Im 24 turning to 25 this year. My parents are asking me to get married. I am studying, working my studies will be finishing soon, though its like that im feel so scard to marry. I dont know why. I am having a boyfriend we are together for 8years. But still i feel i need to continue my studies more higher like masters and PhD. Now feel like dont want to marry soon feel like its a big responsibility. what should i choose? continue my higher studies or get marry ?? confused...????
2007-02-21 19:00:54 · 25 answers · asked by Nurmi 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Thankx to all my frenz out there...i will follow what my heart says...I better fininsh up my studies and think about marrage...Will try to brain wash my parents at the same time... :) cheers to all
2007-02-21 19:57:09 · update #1
Surely your confused and its visible in what you wrote, "......so scared to marry. I don't know why." then you later say that, "But i feel i need to continue my studies more higher like masters and PHD."
Now first clear that confusion within you. Respect your fillings don't sit on them. When you think something is right for you DO IT, because you wont regret en you will even do it with your desire. DECIDE EN DO IT. PLEASE ACCEPT THAT YOU HAVE REACHED THAT MATURITY LEVEL EN LIVE IT. for example i have a Diploma in Computer Engineering but i chose to get married first. Am being introduced to my in-laws on 28 July en there after we get married. I chose it en am determined to do it. However i have the same plans of going back to school en am looking for scholarships all the earth only that they are so rare for africans. but am determined. My friends chose to study first en then get married. None of us is wrong as along as you do what you want to do.
So Shout out yo feelings properly when you need advise.
En its the only way your parent will understand you en have that belief that your mature even you are not due what you
But this is what i always consider.
1. Call a spade a spade.
2. Analyse all possibilities (Consider them or look at things as a third party not as someone involved in it for you will be biased)
3. Be open en allow in so many ideas such that you chose the best. Remember best advice doesnt necessalirlycome from best friends en relatives but usually from people how have lived it.
2007-02-21 20:14:17 · answer #1 · answered by christian 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why couldnt you continue your education after getting married? I mean .. I would think it would be easier to have someone at home waiting for you after a long day of work/study? Now.. hold on having kids.. those can come after the PHD/Masters etc..
However.. if you are asking is because you do not want to get married... 8 years of relationship is a long time.. Do not be forced into a marriage because you feel you owe this person for so many years together... if you do not feel this is the person for you.. move on and stop lingering.
2007-02-21 19:12:35 · answer #2 · answered by JeanMa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only reason I suggest is for you to continue your studies. It is because you know in your heart you're not ready to get married. It is your decision and if you feel uncomfortable about getting marry right now, I'm sure your boy friend or fiancee will understand!
Continue your studies, but even after you receive your PhD. If you still are uncomfortable about marriage talk the matter with your fiancee. It's going to hard to maintain a marriage and continue school especially sense your heart is not fully applied to take a vow under God.
I'm sure your parents means well, and I am not trying to get you to rebel against them. They must really love you and they are perhaps looking forward to grand kids. Talk to God...good luck
God Bless
2007-02-21 19:43:56 · answer #3 · answered by tony 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What does your parents have to do with getting married? Of course you shouldn't get married if you are having doubts and this sounds like the most unromantic wedding I've ever heard of. If you get married then you'll be expected to have kids, right? Definitely continue your studies but maybe consider a way to get a job so you can save money in case they cut you off and you need to support yourself, which would make you independant and free to make your own decisions.
2007-02-21 19:54:48 · answer #4 · answered by GranolaGurl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Finish your studies, without a doubt you must do that. You've already got a successful relationship, why change that now and marry, the time may not be right for you, far better to finish your education and marry when you are ready.
2007-02-21 22:52:05 · answer #5 · answered by sparkleythings_4you 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
God! you are still a young woman...why are they pressuring you?
I think that you should do what YOU want to do...ya know? I have known others who were pressured into getting married...one sibling is okay, while the other, is now divorced..and the marriage lasted only 2 to 3 years! My friend's sister has been married like for ten years or so!
I think that his mother pressured her two kids, so that they would have grandchildren...unfortunately, they both do not have kids, even now..and their mother died a few years ago of cancer!
You need to tell you parents what YOU want to do with YOUR life...because it IS YOUR LIFE!!!
2007-02-21 19:46:38 · answer #6 · answered by ladyk 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing stopping you from doing both, I am both a Spouse and a Student and I have no problems manageing it. However this isn't for everyone. If you feel you need more time take it. But understand that he may or may not wait. Discuss it with him and if he loves you he will support you and stand by you whatever you choose.
2007-02-21 19:10:11 · answer #7 · answered by nemsethcszardescu 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your studies are more important.If I were scared of getting married,then i would take it as a sign that things are not at that place with this particular person.There may be a better man out there for you in the near future.
2007-02-21 19:08:04 · answer #8 · answered by Frogmama2007 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
once you pay attention the term no balls, it has a various intending to each and each individual. No balls to three human beings means being scared to get harm, or do some thing bodily brave. To others it means being an avoider, averting conflict, or disagreement, or manipulating as a replace of confronting. maximum of my hardship in existence has come no longer from definitely being an avoider, yet from being a shy individual, and being seen as an avoider. i do no longer think human beings could discover extra guts, via fact no person, which incorporate me, has guts each and all of the time, on a daily basis. i'm basically a guy with a bad social distrust and soreness, and a few human beings see it as concern of disagreement, and as a individual, I care what they think of extra advantageous than I pretend to care approximately them.
2016-11-24 23:26:43 · answer #9 · answered by lukianov 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Congrats, you are 25 now. YOu have your choice ahead of you. It is Hard - I know. I am just 20 and my parents are talking about marriage. I just take my stand and totally refuse talking,when it comes to marriage. I suppose you have to tell your idea about marriage and if it doesn't work - Then take your stand. And remember don't make your stand look wrong. Good luck.
2007-02-21 19:17:08 · answer #10 · answered by Atace 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋