help please?

Question

i was in a long term relationship up until september which he ended and i ended up heart broken, i hoped we would get back together, but i know that his moved on and met someone else. i am moving on with my life and have met a few nice guys and they are very nice but i just can't seem to want a relationship with them now as my heart seems closed, and i end up treating them badly as i want to be left alone, i am not a horrible person and i feel bad because i treated them badly because they are nice but i seem to be on a short fuse since breaking up with my b/f. this is my first breakup from a long term relationship, so i just wondering is my feeling normal and how long will it last.

as i feel i am letting alot of good men slip through my fingers because i'm still healing.

real advice no smart comments please
Thanks

Answer 1

Well if you don't want smart comments you'll only get stupid ones

*heh just joking*

Anyways, how I interpret your question I would say you are not completely over your ex and really if you feel like your letting good men slip through then give yourself some time away from relationships...

Answer 2

It's a normal feeling dear and everybody passes through this. Nobody can tell you how long this will last because we're not all the same. Some stay in this situation for days, some for months and some for years. But at the end of the day you don't have to feel guilty of how you treated these nice guys because I think that they should understand your position and how are you feeling but on the other hand you have to do some effort so that you will stop feeling this way and start moving on with your life. Cause as you said now because of your feelings you are letting a lot of good men slip and you could end up that when you have healed you don't find a good and sincere man.

So take my advise try to do some efforts with your improvement so you don't hurt yourself in the future.

Hope this helps dear and Good Luck hun.

Answer 3

There is nothing wrong in giving yourself time. The important thing is you really have to be serious about getting over your ex boyfriend. Accept the truth that what's done is done and try to move on. If you don't feel like getting into any relationship now, then don't. Forcing yourself into any relationship when you are not really ready will fail you.

Broken heart can last very long if you are not trying to love yourself more. Be happy is an inside job. It will take some times before you can build your confidence back up again. Just remember that rain will not fall the whole year through. These things hurting you now too will pass.

Those good men you said you slip them through your fingers, they are not wasted. There're times for everything. The right one will come when the time is right.

Good luck.

Answer 4

It's natural to feel like this after a long term relationship breaks down, you can feel like you'll never love again. You shouldn't try to get involved with someone else until you have healed your heart properly, this isn't fair on either party. Some people heal faster than others and only you can decide if you are ready for another relationship. Leave it for a while and concentrate on your own feelings. If there are any blokes worth having some will still be there when you are ready. This is just from personal experience.

Answer 5

I think you're absolutely right, you are still healing. No one knows how long it will take, but I suggest you remove yourself from the dating scene temporarily. There's no reason to hurt decent people because you've been hurt. It's not fair, and you know that. There are obviously men out there who want to get to know you better, and they will be there when you come back to the dating scene.

Take a break for a while and seek some counselling about your ex. That was a heart breaker for you, and it sounds like you're still hurting. It's okay, in time you'll get over this, or at least learn to deal with it in a healthy way.

It's okay to not want a relationship right now, and that's a line I've used when men have approached me. "I'm not looking for a relationship, I'm staying single for a while". That might help you let go of these guys in a nice way so you don't hurt them.

Best of luck to you.

Answer 6

what u are feeling is normal. it is always hard to move on from a long term relationship. he has moved on but u still haven't. don't go out with anyone for a while. sort things out: cry, be angry, get it all out of ur system.
when u meet guys, just be yourself. remember, u will meet someone who will love u and u both have so much happiness. but u will never know if u don't let go of the past. give yourself a chance and don't rush into any new relationship. it will happen when u are ready, at the right time. good luck.

Answer 7

Time heals. The more you go looking for something, the more it will elude you. I think you need to open your heart to your surroundings, nature, and the friends that are closest to you, rather than waste all your emotions on people you barely know. Take some time out to fully appreciate what you already have, and you will gain the comfort your heart needs!
I have found that the world has a funny way of throwing things at us when we least expect it... look out for the small and seemingly in-significant co-incidences, and then ask yourself why the coincidence just occured!
It is definately normal to feel the way you do, but if you keep a positive attitude, things will only get better!
Keep out of the dating game for a while... you need some time for you!
Good luck, hope you can feel happy again soon!
Will

Answer 8

yes ur feelings are normal as u were a long time in this relationship ...dont push urself too hard to get over it , people are different , some can get over quicker some not ...deep love isnt something u can heal by going out and meeting other people ...this time will come for sure but now seems not the right time
dont try to get into a new relationship quick , yes meet people but just for friends , if the right one is under them u will feel it and ur heart will tell u to go on !!!

all the best for you x

Answer 9

You really need to give yourself time to get over the long term relationship. Don't worry about letting good guys pass through your fingertips..Why don't you just stay away from dating for a while and focus on yourself. Life does not dictate that you have to be in a relationship. Get involved in your school, or work (as I don't know how old you are) and just focus on your family and yourself for now...You will meet someone that makes you flip when you least expect it..

Answer 10

ok real advice, lets see.... well, you are still healing gal, time is the only thing that will heal you, cry if you have to, scream if it makes you feel better, go shopping do anything that makes you feel better. no one has ever died of a broken heart except depression of course.

you will get over it it's just time. my advise to you is that you should talk about it more often with people you trust so that you let it out.
don't be rude to the guys after you they are innocent and not all guys are bad. so just be nice to them if you feel like answering in a rude way just go away instead. you are still beautiful and very marketable. you will pull through and it will pass.
take care. gal power to you.