My girlfriend recently killed herself. It was sudden, and there were no warnings that I could see. She wasn't depressed, she got along fine with me, her friends, her family. She was very successful at school and work. I just can't understand why she did it, and my life is incomplete without her. Losing her makes me horrible, but the fact that she did it to herself makes me feel worse. We were engaged and always talked about the future. She told me if anything happened to her, she'd want me to move on and find somebody else, but I highly doubt I'll be able to (or want to) do that.
2007-02-21 23:01:09 · 17 answers · asked by Michael M 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Seek a professiomal counselor, Michael. This can become a serious issue in your future chances for happiness and it has the potential to be very dammaging to you even now.
Don't wait. Get help - you deserve it.
[][][] r u randy? [][][]
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2007-02-21 23:10:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
first i want to say that i am truly sorry for your loss...it's never easy especially when it is unexpected....even though there were no warning signs that may have been her warning sign.....some people can't find a way to release all the stress or pain they have inside so they never do, they make themselves appear to look and feel fine all the time....they act like nothin is wrong even in situations where a reaction is expected....they don't want anyone else to see them in pain because they feel some sort or shame or embarrassment or some sort as though it is their fault or something....they become so stressed by trying to appear okay it just adds one more thing that hurts more and more everyday....it is almost like they try to lie to themselves so much they believe it....if they look ok and act ok everyday all the time then someday then will be ok....there's nothing that will make this easier on you only time can ease it...but it will never fully heal...she told you to move on and find someone else because she wants you to be happy she doesn't want you to be unhappy the rest of your life because that is why she ended her own....you probablly won't be able to for a very long time and when/if you ever do it will be really weird at first but you just because you move on doesn't mean you don't still love her...she will always be part of you and even if you are with someone else they will never replace her in your heart.....stay strong and keep your head up...whatever was hurting her is gone and she is watching over you right now with a smile on her face....
2007-02-21 23:14:44 · answer #2 · answered by Amy Hizzle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Suicide is probably the hardest death for a family to deal with but to move on is absolutely essential for your mental health and well being. You have to live in the future the past is gone. Would you be able to move on if had been an accident? Of couse you would... the future is still yours and you need make goals.
If you feel you need counseling then do so. You might be able to counsel with priest, minister or rabbi rather than a normal shrink who costs a lot of money and is not always covered by insurance.
2007-02-21 23:07:03 · answer #3 · answered by Tapestry6 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I will first tell you that I am 65, not 20 so I have lived quite a while so far. I cared for 3 dying parents and am now working on their family histories.
I have learned from all of the ancestors that I have come in contact with (on paper) is that we are all living just a spot in time.
We are history in the making, and what happens to others or others do to themselves (aside from the loss we feel) has very little to do with us.
We just happen to be living in the same time and space as they were.
You cannot know what was going on inside of her head that made her choose to take her own life. She could have been suffering from Thyroid Problems or Hormonal Problems, they both have depression as symptoms. Depression is not always obvious to those around the person.
It may take months, before you can forgive yourself for what you
feel you could or couldn't have done. Say it out loud. Ask God to forgive you. He will lift the pain and you will be able to go on with your life. As you can tell I have been there and done that. It took 14 months before I could forgive myself and say goodbye to my Mother, my guilt was because I wasn't there when she got sick.
I know right now it doesn't seem like you will get through it, but you will, slowly. In time you will look to the future again. But give yourself time and do not be hard on yourself. You must grieve the time you need.
God Bless and My heart is with you in your pain.
2007-02-21 23:22:00 · answer #4 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yo man, this sounds like it could be murder. I would recommend calling Scooby-Doo and the Mystery Gang to help solve the case.
On a more serious note, the past is the past, the present is the past, the future is the present, the future is the future. Live for tomorow, not today, and try and move on from what happened. More than likely, there was nothing you could have done, so don't blame yourself. You can grieve for a little bit, but you really do need to move on, no matter how bad you feel.
2007-02-21 23:11:36 · answer #5 · answered by theinfamous_eric 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
It is normal to grieve and feel upset over what happened. It is only human to feel sad about it, much more since it was sudden - you weren't able to bid goodbye. But don't allow guilt to paralyze your life. Guilt is part of the grieving process when someone you love dies.
Talk to professional counsellors, a spiritual leader, friends, family and even strangers about how you feel, it is the best and cheapest therapy.
Time heals, i hope you cope with this.
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2007-02-21 23:15:44 · answer #6 · answered by Beanie.beanie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a tragic situation. It is such a traumatic thing for
you to have to deal with and i don't feel equipped to give you any answers. Are you seeing a counsellor or therapist? I hope so. Please get some help from a professional about this. This is a tragedy that most people will never have to deal with and my heart goes right out to you and wishes you get all the support and help you need to get through this.
2007-02-21 23:24:07 · answer #7 · answered by Auntie Annie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow...that's awful. I am sorry for your loss. Most likely she did suffer from depression, but quietly, so nobody would know. Some people are good at hiding it. I sympathize for you and someday....maybe not soon....you will find someone that will take your breath away. Try going to grief counseling in the meantime...being around those who have lost love ones as well will help. (They may even have special support groups for suicide.)
2007-02-21 23:11:58 · answer #8 · answered by ♥Mommy to 3 year old Jacob and baby on the way♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Michael, the suicide was not about you. A person who does this had dark demons that they were battling inside. She did give you a sign..by telling you that if anything happens to her she'd want you to go on and find someone new. You need to talk to someone, a therapist or join a support group because you are not alone.
2007-02-21 23:06:00 · answer #9 · answered by Lisa D 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Get her to observe Archie's very last mission. it truly is a movie about a boy who needs to dedicate suicide on digital camera as a college mission. It replaced my suicidal options. Suicide hurts everybody round you. pals, relations, your significant different. She has so a lot extra to stay for. Suicide is an eternal answer to a short-time period problem. tell her that. I have low self-worth and that i had an quite hard formative years as well as being overweight. I have suicidal options on occasion yet I merely imagine to myself 'that is going to purely get extra useful' and it does. supply her something worth residing for. Love. And encourage her to sense free. tell her she's suited primary because she is. you at the on the spot are not being egocentric in any respect. you're merely searching for her and worryingly like you would possibly want to. Elecktra x
2016-10-17 08:31:02 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋