself alil more, don't stay thinking only about what it is that might go wrong, think of the positive points in meeting someone.Your 18 so when out with people just be yourself and don't worry about messing up as much, if you do laugh about it and if girls don't seem to like you for plainly being yourself then they aren't worth dating. Just open up alil and be more positive...

Good luck...

Answer 5

Your self described attractiveness aside, yes, you hit it right on the head. You apparently don't have confidence. It will show through. That, or yopu have a huge fear of being rejected..
As far as what you think about, I suppose we've all done that sort of thing to one extent or another, but if you dwell on it, it will give you a whole set of other problems.
What I am thinking though is that there is something that you really don't like about yourself. I say this because if you like yourself, you will have confidence enough.

Answer 6

You are over-thinking the situation and expecting negative outcomes.....the original self-fulfilling prophecy.
Relax, son. If you can figure out the "reason" for your lack of confidence, OK. But if you can't, OK, too. Every new situation is a bit intimidating--jobs, relationships, whatever. Yet every new situation becomes familiar and eventually comfortable.....then comes the confidence. In the meantime--Fake it til you make it.
(the confidence, that is.)



Value yourself.

Answer 7

Relax. Your only 18! Stop worrying what people think of you. Now is the time for growing. Perhaps some counseling may help. Good luck!

Answer 8

sweetie, remember things happen to people in life for a reason, maybe god does not think that this is the right time or maybe there's something better out there that he has reserved for you,and i bet you'll see it soon. When you try too hard or jump into things, you don't get exactly what you want than when you wait.

Answer 9

even many of my frnds had this situation i am a gud counciler for this see u told that u had no girl frnd from primary and u dont know how to interact with them this means that u want love i mean u want a girl who understands everybody seems to not fit for u u would fall in love surely but only with one girl njoy ur life