There is someone very important to me who is unmedicated bipolar. Don't ask why he is unmedicated and don't lecture me on it, it is very complicated.
He quite often has extreme mood swings which cause him to be really sad, weak, and even mean. I won't give up on him though. I refuse to. He has lost enough people this way.
How do I let him know I am here for him? How do you deal with someone with bipolar disorder and let him know I care? I've been reassuring him that I am here for him, what else can I do? How the hell do I make him feel better?
Serious answers only, please.
2007-02-21 19:04:42 · 16 answers · asked by mica 3 in Health ➔ Mental Health
i agree with all that was said so far.
also i want to add that those with manic-depressive illness tend to be extreme drama queens blowing little things way out of proportion.
so if you say something to him and he "throws a fit" or makes you feel like crap for it just remember that what you said may not be as hurtful as he sees it so dont beat yourself up about it.
also let him know if he doesnt already (gently, always) that it is a progressive illness and though he may be content with his illness at the moment and decide that it is just part of his personality that it will only get worse.
and it wont stop getting worse unless he is on medication and stable.
2007-02-23 15:20:53 · answer #1 · answered by sh0rtyinb00ts 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Hi Mica. I am sorry to hear about your friend. I'm writing because I have some experience with bi-polar. I am a rapid cycling bi polar with psychotic features. I am also dangerous to myself and others if I'm unmedicated. My illness became much worse a few years ago (early 30's) and I realized that without medication I would probably end up dead or in jail in short order. It took a while to get the right meds at the right dosages, but I now lead a normal life.
I understand about med complications. My concern is for you. When someone is having extreme mood swings, they're not really in control. This means that everyone close to them feels the brunt of their illness. If you think your friend could be violent to you or to himself, you owe it to him and yourself to call a mental health professional. That said, I would just advise you to take good care of yourself, give yourself regular breaks, and set boundaries. As his friend, it is easy to fall into a caregiver role, and I strongly recommend you DON'T do this. It will make him dependent on you and eventually could lead to a co dependent situation.
Best of luck to you both.
2007-02-22 02:59:13 · answer #2 · answered by kim s 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋
He probably will never feel better until he gets help, but you can make things easier for him. When he goes into deep depressions, let him know that it is part of his illness and he will come out of it. When he has manic type episodes try to help him keep under control. Continually talk to him and don't show impatience even when you feel it. When he acts mean, just assure him that he is just feeling badly and that he will not chase you away from being his friend.
I won't lecture you about the medication because that is his decision to make. Just realize that you will not be able to completely make him feel better, so do your best and don't beat yourself up about what you cannot do.
He is lucky to have a friend like you.
2007-02-21 19:20:45 · answer #3 · answered by Patti C 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I am bipolar and I put off getting diagnosed for a long time due to the fact that I did not want to believe that anything was wrong with me. I think it is wonderful that you are continuing to support him. My boyfriend was the same way with me, and he has seen me through one of the most difficult times in my life. I am starting to get stabilized, but it takes time. I was given an ultimatium by him, my family and even my professors to get to a doctor. After hearing from so many people that I had a problem, I finally faced it. When I was told bipolar I freaked out and thought it was the end of my world. It is difficult to deal with and maybe your friend is afraid of failing or facing that he has a problem by continually being in denial. Educating yourself about the disorder will help you in helping him. I suggest gentle encouragement and persistance of getting him to seek help. If he does not, it WILL get out of control. Trust me on that one, I know!! I wish you the best of luck and I hope the links I post on here will help you. Blessings to you and your friend.
2007-02-23 04:39:57 · answer #4 · answered by Kristen Q 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Without medications, there is no way you can "make him feel better".
What you can do for him though is:
*first, stop telling him you ar there for him. Actions speak louder than words.
*try to direct his energies into something positive. If he's depressed, try taking him out to get a coffee or an ice cream or some other mellow activity that at least gets him thinking about something other than the depression - don't give him time to sulk because it'll make it worse. If he's manic, take him for a hike or go biking -any physical activity that he enjoys and will help with his agitation.
*Be patient and know that sometimes he's going to explode at you. Don't take it personal.
*Exercise is very good for a bipolar person, so if you can get him into an exercise class (karate, judo, or something) that would help.
2007-02-21 20:55:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
He really needs to get help. Not lecturing, just saying. I was told that someone who is bipolar and non medicated will most likely either commit suicide or could seriously harm someon close to them. My sister is an extreme bipolar, she would not get help, and has lost everything.
Unless he gets help, there is really nothing you can do. People who are bipolar, when they have an "episode", the emotional pain is so intense, there is really nothing anyone can do. Try to get him to get help. It will make a big difference.
2007-02-21 19:17:50 · answer #6 · answered by Rene 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
First of all; YOU can't " make him better ". It just isn't possible when he is non-compliant with the meds and therapy sessions.
If he is in denial, and continues to go untreated; he WILL GET WORSE as he gets older !
And he CAN be a danger to himself and others.
His going un-medicated is NOT complicated. He is NON-COMPLIANT with the doctors. Which is, in itself a sign of bi-polar; he may not BELIEVE he is sick.
How do I know ??? My 74 year old mother was just released from a locked psychiatric hospital today. She has been bipolar her entire life; and also in DEEP DENIAL. ( She says there's NOTHING wrong with HER.") The older she gets, the worse she has gotten.
Believe me; he WILL get worse without meds and other treatment. He IS capable of hurting you , himself and anyone else.
You may very well HAVE to cut him loose; and go on with your life; if he continues to refuse treatment. I KNOW how hard that is; as I have just made that decision in my own mothers' case.
I told her in front of her doctors; IF she follows treatments and takes her meds EXACTLY as prescribed; I will be there for her BUT--if she does NOT; I...AM...DONE.
That may sound cold & heartless; but I am almost 50 years old, with a medical heart problem of my own,....( that's set off by STRESS ! ) ....and I just can't....take....any....more. Even when it's my own mother.
It's going to be very hard to see her slip away; but I knew when I had to physically tackle her and take her to that hospital,...that I had lost her forever, one way or the other. Because I KNEW I had reached MY limit.
You need to draw " the line in the sand" and stick by it. PLEASE....do NOT waste YOUR entire life trying to help someone who doesn't WANT to be helped. This is one disorder that "wishing it will get better" WON'T work on.
2007-02-21 19:43:36 · answer #7 · answered by C S 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Conmtinue to encourage him. To tell hin he's not crazy and that he can be helped..
I have bipolar 1 also. You sound like you love this man very much.You can keep rerassuring him with your words. But whether you want to hear it or not, if you really loved him, you would let him know that he doesn't have to live through this hell. There is help. I'm not saying to nag at him. You can get some knowledge about bipolar yourself, that would help you know what to help him with.Knowledge really is power.
2007-02-21 19:12:32 · answer #8 · answered by Teresa t 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
i do not mean to be cruel and mean, but you are not supporting him, by being there for him all the time, and allowing him to continue to be sick. i know u don't want to hear this, but without mediation he will never get better. i know u are kind and supportive, but all your help could b e misunderstood, because some people with bi polar illness, can distort reality, and that makes it impossible to help someone. he needs a good dose of reality therapy, not some that supports his mental illness . just because a person is mentally ill, that does not mean they are stupid,. sounds like he has you under his thumb. don't think u are special, and do not want to leave that person, as the others did. if u care for this person, who will try to get the help they need. it will be much better for them and for you. it is very difficult to deal with some one who is bi polar, and when they are depressed, they can be suicidal. continuing this way is very dangerous for you and him. sorry about the lecture, i went through this with my brother, and lost him because of his illness. please try to get him the help he needs. c s has some good advice there is a old saying, you can lead a horse to water, but u cant make him drink. he has to help himself
2007-02-22 01:27:49 · answer #9 · answered by zeek 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
bi-polar and depression are a worldwide epidemic
the past 5 years have been the worst of my life
I was on the meds for awhile to balance myself out
I know there are huge side effects and long term dangers from the meds
look for natural remedies he can take
I get very moody, but I have kept my existence to a minimum
I don't feel it would be good to have any relationships because of my condition
bi-polar has taken away all the reasons i had for living a decent life
2007-02-21 19:20:17 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋