does the middle child suffer?

Question

i have a beautiful home a great boyfriend who has an excellent job and 2 beautiful daugthers age 6 and 1 but id love another baby girl the thing is im worried my 1 year old will suffer as she is a real mammys girl ive been told middle children dont do as well as first borns. is there such a thing as middle child syndrome i love both my kids very much and even though id love another baby i wouldnt have any more if i thought either of my babies would suffer.

Answer 1

I don't agree Julia with the middle child theory.....

I am 1 of 5 and think that if you have a great mum and dad all the children will be rared with the same amount of love affection and guidance......

You sound like a good loving mum - if you want more babies it's your choice don't buy into this!

Answer 2

I have 4 kids and personally feel it's how you raise them, not their placement in the family. My 2nd child is highly intelligent, able, confident, and wonderful. My 3rd child is a little different personality wise but very intelligent, funny, a little less confident but a great girl.

However, I was the middle child in a family of a sister 6 yrs older than me and twins younger than me. That was awful. I always felt my sister was "so great" because she was the oldest and the twins were "the babies" and never could do wrong. However, I did grow up in a very dysfunctional home, so I think that had more to do with it.

I would never not have another child for that reason. If God places on my heart the desire for more children, I would go for it. The only thing I'd suggest is for you is getting married first. You will want a stable commitment for your children before you add another in. Having 2 isn't the same as having 3. Stress levels go up, things do cost more, esp if you have two in diapers. There are other costs, too like extra daycare costs, if you pay them and others.

Answer 3

Lol i am a middle child i suffered! its not jsut from parents its the oldest always reachs the goalposts first like first day of school etc etc and everyone makes a big fuss when it comes to the "middle" child its nothing new but when the last child goes and has her first all a big fuss again as its the last child, once the goal posts are over though it gets easier, i mean im 20 now and it doesnt phase me anymore but i can remember being a right jelous cow growing up! jsut be patient trust me i turned out ok it will be alrite in the end! On the plus side the middle child in some ways turns out the best as they learn to share and be more compassionate and considerate of others as they have had to grow up with it! it will be fine trust me and you have a nice age gap aswell like me and my sisters 5 years between me and my older sister and a year between me and my younger, my older sister i could turn to for guidence and advice and it gave me time to have my milestones in life and my little sister became my best friend as we have such a little age gap, i wont lie to you though growing up it will be hard, but me as a middle child wouldnt have it any other way.

Answer 4

As long as you make sure that you are available to each of your children when they need you then none of them need suffer. I have friends with six kids and I asked the kids recently what they thought of being in such a large family. It was unanimous. They loved it. There were a few complaints, but they were minor ones and said with laughter. Have another child. Don't put it off if it is something you might regret later. You could do your family more harm if the regrets build up into resentment and prey on you.

Answer 5

My middle child is my only son so that makes him different from the 2 girls to start with.
On the other hand I was the youngest of 3 girls and don't know what I looked like as a baby as there are no photos of me - whilst there are more of my 2 sisters.
My oldest sister and myself opted for getting married, having children etc, whilst my middle sister is not married and very much a career woman - has lived in Australia, U. S., London and now back to Australia, ownes about 4 properties in Sydney that she rents out.

Answer 6

I have been the youngest, then the middle when my sister was born, and then the oldest when my brother died.
As a middle child I did not suffer in any way at all, or get left out. My sister is 8 years younger than me, so it could easily have happened, because she was the baby.
Go ahead and have another child and enjoy all 3.

Answer 7

Don't believe any of that crap. I am a middle child and actually, I have an IQ of 133 right now. I did very well in school and at home. Sometimes I wonder about the people who do these studies..... Don't let some words on a page prevent you from having the experience of another child. You can't love one more than the others. I'm sure right now someone's doing a study on oldest child syndrome or last child syndrome. I'm also sure our tax dollars are funding it all.

Answer 8

I think it depends on the parents. I only had and older sister and I think I got it hard sometimes. As I am 6 years younger than my sister everything that went wrong or got broken was my fault, even if it wasn't.

I would have loved to be a middle child though. You get the best of both, being able to grow up with a younger and older sibling.

Answer 9

I'm a middle child, but I'm also the only boy of three kids so I think that effects things as well. I don't feel that I've been disadvantaged at all by being in the middle. It's all down to the parents, so if you decide you can share your love equally between the kids then go for it!!

Answer 10

I think there is a lot worse a child could go through than being the middle child!
It benefits children to have siblings and I'm sure your middle daughter will be glad of the company and someone to play with as she grows up because your eldest is a lot older and won't want to play with her all the time.