how long to wait??

Question

how long should you wait before getting engaged??
i've been with my boyfriend for 6 months, we have NEVER spent a night apart. we live together and are in love. my question is, when is it ok to get engaged? i dont want people to look at our relationship and think that its fake, because its only 6 months old! my reasons for wanting to get engaged now (apart from loving him to death!) is because we want to get a mining job together and i think we would have more of a chance of getting it if we were engaged and they saw us as true partners not just 'boyfriend/girlfriend' also a home loan as a married/ defacto means $70k more even though our income stays the same. i know that we will get engaged eventually, we both want kids together (it sounds crazy this soon, but we can just tell that we have found the right one in each other) and we both want to get married in the future, but is it worth becoming engaged for those reasons? i woudnt do this if i didnt love him too...

We don't want to get married for a few years....so yes, it will be a looooong engagement. a few of you said to wait at least a year to make sure i know him inside and out, but the thing is we have literally not spent a night away from each other. you think about it, most people start dating and see each other once, twice or maybe three times a week, we however since the first day we got together have never been apart! LITERALLY! so in comparison to most other couples, we've actually had more time to get to know each other than most people get in a year or two!!!(i've known him since about march last year) so hes not a stranger to me! i know that i want to be with him for the long run, and i know that he wants to be with me, we dont want to get married just yet, but just engaged... friends of ours just got engaged, should we wait untill the excitment of their news has died down so we dont steal there moment?

we both just enjoy having each other around, even if im on the bed and hes on the computer, he always says he loves just knowing that im there even when we're not doing anything.
i know that this relationship will last, im not worried about that, my biggest thing is, is it ok to get engaged for those reasons?? ie, the job, the loan etc. on top of those reasons for it i do want it out of love, but the reason i want it soon rather than later is for those reasons...

Answer 1

My wife turned 65 years old this week. I will soon be 65 too. We met when we were 16 years old and in high school. Got married at 18 just 2 months after we graduated.

If you ARE right for each other, it doesn't really matter when, where, or how old.

If you AREN'T right for each other, it doesn't really matter when, where, or how old.

Just do it. Time will sort it all out. Better to have tried and failed than to never have tried at all.

If you don't try, you may never know at all...........

Answer 2

I don't think there is anything wrong with getting engaged after being together for six months. But if you are planning on waiting a year or two, why rush getting engaged now?

My fiance and I knew each other for about a year when we got engaged and we were a couple for five months when he proposed. I know what you mean about just knowing when it is right and when you want to be with someone for the rest of your life. We just know and we love to be together. We also don't care if we are out or just hanging out, we know we are with the right one. We have also been in enough relationships to know when it is right. We know what and who we want. We are ready. In fact we are getting married this May because we just don't even see why we need to put it off. If you two are ready, do it. Get engaged. It doesn't sound crazy to me.

I may wait a little bit after your friends if you really don't want to steal their thunder, but do what you feel is right. The only people that matter in this are the two of you.

Answer 3

i dont think that they are the right reasons to get engaged. i understand that you love him and that you want to marry him at some point in the future - but you should only get engaged and married when the time is right - not for convenience.

if it makes things easier, why dont you just tell these people that you are engaged? i would wait for the actual engagement - it will be much more special then knowing that you are doing it solely out of love as opposed to being able to get a home loan.

Answer 4

The relationship is soooo new & so many things can happen once the shine wears off & real life with all of it's responsibilites, ups down & boring routine steps in.
I knew my husband for 16 years. Life happened & we lost touch. Then, we met back up & dated for 1 year before we got engaged & waited another year before we got married. We have been married almost 14 years now & we have three boys. In every relationship, when the shine wears off there are little things that we ALL notice that might irritate the h*ll out of us.
As was said by others, it is easier to break off an engagement than to get out of a bad marriage. Get engaged, but don't jump into a marriage. Be sure to give the relationship time for the shine to wear off. Face a few challenges, trials & tribulations before getting married..
Good Luck!!! & Congratulations!!!

Answer 5

Marriage is so beautifull. But it can be intimidating, You have to make sure that after lust and passion fade, that love still remains. Not to say passion truly ever fades but to say that as the years go on your flame will stay strong. Make sure that even when your bored together your happier that you are together. Make sure you don't find yourself picking out the others faults, because those minor faults will grow into a wedge that will drive you apart. I'm glad to hear that you want to have kids, because when two people come together to have kids their bond grows only stronger.
Alright, all that aside, lets talk numbers. 6 months is great, because your definitely past the honeymoon stage. Since your bond is still strong, your already off to a good start. It'd be better if you guys had a year "under your belt" but if you feel that now is a good time then now is the right time.

Answer 6

That is a poor reason for getting engaged. You two do not know each other very well sometimes it takes at least a year to get to know someone really well inside and out. I would not rush into it.A very small percentage who have been together 6 months and under who get married last. You may think your know each other but you do not. you both have a lot to learn about each other. Go ahead and get engaged but make it a long engagement what is the rush. Take your time and get to know each other.

Answer 7

when you feel ready is the right time to get engaged. it doesnt sound crazy this soon at all, i know a couple of people that have met and got married within a year and the first couple are still happily married after 13 years and the others after 19 years.

it is more important how you and your partner feel about the situation than what other people think. follow your heart and your head and forget about what other people think because they are not part of your relationship.

Answer 8

Unless you have religious obligations you should live together first. My husband and I lived together before we even got engaged and it really helped us get things like paying bills and how we do it out of the way before being married. It helped us to have these htings down so we don't fight about them.
Also, think of an engagement as a natural progression in a relationship and not something that must be planned.

Answer 9

Well keep in mind an engagement is much easier to break off and end than a marriage.

I think you can get engaged at any time in your relationship, just don't commit to the actual marriage part until you are sure, and I mean SURE that you know him inside and out. Don't want any surprises after marriage.

Answer 10

Patience's my dear, good things comes in small packages. It sounds like you're rushing it, but believe me I know a lot of people who got engage then realizes that it wasn't meant to be. Wait until the right moment comes. If you really say what it is, then just wait. Don't rush him into these things. Sometimes guys says things that they don't mean. They say because you want to hear it. I believe when the time is right, he'll pop the question.