Why is suicide considered selfish when it will relieve the sufferring of everyone around me?

Question

I have emotionally unstable borderline personality disorder and I also suffer from severe depression. I turned to drugs to relieve my constant pain and sadness. Meth made all of the chemical imbalances in my brain much worse and after getting off of it I had a near psychotic break just because I was tired and I wasn't getting what I wanted. My boyfriend is sick of me. He avoids me, he leaves whenever he can. I ask for his attention and I am told to wait until he's done with his video game. I tell him I have an appointment and he forgets and works overtime to avoid coming home. We live with his parents and they HATE me. I can't even go to the kitchen to eat without hearing mumbles of "stupid" and other niceties so usually I sit in my room and cry because they all hate me and then I hear that's why they hate me, because I cry all the time. I just can't face one more day of this. I am sick of being this disease that no one wants to catch. I hate hurting. I want it to end.

Answer 1

How many times have you asked this question

Answer 2

please dont hurt yourself!! suicide is selfish because you are killing yourself there-fore you feel nothing but you have left behind all your family and friends without you and they love you it would tear them up... Your bf may not be working over-time to avoid you, maybe he has financial issues going on and needs the money, you say you live with his parents, maybe he is saving so you guys can move out into your own place? I know this is hard, but maybe talk to his parents, explain to them that you are sick of feeling and being the way you are but that a positive change isnt going to happen overnight that it i going to take time and you know you have made mistakes but you want to change and you need their support and are you seeing a councillor or anyone like that? i think you need to be on medication, if you have a chemical imbalance going on chances are they can help stabalise it with medication... You are not the disease, but you do have one that can be treated with time, support, and medication. I know you hate hurting, and I know you want it to be over, but you can make it through this and you will come out a better and stronger person for it... You also need to talk to your bf about how you feel, and it may be hard, but you will get the best results if it is approached calmy no yelling or pointing fingers, and the timing is everything, so make sure you pick the best time for it... good luck babe, i hope you get stuff sorted sweetie

Answer 3

to answer your exact question, you have some people - family, friends, etc - outside of that house that care about you that would be affected by it. even if you don't know they'd care, everybody has somebody that would be affected and hurt if they were gone, especially like that.

as for everything else...

if you just stopped doing meth recently, it's going to take some time for your head to calm down. it can take months, but over time your brain will get better. you'll still probably need meds and stuff, but it gets better. are you on any meds now? cause you know you should be. look for a clinic or something around you and get some help with that. having to be on meds can suck, but when you find what works for you, life can be better. i'm bipolar and it's taken me a long time to get to a point where i can be happy most of the time. but if you just stick it out, it happens.

other than that, i'd recommend trying to find another place to stay or something. sounds like the place you're at sucks. and the b/f doesn't sound much better.

the bottom line is you deserve better than what you've got. everybody does. there's good things about you. try to focus on the good stuff and get yourself some help. you can get through it. just hang in there, ok?

good luck, girl. take care.

chris

Answer 4

First, there is help out there. If you can, leave the state. Heck, I would suggest putting in at colleges and get grants, then move. You do not need to be where you are! You need to leave your boyfriend, and do something for yourself. Get a facial, fall in love with yourself. You need to appreciate who you are and recognize what you have to give. Living with people who do not care about you is going to make you more miserable, and it is not fair to you. The fact that you are able to realize there is a problem is enpough of a reason to get out. Call an anonymous crisis line, they can help. Contact the YWCA in your area, they will help. If there is a child in the situation, call Catholic Charities, thye will help. I'll be back with some sites soon.

I'm Back!!

Answer 5

I am so sorry you're feeling this way, but I commend you on reaching out and asking for help. This shows me that are very much on the right path.

You may feel there is no one who cares about you, but what you may not realize is that sometimes people care about you without showing it the way you'd like them to in the moment. It sounds to me like you have people that care about you but may not show it the way you'd like. That said, no one should have to suffer being called derogatory names. That is not something you should be living with.

The first thing I would do if I were you is sign up for therapy with a licensed psychologist or licensed marriage and family therapist. You seem very hurt and despondent and right now you should put yourself first. If you feel you cannot afford a therapist, there are resources out there for you. There are therapists who charge based on a sliding scale, but your main goal should be to get some help immediately. I would start by opening the phone book or perusing Yahoo!.com's Local section for local therapists and find out first if you can negotiate an affordable rate and then find out if they are experienced with situations like yours.

Having suicidal thoughts is a sign that you need help. Please seek out a qualified therapist, and I wish you the best.

Answer 6

1-Get out of that house.
2-Forget your boyfriend.
3-Get professional help.
You can't live with people like that,you are suffering at this moment,but in the future,it will be so different.Life is tough,I know,but everything has a solution,and suicide is not the answer.You must be strong and try not to cry (you cried enough) There are so many nice things out there,come on,it's time to be happy,go for it.Take Care!

Answer 7

Leave your boyfriend. Stop doing all drugs, including alcohol. Get to a treatment center if you can. Go to narcotics anonymous. I am a drug addict in recovery. Meth was my drug of choice, although I did anything I could. I was severely depressed and extremely suicidal. I went to a 6 month drug rehab. It was the best thing that ever happened to me. I haven't done any drugs or drank for over 2 years now. I am hardly ever depressed and never suicidal anymore. I love life now. I used to hate myself. I was diagnosed with dysthymic disorder and post traumatic stress disorder. I started doing drugs to numb my pain and get rid of all my horrible memories. All it did was destroy my life. Get away from drugs and anyone doing drugs or treating you badly. Life is worth living. It is possible to stop hurting. Hang in there.

Answer 8

I have suffered from severe depression/bi polar for almost 10 yrs. I have to say that after reading some of the responses, it made me very angry. Don't listen to some of these people who say that you are being selfish or that you should just snap out of it. Depression isn't easy to deal with and when others around you seem to not understand it can make you feel even more worthless. The thing that friends and family can do is to not be supportive. what I mean by supportive is by being there and talking to them about their problem instead of just ignoring it like it will go away. I do think that you should get out of that house though. These people obviously don't have a clue what your going through and you need positive people in your life. I know it is hard but do your best to surround yourself with people who won't call you names. You are not crazy or a bad person for thinking about dying. I know that so many people think that suicide is selfish and that the person is leaving behind so many people, but what they don't understand that is most people don't really want to die. they just want their pain to go away. I am going through a hard breakup. I know that my situation is completely different from yours, but I have trouble with dealing with loss. I go back and forth in my head what happened and what that person is thinking. It literally makes me want to end my life just because I don't know how to get myself to see the light. Please don't feel like your a bad person though for being depressed. And don't listen to any of these ignorant people.

Answer 9

Sweetie you're crying out for help. Turn to church or someone who can help you deal with this. I can't pretend to know what youre going through but suicide is not the answer. It's selfish because people really do love you, if your boyfriend and his family arent those people then you need to move on. You're important, people love you...dont hurt yourself

Answer 10

I'm sorry you are in so much pain..You are sick of hurting. Hun,we all are,but dont kill youer self.Thats no good i'm 19 Ive tryed to kill my self ..trust me people care.just give life a chance.Take it day by day be happy.What you are felling is no good.Get better prove to youer self and others that you can do it.Talk to someone you can trust,trust me Better Days are comeing for you....xo

Answer 11

Boo hoo. Get a job, get some cash, and get out of there. That can't be that hard to figure out. What you're doing now is surrounding yourself with encouragement. Encouragement to feel bad. You've got a nice setup there. Now cut the balony and make a game-plan for your escape. Get a job with benefits so you can get the counseling and meds you need. Because you need both and you need them FAST.

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