everyone's had bad relationships right? i was in one for 1.5 years, but never really felt loved cos he told me maybe twice that he loved me. i think now that i realise that, my heart is taking more time to heal. he was my partner a year ago, but have still had something for him for over a year now. we have such an amazing physical attraction. i meet other guys, but no-one is ever good enough. i don't compare them to my ex, but i guess i don't have that trust. i'm scared i'm going to get heart-broken again. but i'm also really lonely and feeling really empty.
i'd never share my grief with anyone. i dont share my deep deep feelings often, actually, never.
any words of wisdom?
2007-02-21 22:33:08 · 7 answers · asked by Kate B 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Let it all go and start over.
Often you have to fail a few times to find true sucess. If you allow yourself the chance and stop putting too much pressure on each individual situation, you may even have a good time with the process.
2007-02-21 22:41:07 · answer #1 · answered by wscarpelli@sbcglobal.net 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, it's unfair to say that your boyfriend never really loved you. I was reading that there are 5 methods for how people display affection. Verbal, touch, gift giving, acts of service and quality time. Most people only do one or two of them... the way they feel most comfortable with. The problem here is that the person receiving may express themselves through different methods. For example if you are verbal, you probably like to tell your mate you love them many times over. That is how you express it and so therefore, that is how you think it should be received. But on the other end, your mate may show it through making quality time together. So your mate believes that love is shown. Communication is broken down here. Happens all the time.
Second, you can't let go because you don't think that person ever really loved you. It deep down bothers you. To the point where you want that persons love so bad because you felt like you never had it. It's that old saying, we always want what we can't have. In this case, I think that you just think he didn't love you... where instead it could have been a communication breakdown as I wrote above. But right now, what you are struggling with isn't how glorious he was, but more of how much you would feel better about yourself if you got his love. That is why you feel that you need it... to validate yourself.
2007-02-21 22:45:31 · answer #2 · answered by orange 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i felt that way my husband of 24 years died suddenly . i have been alone for 4 years it is hard totrust anyone out there now . do not just get back with him because you are lonely go out with friends or just go to the mall or different places and learn how to amuse yourself the longer you stay cooped up the worse it gets. try to tell yourself this is going to be a good day i will be happy no matter what.your heart will heal but the more you dwell the worse it will get. yes theree is a chance youll get your heart broke over and over and over again but if you can learn to take care of yourself and be confident that everything will be ok it will. mind over matter there are a lot of guys out here . ihavent found one i can trust i dont look though no chances for broken hearts that way, seems like it happens everytime you care they dont they care you dont, wise told me you have to make yourself happy first get a hobby anything you enjoy dont be second in a relationship and stick to your beliefs, be your own person. and that is why i prefer to stay alone, because i cant find anyone who is true.better alone in misery than being in misery with someone.
2007-02-21 22:57:09 · answer #3 · answered by freeflow 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have been Awarded, a Complete Graduate Study. In My Course, "Love 101". It's free! And it start, right now! We teach, our Students, that Love is suppose to come from the Heart. We learn that we offer Love from the Eyes? when some Guy, looks like Brad Pitt. We offer it, from our Heads? when we fear being alone. Or we give it, from our crotch? When we're lead to believe that we're suppose to give ourselves to someone. But Love! Real Love! Emotional Love! Is all about The heart. That Thumping, in your Chest? The Gut reaction, when someone just says your name. The emotions that we "SHOULD" feel? When we are in the presence of that certain someone. But, so many of us? Reach out, without as much as checking with the Old Ticker. And that is where the action, really is. You have to listen to Your Heart. You have to know that it wants you happy? And it can't survive if you are not! NOW? Our Students, only Graduate. When they Fall in Love. When can I Order your Diploma?
2007-02-21 22:48:08 · answer #4 · answered by Goggles 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand what you are feeling right now? I have been there in that state sometime. The best way to get over painful feelings is to have a good friend. Hang out as much as you can with her. Your girl friends are the ones who can help you through in getting over him.
Once you are ready, you will know. Just don't force yourself in to something because of loneliness.
2007-02-21 22:37:39 · answer #5 · answered by CG 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Alls I can say is good luck. I;ve been in that situation 5 years now and it's not waned a bit, so if you find the answer, for the love of god tell me!
2007-02-21 22:36:18 · answer #6 · answered by Funky B Funky 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Every body has bad relationships you just need to learn to trust and open up you re feelings with someone else
2007-02-21 22:37:16 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋