Why am I such an a**hole?

Question

I usually dont even notice while I'm doing it, but i really am an asshole. sometimes i like it, but sometimes i think i give people the wrong impression or make them feel bad. people have even called me narcissistic before. i cant help it! and we all know its true people who are assholes are the damaged ones..

Answer 1

A- hole is a state of mind. You decide if you want to be that way or not. Only you can fix it. You know when you are being a ****** because you said that sometimes you like it. You need to fix it because one of these days you will meet your match and when you do he might be a bigger ****** than you. Every body gets whats coming to them sooner or later.

Answer 2

You have pretty much described a young person in my family, but so far as I know, he has either never recognized it or never admitted it to himself, although more than one person has "told" him. He is in his mid 20's and has always been like that, but only some of time, of course and thank God.

He has always been a caring person, but socially awkward. At times, he cannot pull the plug on his own mouth. He goes on and on about whatever, or repeats a word or phrase long after everyone has asked him to stop, and he has said some really awful things. I really believe that for him, the basis is emotional insecurity, and it seems he was just born that way, although who knows...

He has been diagnosed over the years with one thing or another, I think the most consistant was ADHD.

But you are miles ahead of him, because you are "admitting" that you have a problem and you sound ready to try to beat it, or somehow ameliorate it. You don't give any examples, so it's hard to think of very specific suggestions, but I do have some: try to enlist the help of two or three truly close and trusted friends or family members. Tell them what you think your occasional problem is, and ask them what they think about it. And ask them to get your attention with a specific pre-arranged signal when they notice you are drifting into "a**holeness". This will tell you whether or not you are capable of stopping yourself in mid-act. If so, you can probably learn how to control your problem by looking for and using instant feedback, which can become more and more subtle as time goes by.

If you can't "stop yourself", then you will surely need some sort of professional help. The first step would be to find a good psychologist or therapist, who can help you to come to recognize and understand the likely basis of your problem. In other words, they can diagnose.

And lastly,although many people are deadset "against" psychiatric medication, I suspect that most of them would be willing to try to medicate whatever seriously or chronically ailed them. The fact is some people benefit so profoundly from appropriate medications, that it feels like magic or a miracle to them. I am sure that aspirin and antibiotics were once regarded that way.

Best of luck.

Answer 3

apparantly you must get something out of being that way.
only you decide how your act, or how your re-act to any given situation.
If being that way is just your way, then you will find that you will be alone for most of your life. unless of course, you can find your match, then she just may prove you to be the nice guy and she could be the" c" word. instead.
You must act that way to push people away or that is your way of hiding your insecurities in lettng anyone get close to you,
Most people that act in a neg. manner are really not that way for the most part,
but you hide that good side in you so well, that it is common ground to be an" a " hole.
you may not know how to act any other way.. someone somewhere has taught you to behave that way..
change the way you feel about things around you,
take a good look at the reason behind why you act this way, every time you do.. i
t may tell you how to make it better, or worse.
atleast your not a "p" word.