Am I still expected to buy a wedding gift?

Question

...If I am paying a lot for plane tickets to get to the wedding, and for my bridesmaid's dress and shoes, and have spent a lot of time organising hen's party etc?

Answer 1

I would buy a little something if i was you

Answer 2

You shouldn't be EXPECTED to buy a wedding gift but if you are close enough for the person to ask you to be bridesmaid it should be because you WANT to. If you didn't feel attached enough to be bridesmaid you should have refused graciously. I will say it amazes me hear postings saying bridesmaid's have had to pay for dress, shoes etc. In my neck of the wood if you ask someone to be bridesmaid, apart from maybe underwear everything is bought by the bride, if having make-up and hair done this is also paid by the bride and a gift is bought for the bridesmaid(s). Even at a very modest wedding this is done, hence the bride would probably not go OTT with costs and only have perhaps one bridesmaid. I imagine there must be sometimes the bridesmaid does pay or pay part of her attire but it would be with the bridesmaid offering and she and the bride agreeing. I would say this would perhaps happen more if the bridesmaid was realy close like a sister and money was tight. Shows how different other parts of the country/world are.

Answer 3

Personally I think that "expected" and "gift" should never exist in the same sentence. That's just wrong, to me.

I also think that if you are close enough to be in the wedding party that your friend wouldn't think twice if she didn't receive a gift too, and would cherish and be grateful for all the help you have given her.

But this is the real world. Just as with all gifts, what matters is what's from the heart, the gift doesn't have to be bought -- it can be made -- or assemble something unique like an assortment of handy dandys that don't cost a lot or Christmas ornaments that are unique and will bring memories every year. If the gift shows thought and heart a decent human being won't look at it and think "man that's cheap." Dollar amount does not equal quality and if you have time left to take a few deep breaths and relax and think I bet you can come up with something creative that won't break the bank.

Answer 4

Yes, sure.
And if you are doing all that, don't spoil your image by giving some 'cheap toater'.
If you are doing all this is because you can afford it, so open your pocket a bit more. In the end you will be pleased and they will be really happy and consider you as a blessing. If you spoil it, it will be seen as 'couldn't she give something better?' Remember that a cheap toater may work for some hours and then... Kaput. It hasn't to be an expensive gift, but nothing that you wouldn't buy yourself. Do you regret to have done all this?

I know what you mean. You were asked help and you invested more than you expected. You don't regret it coz it is your image, but you think you did much more than what they could have done without you...

Please be you until the end and next time just find an excuse not to help.

Answer 5

You should really still get them something. But why not do something special and cheap, like put some photos of them together in a nice plain frame or make a scrap book of memories from their relationship and planning the wedding. Its doesn't have to cost loads to means loads.

PS - I think she is a bit mean making you pay for the dress and shoes, but best not to reciprocate in kind, you'll look petty

Answer 6

We expect, or even want nothing from our guest. We are getting married abroad, and have 8 ushers, bridesmaids, flowersgirl, and page boy.... I'm sure your presence their would be most appreciated!

Most people are staying to a them a small gift, picture frame etc... but are they really going to use it...?! Do they even want it? I'm sure the fact that you are spending money, time and effort to contribute to there special day, would be enough... It would be a nice gesture, but not 'expected'..

Have a good time!

Answer 7

economic presents at weddings now a days are maximum person-friendly. presents are extra previous college at wedding ceremony receptions now. presents are left strictly for showers. despite the fact that, in spite of funds you're making contributions to this wedding ceremony must be seen present adequate. i'm getting married quickly and your son is a fortunate guy to have a lot help. My mothers and dads nor my finacees mothers and dads are coming close to to paying the completed wedding ceremony they are in simple terms helping the place they might. in the journey that your incredibly strapped for funds shop a pair hundred funds from what you're making plans on giving them to plot and throw it in a card on the reception. wish all is going properly.

Answer 8

i don't think so! if you're having to fly out etc, and have paid for your bm dress and shoes, i personally wouldnt expect a present from you! i don't know whether they are marrying abroad or you live somewhere different to them, but if they are marrying abroad then all the guests will have to pay for tickets/hotels etc and asking for a present as well would be quite rude in my opinion! and anyway, the bride and groom always get so many presents!

Answer 9

Wedding gifts should never ever be expected. If you are on a tight budget, give them a card. If you feel you NEED to give them a gift, you could always wait till after the wedding, or on their first anniversary.

Answer 10

If your that important that you are a bridesmade etc dont you want to buy a gift for a close friend???????

In the whole scale of things spending another £30 on a present is nothing, especially as you would more than likely get pis*sed and spend as much as you like without a batter of an eyelid at the reception so dont be so tight.... its only money, you dont have to buy them a car.

Answer 11

Yes you have buy a nice gift, show up and still look good for the wedding. The money for the expenses will come from your credit card or some where right you worried about paying later.
My judgment for asking that question is that you think that you are all ready doing too much for that wedding unfortunately if you started the little feast must well finished it right.