how do i get my boyfriend (who's also the father of my soon to be baby) to be less dependent on his mom, i mean it isnt scary mama's boy but he does try to defend everything she does and its getting to me, i think it's deviding us a bit to, like i can't really connect with him now because it's like she's in everything we do. his bills,our personal life,she tries to tell him what to do with his life ALLLLL the time...not just some of the time, she tries to tell him how to do everything, and when to do everything. she even tries to give him prescription medicine every night and i'm worried if this continues he's going to become dependent on the pills...what the heck is she tryin to do?
2007-02-21 19:35:56 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
also i think she over hears some of our conversations...(whch is not good) but my boyfriend acts lie he doesnt even care that all this is happening..
2007-02-21 19:38:48 · update #1
also we live with his mom it's only been a week since we moved in, we lved in our own apartment for awhile, she still called constantly to nag and tel him what to do. we moved into her place fo a bit to save up some money for a house
2007-02-21 19:47:47 · update #2
(jesse) i've changed for him in big ways, dont assume woman dont change fo men. if anything we are more willing to change then man is. so it's his turn to change.
2007-02-21 19:57:55 · update #3
LOL… the ONLY reason he’s changed is because he’s a momma’s boy and will always do whatever a female says.. Not that he’s changed,, cause there’s none of the Adult elements required to change !! He just goes along with whichever Dominate Female tells him to do.
Let me guess,, You are a dominant female ??
Left to his own devices he’ll likely not do well in the world without some female telling him what to do.
Best thing you can do is give him a choice, either his mommy or you. Get out of this mess now, either with him or without him. (depending on how he chooses..) Otherwise you and “MOMMY” will be having this power struggle until she dies.
2007-02-21 22:11:04 · answer #1 · answered by logicalanswer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
None of this is your imagination, it's all real. If he's really a mama's boy he'll never be independent of her until he is literally out of her house and beyond her control. As long as he is living with her and financially dependent on her she will control him to a large degree. You either accept it or move on. You can never change him no matter how badly you want to. You're competing with the person that brought him into this world. She's been around a lot longer than you. He'll only resent you for trying to change him because he's happy with the relationship he and his mother have. You're the outsider.
2007-02-21 19:44:30 · answer #2 · answered by Bonita Applebaum 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to go to have counselling both of you. You are obviously very youngand bringing a baby into the middle of all this is more stressful and not good. You may also need to have counselling with his mother as well because although there needs to be boundaries you seem to be very reliant on her for help.If he won't go to counselling you need to make other arrangements for you and the baby pronto. If you can organise somewhere else to live and a way to support yourself and the baby then do it and get legal advice NOW!. It will give him time to decide whether to stay with his mom or to get his act together and be the kind of father the baby needs.You need to decide for you and your baby as soon as possible but try counselling first.
2007-02-21 21:16:15 · answer #3 · answered by jacqui w 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know exectly how u feel i had the same problem with my other half but things didnt change until we had are little boy and she tried taking over with the baby as well. U just have to stick ur ground an tell him that things have to change as he is gona be a dad and the amazin thing is as soon as he became a dad things changed u wouldnt of eva thouhgt he was a mummas boy. Hold on an it will stop.
2016-05-23 22:24:14 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, it sounds like you are dating my brother. More than likely he's asking her to butt in and for help behind your back because his mom has done everything for him his whole life and he's half lazy and half scared he's gonna screw up.
Honestly, I wouldn't say anything yet until you have the baby. You don't want to shew away help you may need after the baby comes and since you aren't married you can't pull the but i'm your wife thing. You can talk to him but then he'll tell his mom. I'm sorry to say but it's more him than his mom. He has to put a stop to it; she's just not going to quit because this is what she's always done...right?
2007-02-21 19:49:23 · answer #5 · answered by GranolaGurl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well...the way I did it was pretty disrespectful but I'm telling you it worked like a charm and I don't regret it one bit....
he would always go to his mom everytime we'd have a fight and tell her everything about it, well one day his mom came up to me and asked me about the fight while he was right there and I said "yes we did get in a fight, but did he tell you about the ******** I gave him when we made up?" He's never went to his mother again about anything!
2007-02-21 19:41:48 · answer #6 · answered by oo_m_i_c_h_e_l_l_e_oo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how do women get the illusion that they can change us. the only way anyone will change anyone else is if they want to change. why don't women change to our needs?
2007-02-21 19:55:22 · answer #7 · answered by jesse james 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him a spank
2007-02-21 19:42:24 · answer #8 · answered by Veronica 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋