A friend (Annie) spoke to me about another friend (Donna). Donna had told Annie a secret, and asked her not to tell anyone. Annie told me, and we are unsure what to do now. Donna had confided in Annie that she was cutting herslef. She is going through a stressful time, and she cut her self to make her feel better. What are we to do? On one hand, we want to make sure Donna get help, on the other she will no longer trust or confide in us. What do we do???
2007-02-21 18:45:03 · 14 answers · asked by lil' ol' me :) 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
1) Names are made up, so surnames won't matter.
2) We are all adults, Annie is 50+ and Donna is 30+
2007-02-21 19:01:26 · update #1
The best thing to do is just to be open and loyal to your friend during this time. Let her know that you're there for her.
2007-02-21 18:49:50 · answer #1 · answered by dani 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fact that your friend (Donna) confided in (Annie) that she was cutting indicates that she wants some help. Otherwise she wouldn't have said anything. Cutters rarely cut for attention- it is a very private (and often shameful) secreative act. If she sought out someone to confide in- she is reaching out for help. I suggest that you and (Annie) go over there together and discuss it with her. Approach her by saying that (Annie) was very concerned and could not deal with such a serious thing alone, so she discussed it with you for support and advice. Let her know that there was no breach of confidence- only concerned friends trying to do the right thing. Let her know that you are both there for her. Try to find out how badly she is cutting and if this is something she has done before (most likely yes). Suggest that if she is under this amount of stress that she feels she needs to physically harm herself, you feel she may need to speak to a counselor or at least her family physician. Offer to go with her. Perhaps have a list of names before you go (so if she says she doesn't know anyone you have a list ready). cutting is a coping mechanism that can become very addicting. She's asking for help, but you guys are not equipped to give her the help she needs. However, you can be supportive and help guide her to the right resources. You are a good friend for being concerned. Good luck to you all.
2007-02-22 03:59:54 · answer #2 · answered by Jennifer S 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If Donna ends up in her grave she cannot confide in you from there, can she? Of course, she'll be furious if you tell her parents but it is the most loving thing you can do. Even if you would lose her friendship for awhile (until she gets her life together) that's still MUCH better than losing her forever. Her parents will appreciate and understand you breaking the confidentiality. One day Donna will, too. As I see it there is absolutely no other choice. You and Annie not only can't handle this by yourselves, you do not need this burden. Her parents can't even handle this one. She will need professional help. Please, do not let your peers find out. She has enough to deal with. You are wise to seek help for Donna.
2007-02-22 03:08:37 · answer #3 · answered by Im Listening 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi !!
My advise is for Annie to ask her friend Donna, to be check in the hospital, at once!!!
Your fiend should tell her mom, even though she thinks that is going to cost her friendship, is better to save her life than to have her cut her way to death!!
This is a very serious emotional/mental illness, that can be treated. the faster she gets help the better are her chances to recuperate and survive!!!
The proper thing to do is to let an adult, like her mother, or some one that you know is really going to help her. As cutting oneself is NOT A TREATMENT AT ALL !!! It is just the way to rebel and the way to cope, with what their mind tricks are playing to them!!!
Listen you friend is EXTREMELY SICK, and she needs your help!!! Some people, say things like that with the wishful thinking that someone will come and rescue them, from this ordeal.
Be brave , be a real friend, and save her live!!! She will thank you later, when she come out of that terrible illness!!!
GOD BLESS YOU & HAPPY LIFE
A.Z.
2007-02-22 02:57:34 · answer #4 · answered by Alliv Z 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your friend has cried out for help. Regardless of whether she said she wanted it kept a secret, she is obviously asking for assistance for something she no longer has any control over. Her health and safety are the greatest concern; you will feel far more guilty if she kills herself and you did nothing than if you betrayed her trust.
Sit down with Donna and explain your concern. Help her make an appointment to see a doctor or therapist. Go with her if she'd like. Tell her you're there for her, but feel ill-equipped to help her through her problem. She needs professional help.
2007-02-22 11:24:36 · answer #5 · answered by kimpenn09 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you need to ask this question then you are not a very good friend!!
In cutting herself, she is crying out for help! She might be mad at you for a little while but she will come around with the help she needs.
Lets weigh this up: On one hand you have a friend who will no longer trust or confide in you?
On the other hand you have no friend because she killed herself doing something stupid?
Now that's a tuff one - Be a fantastic friend andGet her the help she needs!!!
2007-02-22 02:53:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You both should go over Donna's and smack the ever lovin sh*t outta her. She needs a wakeup call before she goes too far. A friend doesn't always just "be there." A friend gives a kick in the pants when needed. Donna needs SERIOUS help and if you can't give it to her, get advice from a doctor.
2007-02-22 03:35:11 · answer #7 · answered by Misery 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Definately try to help that person. I feel really bad for this person and please do whatrever you can to stop her from doing that. If need be contact a mental helth proffessional that can treat her professionally. I was in jail for a very long time and had sliced my own throat many years ago. I'm so very greatful that I'm still alive and wish no bad apon anybody. I'll say a prayer for you both.
Lanny Marden
2007-02-24 14:49:01 · answer #8 · answered by lanny.marden@sbcglobal.net 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cutting one self means act of suicidal behavior or tendency. Anxiety and Depression are major factors. Stressors such as financial problems, break-up with boy friend or flunking in school are also a factor. Please call immediate help to a specialist (Psychiatrist). But first, since you are her friend, try to console and comfort her. Try to get the real reason why she is doing this. From then on, you will know what to do. Be calm.
2007-02-22 02:52:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
First I must say a true friend is one that is straight up with you even if it makes you mad. If you have her best interest and get her help she will eventually see that your love for her out-weighs your fear of making her mad. This is not to be taken lightly as a (trend). It is serious and can lead to suicide. Tell her you would rather have a mad friend than a dead one.
2007-02-22 03:01:21 · answer #10 · answered by seekingwidow 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋