How to you get over your self consciousness and low self-esteem so U can start dating?

Question

How did U get over your low self-esteem or get it high enough so U could start dating. I’m finding that every time a guy looks at me and smiles I look away or down at whatever’s in my hands at the time. (this doesn't happen a lot, but when it does I react the same to it) I’m not crushing on them, but I’m pretty sure it has something to do with my low self-esteem. I, also, think this is a reaction to thought that most guys @ my college don’t want to be bothered by me. Most of the time when I’m in the cyber café I hear guys talking about, “Yo! She looks good! She looks like a model, man.” I wouldn’t fit that description. I’m big enough to be a plus sized model, but I don’t have the looks for it. I know there are guys who like big girls, but they are few and far between at my college.

Help plz.

Answer 1

for real, if you don't like what you see, take steps to change it, but only if doing so makes you happy.

hit the gym, eat right, smile, walk with ya head up and act like you got some pride about yourself. These habits will eventually turn into a lifestyle and you'll feel much better

Answer 2

It took me a long time to come to a point where I was comfortable in my own skin and anyone who didn't like it could sod off. Its difficult with all the crap television thats on today but just know that when someone is worth your time then they'll see past any imperfections you think you have. Alot of times we're way harder on ourselves than other people are. I'm sure you have some hugely unique qualities that make you incredible, so remember that!

Until then do your best to look your best, not many of us look like models but you can dress neatly and nicely, do your hair, put on a little makeup. You'll find that when you do your best to look your best then it helps you to feel a thousand times more confident.

Also maybe try a few books:

I like Mr. Right, Right Now, by E. Jean Caroll...I reccomended it to a very shy friend and she loved it and has a boyfriend now!

Answer 3

Don't worry about finding a date. Just make friends. If you take the pressure off of yourself then you can be more natural. Just relax and try to find people with the same interest as you. Eventually you will find someone who you would like to date and by then you will be comfortable talking to people.

Remember there is someone out there for everyone. I am a "big" girl but I have always had many boyfriends and now i'm getting married. I know that every man won't be attracted to me but several will be. Guys like confidence, you have to make them think that you possess something that they need to be a part of.

Answer 4

I used to have this problem, i was really shy and self concious, and while i still am not the most outspoken person, there is one tip that really did help me out.

What you want to do is just develop a fake confidence. When people say, talk about appearance, just joke around and say something like "Yeah, I know im a perfect 10, but you guys shouldn't be so obsessed with me." The trick is to sound really sure of yourself, and then say "Im just kidding" to turn it into a joke.

Eventually, if you can joke about yourself, you'll be able to talk to people and you'll be able to convince others that you really are a great person.

And sooner or later, that fake joking confidence will turn into a real confidence within yourself.

Answer 5

First.... stop looking in the outside for what is inside of you... Your self esteem won't magically go up because you become a model.. be a full size one or not.. It happens from the inside, and only you can make it happen.

Get involved in things you are good at... hobbies for example.. get involved in things that will bring out the best in you.. and by doing that you will be surrounded by people who have the same interests.. Once you are on your turf.. doing what you like doing and feeling great about it.. you will see that people will be attracted to you.. because you are letting - allowing your best to shine forth.

Set realistic goals for yourself... be a plus size model ? what for? to be a "model" - nah... Get confidence by getting to know what you want.. be in love, work or life in general.. be aware of what you need.. not what others want.

Answer 6

"perchance what ladies discover eye-catching isn’t what men discover" i actually like that line which you stated, rather cool. (: I now and back finally end up thinking like that a lot too.. i'm unlike.. nicely, an authority on those issues or something yet i think of that is slightly of the two one in each of selfconsciousness & low self-worth. something else too, yet I forgot the interest for it.. nicely, besides.. do no longer hardship! ^__^ you may discover the suitable guy sometime! basically artwork on being greater valuable with your self. :] cheer up !

Answer 7

first, stand in front of a mirror and look at yourself well. list your qualities, physical attributes, everything. then, list your virtues, etc. tell yourself you are worthy of a man's love. teach yourself to LOVE YOURSELF. accept yourself. never ever compare yourself to another person. accept that you are different, you are unique. you have qualities all your own. love it. it doesn't matter wether only few men wants you. the most important thing is the right man. wait for him.meanwhile, stop thinking negative thoughts.think beautiful.you are beautiful.

Answer 8

think of yourself as precious and that you will date when 'you' are ready to date...not worry if someone is 'gonna ask you' but if you are going to say 'yes' to a date. K? look at the guys in a different way....are 'they' good enough for you? peace

Answer 9

Whew! can you beat yourself up anymore? ...so a man thinks...start feeling and thinking the opposite of what you are doing...most young guys are shallow, and they may look uninteresting however, even some of those guys have self-confidence (charm) and they are cool...see, it's an inner thing..but whatever you do...stop dissing yourself...!

Answer 10

1st of all you have to come to the realization that there are many fish in the sea-----but you will never catch them till you get your hook in the water.-------one way to draw attention is to carry yourself like your #### doesn't stink.--and then whenever you get a chance talk to them------get to know them---share of yourself in that you are honest and open with your true feelings.------be a good listener and dont date anyone who you know would hurt you-----no players----you want friends who will help make you feel good about yourself and not drag you down.---GOOD LUCK