British culture???????

Question

im not English but my fiancee is British English, he goes to the pub every night after work and drinks bear,until his money runs out then he gets miserable and argumentative.Yet he want to have kids and is pushing me to have a baby saying that will stop him from going to the pub every night. He claims this is the Britsh culture and i should accept it and deal with it. Is this really a culture or my man is alcoholic.

Answer 1

It can be part of British culture to enjoy going to the pub for a drink, but it is certainly not part of British culture to drink until the money runs out, get miserable and argumentative. This are the traits of an alcoholic and a selfish pig. Ditch him and find a real British or other man who will treat you with the respect and love that you deserve! I wish you all the best! :o)

Answer 2

This is not British culture and I certainly would not be with a man who goes straight to the pub every night from work and drinks until he runs out of money.

I would not even consider of having children with this sort of man, children need a loving and caring environment to grow up in and they can be quite demanding when they are young (in a good way).

If he can't keep out of the pub now and spend time with you now, then he certainly is not going to change if you have a child together.

My advice is talk to him and explain that he needs to spend more time with you now and that if you are going to have children sometime in the future then you need to start saving money not spending it. Try and explain what a huge commitment having a child is.

If he is not willing to listen then I would say its time to call time on the relationship - you don't want to end up looking after a child alone while he still spends every evening down the pub.

Answer 3

Drinking in the local pub is a common pastime in England. It is almost the second living room for some Brits. But more often, it is a quick pint after work before coming home or a couple of pints with their better half and friends after dinner. Sounds like he has a drinking problem and especially if you rarely join him. If you don't mind raising kids while dad is in the pub every night, all night then go ahead but I would be expecting more from him.

Answer 4

I think he may have a drink problem if he goes every night until his money runs out. This is not british culture although unfortunately a lot of british men think that it is the case.

I wouldnt bring a child into the world until he has sorted out his problem, not after.

Answer 5

He sounds like an idiot, it's nothing to do with English culture. Culture is about art, manners and the behaviour of social groups. Typical English culture is not about drinking and bullying. I wouldn't accept this for a minute - move on.

Answer 6

He is blaming his problems on others for something thats entirely his fault its an easy excuse to not exept your problems and throw the blame as he is doing . Even if it is British culture then he is just being a sheep and following every one else . I guess he is still acting like a boy because seriously thats stupid i would advise you to not belive him about the kid will make him stop it wont .

Answer 7

I'd say he was an alcoholic. I used to be like that when I was drinking. Now I'm not. British culture? Yes, probably. We're a nation of alkies, yes.

Answer 8

i think he has a problem and alcohol may just be a way to suppress his feelings yes many people all over the world drink after work but not to the extent that he is having a baby right now is not a good idea you need to sit him down tell him how you feel show him you love and care about him hopefully he will open up to you if he fails to open up you really need to consider counciling good luck

Answer 9

To me, it's both...but, hon, you don't want to marry a guy like this..and feel miserable.and have a baby too!

Please hear all that I am saying to you...I have had one alcoholic boyfriend..and three alcoholic apartment mates.(one was my alcoholic boyfriend).and NONE of them were ever gonna stop drinking...one of them,not my ex, just an apartment mate, was from Scotland..and he would drink huge bottles of vodka straight!
He was beligerant and scary...and the ex-boyfriend who lived with me...he would drink at first one to two cans of beer, but, then it got to be more and more and more.,and he would get angry and very hairy/scary....for me!..My ex- would leave his keys in the front door, and the front door wide open at night..and all thru the night,(I didn't know) the front door was always open!
I had horrible ,horrible fights with my ex- when he was drunk..(those fights would last all night and early morning on...I hardly got any sleep, for my work!!!! There was a whole lotta door slamming..and my apartment manager and my neighbors were considering tossing me and him out..and or calling the cops on us, nearly every night!!! It was horrific! I NEVER want to go thru that again, in my life ever again!!!! .My whole life was soooo horrific...I know that I should have left...but, I stayed...I used to call the cops to get my ex to stop drinking..and to stop hurtin and harrassing me...also with my apartment mate as well...The other apartment mate was hardly ever at home and I didn't have to worry about him, at all. You do NOT want a baby to have to endure this scary behavior...this man has a huge drinking problem..and YOU cannot save him!!!! Please, don't end up with him...and also with a baby too.....I would rather know that you were spared...from that kind of lifestyle...I went thru so much...I cannot tell you enough! I even had to leave my apartment...because I couldn't sleep, and I never felt "safe"!!!!

I would go to work, and just "pretend" that my life was okay...but, I was semi-secretly in sooo much turmoil...I attended alcoholics anon...for family members...and the rage inside of me, would come out at those meetings...and the sobbing as well. I was sooo very unhappy! I wanted MY life BACK!! It took me a long time to heal...even now, I still feel a heck of a lot of rage towards people that drink like that..and think that it's "Cute", those people can go to Hell!! for all I care! (and the sad thing is I have had family members who were severe alcoholics....I luckily hardly drink alcohol that much...I love water, and soda, chai tea.. etc...thank God, I don't adore alcohol, like my ex did!!!!)

You won't be a happy person, if you continue down this road!
Please, please, hear me! I am deadly serious!
If he loved you, he wouldn't be an alcoholic abuser.....you deserve a man that doesn't abuse alcohol...this is sooo not a life for a "parent to be"!!!!It may be a European thing to go out and drink...but it is also an alcoholic that you are also dealing with! There is no excuse for you to have to put up with his irrational and addictive behavior...he has a addiction...you cannot cure it!!!!

Don't believe a damn word from his mouth!!! He's not telling you the whole truth.... Alcoholics are great at lying!! addicts are the same too!!!!!

take care....!