Bridezilla!?

Question

My best friend is getting married. She has been engaged for about 18 months, and, as the maid of honor, I have been involved in a lot of the planning. At first, I was excited, but it's dragging on so long, and she is really putting an unreasonable amount of pressure on me to do things her way. I am a single mother, and I work and go to school, and she tries to make me feel guilty when I can't do, or am not enthusiastic about doing something for her. Am I being unreasonable?

Answer 1

You have to be honest and tactful.

You must tell her:

I'm so happy for you for your upcoming wedding and so honored of being your maid of honor. I would like for you to be a bit patient with me as you now that I have other responsabilities to tend to. As a single mom I have to juggle between my job, my child, my school, my household etc. and sometimes I don't have as much time available as I would like. I would like for you to take this into consideration when scheduling things for your wedding. I'm very happy to help you and I'm very excited as well . I wish to be able to handle it all one thing a the time. I would aprretiate your understanding and patient with me and hope that I can fulfill my obligations as a maid of honor throughly.

Good luck

Answer 2

Hell no, you aren't being unreasonable at all. Realizing that having taken on the responsibility of MOH, you do have certain jobs that you are required to do. Apparently you couldn't have known how much of a toll this would take on you, or else you wouldn't have accepted the job. You can do one of two things - tell your friend that your responsibilities are beginning to get beyond your ability at the time - and consider stepping down to just bridesmaid - turning the MOH reins over to another maid. Or ask your friend to "ease up" on what her expectations of you are. Explain or remind her of your other, more important responsibilities (kids, work and school are more important than her wedding - a wedding is a day, the others are a lifetime) and that you love her, want to be her MOH and are doing your very best (if you truly are). Don't be too hard on her, it's stressful as hell planning a wedding and even if she's being a total B - she probably doesn't realize how much it's affecting those around her - a good talking to, from you, might help everyone else involved. Good luck.

Answer 3

No, you are not being unreasonable. It sounds like she may be trying to take advantage of you. As Maid of Honor is not your duty to wait on her hand and foot or to go with her everywhere or even help plan the wedding. It is her wedding to plan. It could be that she just needs support, but it doesn't sound like it. All you really have to do traditionally as Maid of Honor is throw her a bridal shower. You could try talking to her - if she's a close enough of a friend to have ask you be the Maid of Honor then you should be able to tell her how you are feeling. If she won't listen - then maybe you should just decline the Maid of Honor position by saying that it's not fair to her that you can't always be there for her and should find somebody that can be.

Answer 4

I don't think you're being unreasonable, I actually think you're being very logical, and trying to be a good friend. If you weren't trying to be a good friend, i'm sure you would have told her off by now.

I can appreciate your frustration. I think your best course of action to sit and talk with her about what has been going on and how it has made you feel. Try taking the approach of explaining to her how excited you are about her wedding, and are so happy to be a part of it, but that at times times you feel like she's laying a guilt trip on you. Tell her you would love to do everything and anything for her, but that you have to try and balance your duties as a MOH with your duties as a mother and a student and sometimes you have to make tough decisions because you can't do it all.

I think your friend would understand. I'm sure she is giving you the bridezilla feel because she is soooooooo excited about her wedding and it is such a big event in her life that she is getting a bit of tunnel vision and doesn't realize how her actions are making you feel.

Good luck!!

Answer 5

No u r not being unreasonable but you need to let your friend know that she is getting a lil too demanding, you have your children to take of and other things in your life that need your attention and just let her know you are doing the best you can to help her out, and if she cant understand that you cant put your entire life on hold for her then she should ask someone else to help her..she should understand though..

Answer 6

I wouldn't say you're being unreasonable at all. You have a job to worry about and kid(s) to take care of. Assure her that you'll be there for the big things, but you also need to keep track of things going on in your own life too. Just remember that she's stressed out too - so don't blame her and point fingers at her. Good luck!

Answer 7

No you are not being unreasonable. I have tried not to be a bridezilla. No one wants to help me and I am gettin married in April. I had a similiar situation with a friend of mine. I did alot of stuff for her wedding and now its time for mine and she is being selfish. Perhaps you should remind your friend she should be lucky to have you helping her and that you also have a life outside of wedding planning.

Answer 8

Have you talked to her about this? She must be getting closer to her wedding date and feeling anxious. Let her know you would love to help her when you get a chance but right now you need to get your priorities in order. She can't get mad at you if you let her know your child and school are most important and that you can see yourself slacking in these areas.

Ask her about the other attendants, what are they doing? You can ask them yourself if they could help out when you are unable. Or let her know she needs to depend a little more on the others rather than just you.

Its hard not to defend her but you do have to say something before you are too burnt out. You might blow up at her one day not meaning to. Good Luck!

Answer 9

When I was getting married, my maid of honor had nothing to do with the planning. She did the bridal shower and that was it. Really, that's your only job as the maid of honor. The rest is up to her.

Answer 10

Talk to her about it. Tell her you're not comfortable with the pressure. Tell her you know it's her wedding and want to be there for her so her day is perfect, but that she is being unreasonable. :)