who never mentions the incident again in more than twenty years, Does it pay off to just not say anything about it , because it can change alot of people lives, not too mention hurt people that love her. The reason she kept her mouth shut is because she felt that it was her fault.
Additional Details
it only bothers her when she thinks , or is reminded of it by TV or someone speaking about child molestation , but otherwise she never thinks about it, and it totaly escapes her mind.
2007-02-21 19:18:46 · 19 answers · asked by Tellie 4 in Health ➔ Mental Health
noone should ever keep their mouths shut. talk about it with anyone. talk about with yourself, because when you talk about it, you take away from all that pain inside. try getting some help for her. and this isnt the only time this happen, there is always someone worse off than you. nothing is ever the persons fault when they go through something like that regardless. we cant sit here and blame ourselves from misfortune. im religious and i would just say pray about it, because i know it works. but everything may be said easier than done. no matter what you always would have someone one by your side.
2007-02-21 19:27:40 · answer #1 · answered by Key 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would guess that the nine year old girl was traumatized. The incident would have been foremost in her mind for quite some time and over the years, many circumstances would trigger the memory again. My own idea is that a child knows instinctively that when there has been such an unpleasant incident, the adults would prefer not to believe it, since it is so much less for them to deal with. Because adults don't like to deal with such ugliness, child abuse goes on and on with a tiny percentage of incidents being reported.
Life can be very ugly and unfair. sorry
2007-02-21 19:27:55 · answer #2 · answered by Susan M 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Totally escapes her mind - really?
Something really similar happened to me (I was 7) and it shaped my childhood.
It's been 12 years and I haven't told anyone or done anything about it though either, so...
Counseling? I'm not really sure - man, I would never bring it up with my cousin or relatives. I wonder what her relationship is with him these days.
What's he like now? Is he at all possibly a threat? My cousin was a lot closer to me in age, and I think that makes a pretty big difference - like, if he viewed her as an equal or as a little girl he could victimize. But maybe this all just my own guilt talking... sorry, guess I don't have any answers.
But, if it was me - I would let it lie. Well, unless I thought it was really criminal and the guy was evil inside and dangerous. Not that this is good advice - it's just what I have done.
Sorry about whoever this is. I'm really sorry if it's you - good luck.
2007-02-21 19:35:37 · answer #3 · answered by Cedar 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It WASN'T her fault.
But at 13, a lot of kids try things they have no idea what they even mean, nor are they trying to hurt someone intentionally.
That person should talk to someone, like a professional (therapist) if they feel traumatized, because it definitely wasn't their fault, but in some ways, it wasn't really the 13-yr-old's either. But yes, lives can be ruined, so that person should take care of herself, but be careful if that person cares about the others in her life, and if she thinks it was limited to the other person being young and not a problem now (meaning the boy isn't doing stuff now).
2007-02-21 19:32:39 · answer #4 · answered by T J 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a hard answer, but at age 13 he wasn't really an adult, and at present time may not remember the incident. you have to ask yourself is it about closure or revenge. You also might want to test the waters to see if he still remembers the incident. Would a heart felt apology from the person help heal the wounds a bit?
2007-02-21 19:28:33 · answer #5 · answered by orian76 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It happened to me when I was 11 and he was 15-16. Just like your experience, he was a relative. It continued for 4-5 years. I went to therapy and on meds but nothing worked. My parents weren't around that much and I didn't tell anyone about it because he threatened to kill me. I never actually talked about it until I went to therapy about 3-4 years ago. It took me a long time to open up and actually say what happened. I didn't like to talk about it. I always wished that part of my childhood would be erased from my brain so the pain would go away.
2007-02-21 20:04:26 · answer #6 · answered by Samantha 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ok listen the nine year old girl was you now your older feeling it is still your fault ok listen my brother and sister were molested by my grandfather before i was born ok well listen maybe you should see a phycologist or a priest not to be arrogent or rude but yeah forget about it if you keeps thinkg of it your only going to think about it for the rest of your life my siser was 2 yrs old she remembers it she is 17 yrs old now all she had to do was let it go no just last year my grandfather died of a heart attack now i know that it doesnt have anything to do with it but if you forget about it you wont be haunted by it ok
2007-02-21 19:53:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its great that she is able to put it behind her and out of her mind. It had to be a horrible experience.
But, as well as she has been able to deal with it... remember, there is someone out there that got away with rape. No repercussions, no penalty, no foul. Hope they don't think that means they could do it again, and get away with it again. I wouldn't want to be in a family like that.
No matter how long it has been... I'd tell the truth, and if those that love me... or him couldn't deal with it... there wasn't much love lost anyway.
No matter how long its been, it still on her mind, and the older she gets, I hope it doesn't start to manifest itself in self doubt, low self esteem, and incorrect behavior. She's suffering the after-effects. No matter how mild they might be now.
And he still got away with it.
2007-02-21 19:27:07 · answer #8 · answered by bakfanlin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She should seek a councilor. Seriously, the more she attempts to 'brush it under the carpet', the more it will eat at her. As she gets older it will only make it worse on her adult relationships.
She should address it within herself first. If she thinks it is her fault, then she is looking at it from a victim stand point. This is not good, she needs professional assistance!
2007-02-21 19:27:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-09-29 11:11:41 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋