I need help?

Question

i am so messed up i dont want to live i have been thinking i want to die and the past three nights i have been close to doing it i cut all my arms again and everytime i go to the doctors they dont help they just give me tablets to take.



i dont love my partner or baby i used to but now i just tollerate them i feel like a robot doing everything i havent got any feeling or emotions towards my baby and partner and this is makeing me feel 100 times worse i should love them why dont i ?


i do everything for my son and would never hurt him i just cant understand i just want to go i dont want to be here

my son is nearly two i am so fuc..d up

hi everyone thank you for your help i went to the doctors and been giving medication and am starting to see a counsilar i feel better already and i do love my little boy he is my life

Answer 1

There are lots of resources available to people who are feeling suicidal. If you think that it might help to talk, you can contact the Samaritans on 0845 790 9090. http://www.samaritans.org.uk/

There is lots of advice and information about suicide at: http://www.supportline.org.uk/problems/suicide.php

If you are a new mother, you could be suffering from post natal depression. You should talk to your doctor - this doesn't make you a bad mother - it is an illness.
There is more information about Post Natal depression at:
http://www.mind.org.uk/Information/Booklets/Understanding/Understanding+postnatal+depression.htm

Veritee's Post Natal Illness website has lots of advice and support:
http://www.pni.org.uk/

There is lots of information and links to other resources for women suffering from Post Natal Depression here:
http://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/mentalhealthinformation/mentalhealthproblems/postnatalmentalhealth/postnataldepression.aspx

Also, the Cry-Sis Helpline is on 08451 228 669 or at http://www.cry-sis.org.uk
This helpline is for parents or carers of excessively crying, sleepless and demanding babies. Offers a listening service and suggestions about how to calm a baby, help it sleep better and generally help parents to cope. Does not give medical advice.

If you feel at risk of harming yourself again, you can go to Accident & Emergency - they have staff on duty who will be able to help you.

You do not have to cope alone, if you want to talk to some pick up the phone. Best wishes x

Just seen your edit:
It may not be Post Natal Depression, but you do have symptoms of depression. There is lots of advice at: http://www.supportline.org.uk/problems/depression.php#
You would be best to ask your doctor for a referal to someone who can help - counselling or congnitive behvaioural therapy can really help. Please don't give up, keep asking for the help you need. If you aren't happy with your doctor, see another doctor. x

Answer 2

I know exactly where your coming from i have a 2 and a half year old and 1 year old and am doing same as you. You definitely need to speak to someone. my health visitor has been really supportive for me. You've done the main thing and that is admitting theres a problem now you need to deal with it. I s there anything else in your life that might have made you feel this way. my probs are made worse by my living situation. have there been any new changes in your life, i too have been told by many to take tablets but my health visitor is supportive of me not wanting to and she is doing her best to sort out any probs she can to elievate some of my stress and depression. Are u able to speak to your partner or any family/ friends. is there anyone you think might at least be a listiening ear.

Answer 3

You poor poor thing, my sister was the same after the birth of her first child. She felt there was nothing to live for. You need to go to the doctors and ask for a female doctor or even the practice nurse, and tell them you are not leaving until they have helped you. Also confide in your partner if you can or a family member or friend. My sister is now the happy mother of two beautiful children and is looking forward to a long happy healthy life. Depression is an illness, demand help. Good look.

Answer 4

listen honey i can't understand what u r going through, but i can empathise with you. I am a grandmother, my daughter had severe postnatal depression with her first son who is now 5 and again with her baby daughter who is now 8wks old. she has self harmed and at times she feels she cannot cope. the only thing i can offer is keep talking to those loved ones around u (the understanding/sympathetic ones) trust and let someone in on what turmoil u r feeling, go to your GP and ask for a referral to the mental health team. B 4 you scream u r not mad it's just a service that can open other doors to support that you could tap into. as for cutting your self next time you get that urge try and hold tightly onto ice cubes. not wanting to live, that would be some legacy to leave behind for your children to deal with. and what a waste once you're dead your dead, and it doesn't resolve a thing.

Answer 5

Please speak to someone seriously. You must feel right now in a bad place but honestly you can get better.
I cant believe a doctor knows your situation and has not do more to help.
Its obvious you are severly depressed but you are experiencing very negative thoughts which are causing you to self-harm.
Dont go on any longer feeling this way and if necessary go A and E and dont come until you have seen someone.
Speak to anyone can that help.
It will get better although right now it does not look that way.
Get help and one day you will be happy and content enjoying your life with your family.

Answer 6

What are the tablets? Why are you reluctant to take them? It really sounds like you MIGHT have some kind of depressive problem, and medication MIGHT help. if you are unhappy with your doctor, CHANGE doctors, get some one who will listen to you, tablets might not be a long term answer, but maybe take them for a while, and get some therapy too. It WILL get better IF you get some help.
Do not feel bad for needing help, and do accept the help you get offered.
Also try and do one thing every day that you really ENJOY
Good luck

Answer 7

Could it be post pardum depression? I see the doctor gives you tablets to take. Is that what it's for? Do you take them? Do they make things better or Worse? If they make it worse you need to talk to your doctor so he can try something else. Does your insurance cover psychatry. That might be a good thing to try, along with medicine for post pardum depression-- if that's what you have.

Have you been getting enough sleep or any alone mommy time or time to go out with friends? Perhaps your partner could take care of the baby for a weekend, while you go have some time off with some close friends.

Answer 8

You clearly need urgent help. Go back to your GP who may admit you to a psychiatric unit for assessment.
I am so sorry you are feeling this way. I am sure with the right help and support you will eventually feel better and want to live and face each day.
Tell your GP that you feel the tablets are not working.
I am sure your son and partner would be devastated if you took your life. Please get help.
Also phone NHS direct for further help NOW

Answer 9

Honey, I'm so sorry for the way you are feeling right now. Having suffered from depression myself, what you are describing sounds exactly like I felt when I was depressed - I felt detatched from everyone and everything and couldn't feel any emotion at all. You are not alone, please go and see your GP and describe how you are feeling, there is so much help available and you will soon be feeling like your normal self again. Your doctor will not judge you for the way you are feeling, he / she is there to help you. Depression is an illness and it is not your fault you feel like this. I wish you all the best for the future. If you want to talk to anyone, feel free to email me.

Answer 10

well, why are you thinking this way? What has happened to you that is making you want to kill your self? You need to take a step back and ask your self what is the problem. You sound like you should probaly get some help. I think that right now you are just in a slump and you need to relax. You can also try things like going to see a shrink, or try yoga. and remember, Life loves those who love life.