Although I'm not engaged yet, my bf and I are seriously talking about it. He mentioned he wanted to have his ex girlfriend and best friend as a bridesmaid. I'm not friends with this girl at all, and hanging out with her sans my man is always super weird, there is definetly some tension there. I don't think I will enjoy my shower, bachlorette party etc as much if she is there. I want the day to be special for my bf too, should I suck it up and have her in the wedding?
2007-02-21 21:04:02 · 21 answers · asked by megs1bq 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Its ur day.....tell him that. U hav to choose ur side party. don't
compromise just to see him happy. think where ur happinesss lies.
2007-02-21 21:13:16 · answer #1 · answered by spice* with ice** 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
NO i really dont think it will be agood idea after all it gona be ur big day an if he has any respect for u he will understand that u dont feel comftable with it. Im due to get married this august and was in a similar situation. I didnt want a family member of his as a bridesmaid told him how i felt and he totally understood, he hadnt even realised it bothered me. Just tell him how u feel bout it
2007-02-22 06:31:58 · answer #2 · answered by Lolly 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely not that was very rude of him to suggest it.
Brides pick the wedding party not the grooms. It would be totally wrong to include his ex girlfriend in the wedding party.
She could be invited as a guest but if you have a small enough wedding that should only include close relations and she wouldn't be on that short list either.
I would have second thoughts with this guy, he seems to lack any courtesy or taste.
2007-02-22 05:08:45 · answer #3 · answered by Tapestry6 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't think I could do this, in the end he has to choose which is more important, having her there or marrying you. If she is not your friend then she really has no place in your bridal party. If you can face it then have her as a guest (you'd be a better woman that me if you could handle that) but I would draw the line at having her as your bridesmaid. And shouldn't YOU be honoured with being his best friend rather than her?
2007-02-22 09:09:37 · answer #4 · answered by sparkleythings_4you 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That's a little different, I wouldn't allow it, personally. Bridesmaids are YOUR choice, just like you have no say in who he chooses as his groomsmen. I'd have to be thinking less about wedding plans and more about what's going on with him and his ex - this tension that you speak of can't be good. Sounds as if maybe things aren't truly over with them. Good luck with that.
2007-02-22 09:34:43 · answer #5 · answered by Brandy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would have no problem with suggestions for bridesmaids from my fiance, and I would not think he was being disrespectful by giving out ideas for who to have on your side of the wedding party. However, if my fiance suggested someone who I am not comfortable with (like his ex girlfriend) I would have to say no.
He can throw out ideas, just like you can throw out ideas for groomsmen, but you have the final say in bridesmaids and he has the final say in groomsmen.
2007-02-22 08:21:54 · answer #6 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is your choice, and if you were friends with her then sure why not, if you had room, but if you don't have a friend on his side, family doesn't count, but yeah if you don't have just a friend on his side then don't invite her, this wedding is about both of you, but your wedding party is about people who are close to you and will treat you good, not about who your boyfriend wants included. Invite her to the wedding but no more.
2007-02-22 05:09:02 · answer #7 · answered by Hawaiisweetie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is your decision who your bride maids are, and no you do not have to suck up to her cause you owes her nothing. How would your bf feel when you wanted your x to be his best man. I do not think he would like that. Let the past be in the past, do not make it part of your future.
2007-02-22 05:09:28 · answer #8 · answered by Blacksabel 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no way.....your bridal party should be made up of people who you will enjoy having around for the day.....i would be concerned if my future hubby insisted on his ex to be part of the big day....plus you mention that there is tension when the 2 of them are together....are you sure he is over her completely or visa versa.....be weary
2007-02-22 05:08:21 · answer #9 · answered by askaway 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No f*cking way. It's your day too. He can have who ever he wants for his bestman but the brides maid should be someone YOU like, someone you want to share this memorable experience with. Choose a sister or a bestfriend. Whatever you do though, please have some respect for yourself and don't let someone do it who makes you feel uncomfortable.
2007-02-22 05:14:39 · answer #10 · answered by Peaches M 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
EW. Where are you from? And what is his deal? You can't have his ex in your wedding party? You can't even be friends really? That is some Jerry SPringer stuff.
2007-02-22 10:57:11 · answer #11 · answered by Mimi 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋