How to rebuild trust when she has lied to you and how do you believe her?

Question

Ive been with my girlfriend for just over 3mnths & she has lied to me twice already.
She got a text from her friend 2 go 2 a party in Falkirk (we live in Edinburgh) my girl never invited me which was unusual so a couple of days before it i asked her why this was the case & she said that it was a girls night. I then asked why the text she read to me never mentioned that & she said that she had deleted the other one with that info on it. So she went and drove through, never drank and came back to my house at 9pm. The day after i felt something wasnt right so i checked her mobile & there was a text recieved & one sent from her ex.
I asked her bout it & she swore blind that he had contacted her on the Friday morning (party was on Sat) & asked her 2 bring the spare set of car keys (they used 2 live 2gether). He lives in Falkirk 2. I want 2 believe her. Should I? Seems like 2 many coincidences 2 be true,1 night im not invited out & he happens to ask her about a car key,girls opinions too.

Answer 1

I would at least keep your guard up, protect your heart! She needs to earn your trust again by going for more than 3 months without another lie. Tell her that you're beginning to not trust her and ask her if she agrees that you have a valid reason to feel this way. She knows what she's doing. You should also ask that the 2 of you go to her ex boyfriends house with anything else she may have of his which will eliminate the need for her to meet with him again. If she refuses then she's not all that serious about your relationship. If she truly cares about you she will do whatever it takes to win your trust again. Best of Luck to you! =)

Answer 2

I think u should sort things out by sitting down and talking things through with her!!! i fully understand where you are coming from in terms of trust and yeah she could be telling the truth about the party and then she couldnt !!!! and thats why ur right to be suspicious and is very weird why now that her ex would ask about a set of car keys if a was you is to find out more for definate detail from your girlfriend

Answer 3

I would ask her. i can see it from your point of view. It is very suspicious, but from her side it may all be totally innocent.
After 3 months, you wanna make sure this relationship is heading in the right direction. She was obviously with the ex for a while for her to have been living with him. Just make sure that all her feelings and ties are completely over between them. If not, i would suggest a break for a while til she knows what she wants, then when she is over him, perhaps you can discuss a relationship again. If she denies any feelings for him, tell her she needs to be truthful to you and start from now on with a "no secrets" pact.

I hope this works out for you. you seem like a nice guy - the kind that is hard to come by!

Answer 4

sounds like a lot of drama to me. If you really love this girl then you need to talk to her right away and find out for sure if she is being straight with you. The last thing you want is to get your heart broken. At the same time you are supposed to trust your g/f but since it seems as though she gives you reason not to I would definitely talk to her. Be honest about your worries and concerns and pay great attention as to how she responds to your questions. You can usually tell if a person is lying especially if you know them pretty well. Follow your heart. That is the key. Good luck!

Answer 5

Some people does not have an understanding of that honesty is the best coverage. However have you ever concept about him not telling you he certainly was looking to safeguard you from being hurt, aggravated, or upset, exceptionally with him. It sounds to me that you simply ought to be in contact with him extra and he'll now not think the must hide something. Why did he think like he had to disguise it from the primary place? Do you argue with him about silly problems and no longer hearken to him? Might be you should reconsider your method of reasoning or some thing. A part of your predicament is you lacking trust. In case you didn't se some thing don't fear about it. You're making yourself and him depressing.Excellent luck to your relationship!

Answer 6

well she may have been scarred to tell you that on a girls night out she was going to quickly meet up with her ex honestly i think you would have had plenty to say about it but my personal view is i would have told my husband that i was going to be bumping into an ex as i would have nothing to hind and i hope and know that the fact that i told him would ease his mind a little knowing i had nothing to hide by telling him if i never i would def tell him afterwards the fact she never did ether and you found out by looking at her fone (bad boy by the way) i would think there might be more than just keys the fact that you looked in her fone ant that you are here asking this question says you never have or never will trust her end it now or seriously work o0n your trust issues but with a untruthfull partner that will be hard sorry hun good luck

Answer 7

im going through the same thing but im in a long distance rel,i felt something wasnt right and questioned him which he denied so i went through his fone and found flirtasious messages,he swears blind the girls are just mates and he'd even get the to talk to me which would look great,id look like a physco,i guess i you care for this person the only thing you can do is to trust them and let them know that,if she carrys on and doesnt change then address it again and put your foot down...

Answer 8

for her to come home at 9 maybe the party was just a ploy for her to take the car keys up to her ex and get back to you in case you kicked up a fuss, you haven't mentioned if your the jealous type or if you would have told her to tell her ex to get his **** down to Edinburgh to get the keys him self, I'd leave it this time but if she ever goes through to falkirk again maybe that'll be the time to worry

Answer 9

not meaning to worry you but if i was you i would be suspious aswell i mean a relationship is meant to be built on trust and if she has lied to you already a couple of times in three & a half months then what does the future hold. It is ok for her to go out herself but if its innocent then why the need to lie. If i ever have insecurities then i always mention them to my man even if they cause bother as i have to be honest with everything including my feelings rather than building them up and them getting worse. don't get me wrong i posted my own message about problem with partner but i do speak to him about them first. you should air your feelings to. in my opinion no trust no relationship.

Answer 10

Hmmm dodgy, get rid before it gets too difficult...

She may be completely innocent, but the fact that you felt the need to go through her phone shows you don't trust her, and if you don't trust her what's the point?

What gives you the right to go through her phone anyway? Why should she trust you?