I am a hermit. Someone told me that most people see their friends every day. I see my friends every month or so. I move around a lot, so when I take a class or volunteer and I make a friend, I find myself not really wanting to call them. I avoid their calls. In fact, I just hate picking up the phone.
But I was told this isn't normal? Do you think I should change? I never thought it was a problem, but I am getting older and I am not very close to my friends. I am beginning to wonder if there is something wrong with me that I don't have any very close friendships.
What can I do to create more intimacy with my friends and with other people? Btw I am able to have close friendships. I am married and very close to my husband.
Thanks.
2007-02-22 00:01:08 · 8 answers · asked by wcarolinew 2 in Health ➔ Mental Health
Your last two sentences told a lot.
Many people who are married let go of close friendships because of their romantic realtionship to their spouse. Still, to be truthful, that relationship is a priority over friendships, but that doesn't mean you should be completely devoid of close friends.
We all have acquaintances and casual friends -- and they are VERY important to our social support system. However, we also need a few close friends, especially during times of great trouble or stress in our lives.
Start with your casual friendships already in place. Who there would you like to be closer too? Invite them over. See if they want to do things with you and you alone -- not your husband.
Cultivate your friendships with cards, telephone calls to them during times of stress in their lives, and by doing other good deeds for them.
What I want you to do too is to get on amazon.com and type in friendships and women for keywords. See if there is a book or two there that might help you. Could it be found at your local library?
I hope this helps you. I am a man (and we men have our own set of friendship issues), but perhaps some of what I just wrote will help you and other women too.
Good luck now, dear.
2007-02-22 03:33:11 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am very much like you and I think this is normal. Just answer people every so often and if you don't want to talk any longer say you gotta go pee. I find that sometimes after I pick up the phone is when I want to talk.
Don't be afraid to go out either... I hardly go anywhere or do anything but you can go see a movie with a couple of friends every so often...
Hope I helped... I don't actually do these things but I am sure they will help you.
2007-02-22 00:07:11 · answer #2 · answered by ◄☯♫ vanitee of vanitees ♫☯► 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing like a girlfriend to share little secrets with. Maybe you just haven't meant that special friend or have you scared her away. Try being more open when you are out with some of the ladies.They need to know that you want to be friends. Good luck!
2007-02-22 00:14:42 · answer #3 · answered by snowflake 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In Any Healthy Friendships there are times of Space and Solitude!
People should just accept you for who and what you are!(Without Conditions on that friendship).
Personally I spend many months without any communication from 'Friends'(And that's just fine!!).
My Partner is My Best friend and Confidant!!
2007-02-22 00:06:02 · answer #4 · answered by J. Charles 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you avoid your friends they will cease to be your friends. Only you can decide if this is a problem. Most people enjoy being with their friends and want to spend time with them
2007-02-22 00:08:26 · answer #5 · answered by jonnyraven 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to call your friends or just answer their calls. it is o.k. to be close to your husband but trust me you need that close friend that you can bond with ,having a best friends besides you husband is great.try it and see... good luck
2007-02-22 00:06:34 · answer #6 · answered by tonygirl20 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello there...........................
Well, as long as I know, God didn't create us, human being, to be alone, to be arrogant, to be selfish, peculiar, or self-centered.
We, as destined, as written in Bible, represented by Adam & Eve, are to live altogether nicely, in a peaceful atmosphere, as supposed.
So, all of us should be friends to one another, should be getting along.
My advice is : Go on starting your bestest life with the ones that you actually care much, you love much.
Trust me, it's better, way better to live together !!
2007-02-22 00:10:21 · answer #7 · answered by Evo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just try 2 socialise and meet up new ppl. After all, man is a social animal.
2007-02-22 00:27:47 · answer #8 · answered by Pradosh M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋