Scared of having a baby....Help??

Question

Me & hubby have decided its time we tried for a baby. Ive just turned 29 but dealing with the birth of a child and then being responsible for it for the rest of my life freaks me out so much!
Can i cope with pregnancy? Birth? caring for the child? dealing with what life throws at me? those little emergency panics that parents have when something happens to a child?
Did anyone else feel this way before having their child?

Answer 1

I did. Infact, I never planned on having children; never liked them much. But I got pregnant anyway, and was rather nervous about my suitability as a mother and how it would change my life - especially as I was young at the time.
The pregnancy wasn't a big thing, although the effects it has left on my body are a little disappointing - things like stretch marks are a part of pregnancy you're not likely to be able to fully avoid.
And the birth was something I stressed about... but they have drugs for it all, and should you be unable to handle it, they can deaden the sensation completely.
I was more worried about actually looking after the baby, but things fell right into place. The midwives and doctors were helpful and always willing to offer advice, and a natural instinct just kicks in. Looking after a child has its troubles, but a lot of it is just common sense.
And yes, you get extremely attached to them, enough to put their lives before your own, which is unfathomable until you actually experience that bond.
You will adjust, I'm sure. Then you won't know how you ever lived your life without a child; it seems so empty in comparison.

Answer 2

I had my first child at twenty. Surprisingly enough, at nearly 13 she isn't turning out too bad even with some of the comments I received at the time that I was too young. The main thing to remember is to use common sense. Obviously that isn't going to help all the time, but if you don't know the answer to something, ask someone who might. Parenting isn't all worries. When you have your baby sleeping contentedly in your arms just after you've fed them you can feel a great sense of peace. And I'm not just talking about the peace and quiet either. Being a mother is one of the most difficult jobs in the world and is 24/7. There is never a time when you are not a mother, even if you child isn't with you, because always in the back of your mind there is some part of you thinking of them. But having said that, it is also one of the most rewarding jobs in the world. One of my most rewarding moments as a mother would have to be when my daughter at around preschool age said she wanted to be just like me. There is no greater moment. And my daughter will still tell me she loves me after talking to me on her mobile phone when she is with her friends, even if they laugh at her for doing it. I wish you all the best with your baby and know that there are many people in the world, wether it is your mum, grandma, close friends, health care professionals, etc that all have some sort of experience that you will be able to draw on. The trick is to remember that you aren't an island. We can always learn by other people's experiences wether they are good or bad. There is also a large amount of books on pregnancy, childbirth and each developmental stage of your child. Some will be conflicting. It will be up to you to decide what best suits you and your family. And just because someone gives you advice and tells you how best to raise you child it does not mean you have to follow it. Over the years I have been given much advice, much of it unasked for, and I have listened with an open mind. Then gone my own way if the advice did not suit me. A child is a great responsibility and the fact that you are worrying over your ability to take care of your baby says a great deal about you. It says that you are keen to do the right thing and raise your child to the best of your ability. And that is all any of us can do.

Answer 3

Absolutely! Sometimes I still feel that way and I have 4 kids - the oldest is 10! The thing is, you will never be 100% ready to have a child - the responsibility is too overwhelming. That's why we need friends and family to help us to get through the tough times and calm us down when we're freaking out! You can do it. Sometimes you may not know how, but you will cope with all the ups and downs of parenthood if you really want to. It's worth every minute of hardship just to hold your child in your arms.

Answer 4

Yes it is normal!

Do you know that it doesnt all happen at once. Going through the pregnancy is the first step and that really prepares you for the birth and afterwards.

Go to antenatal class if you can and also speak with other mums. But you are definately old enough.

I was 26 when I had my first and let me tell you - responsiblity is not one of my strengths! I am not good at responsibility. But I have had two more children since then and I adore them. It is hard work but the most rewarding thing in the world. And the love you feel for your precious little bundle is something i cannot explain. You will be a natural - dont worry!!!

Good luck. My prayers are with you!

Answer 5

If you want a baby its the single most amazing thing that you can do on the face of the earth.. your own personal miracle and yes you will freak out a lot but you will also find you have super human strength and patience when it comes to your own child. That's why God gives us around 9 months to mentally and physically prepare!

Answer 6

i went through the same thing a copules of monts ago, and made a talk to few of my friend later i buyed a book on pregnancy and child care by nutan pandit i found the answer and the answer to your wories is leave everything on god he made your body so well programed that during the course of nine months it will gave you the feeling that you r bringing a llife on earth, so all the best dont worry, we are both sailing in the same boat good luck

Answer 7

I'm 24 weeks and STILL have these thoughts.
It's normal. You'll be fine. Try not to let it freak you out!

Answer 8

ya I guess. I think it's probably the first step. Than you get over it, if you really want it then you know you'll manage no matter what.

Answer 9

just don't think about it life seems much easier that way

Answer 10

yes and this is very normal...everything will change once u see its little face :) good luck!