How do I get through to my 15 yr old son, the importance of doing well in school? What would motivate him?

Question

Thanks everyone...Lord L's answer is similiar to the way I have been handling it, but I was doubting my methods. I also liked Colleen o's input. Some people have been telling me I am not strict enough with him...I need to stop second guessing myself.
Thanks again all

Answer 1

There is no way for you to make him do better. He has to want it. It is normal for a 15 year old to start making his own judgements and decisions, and then acting on those decisions. He has to get experience at it somehow. Give him ownership of what he does with school. Do it right, or do it over. Explain to him that it doesn't hurt you one way or the other. Explain that you love him and you would warn him if he was about to walk blindly into a pit too. Just make sure that he is accountable as well as responsible. If he fails, doing it over again will show him that it can happen to him. It won't ruin his life if he fails a grade, if he has to learn the lesson when he is on his own... the fall is usually much harder. The focus should be on guidance, not control. There is more for him to learn than school work.

Answer 2

Have you asked him what he thought about the grades and the effort he puts into them? maybe he thinks he is doing ;the best he can, if so you need to accept that. We expose our children to many different people, we visit homes of our friends form all different finacial backgrounds...sometimes the conversation is about how nice a home our physician fiends have. (Knowing that we live on a military income) We put into prespective that in order for our friends to have that home they had to work hard at school, and then become Doctors. We show the difference of those who choose to do nothing and work at no paying jobs. We ask what kind of home do you think they own or can afford to oen? I also used monolpy money and gave my kids 2 months salery and all the bills that went along woth that. (Taxes included) They thought they had a lot of money left, until I pointed out that they were a family of 6 and the wife and kids needed spending money too. This has changed some of thier dreams, but not by much...instead of just doing a job, my kids want to be the one that also owns the job. We have these kinds of discussions every now and then, with no pressure and they see the importance of an education through these talks. Good Luck

Answer 3

I would show him the jobs that ppl get with no college. And then i would show him jobs that ppl can get after college. You can also show him where ppl who do not finish school or do poor end up after school. Ask him if he wants to work in a gas station or in a dead end factory job or in a grocery store. These jobs in the future will not pay enough in the future to make a decent living. It is really hard to get kids today to understand why it is important to try to do well in school. Instead of telling him which he probaly is not paying much heed to what you are saying. Try showing him. Visual is more real than hearing.

Answer 4

Everything is relative. Has he expressed an interest in a career? Have him look deeper into what it takes academically to do what he wants to do in life. Even if he wants to form his own rock band, he'll have to learn about business practices, networking, and the musical arts. And sometimes you've just got to bite the bullet and do what it takes to get through school. All kids need to learn that.

Answer 5

A Play Station 3.

Answer 6

My sister had this issue with her son. He loved sports but was not doing well academically, so they set a reasonable goal for his grades and told him he could go to sports camp in the summer if he kept his grades up. Conversely, bad grades would mean no sports camp. It worked, and he is in college now.

Answer 7

You need to limit his time on the T.V. and video games AND, most importantly, you need to get him interested in something he will have a passion for. You might need to test out some things. My niece has her son in hockey and he loves it. It costs her a lot of money and they travel to a lot to out of town games, but he has such a passion and love for it, he knows if he doesn't do well in school, he will not play. There are a lot of things like that offered to children. My granddaughter is in the Young Marines and they encourage the kids to do well in school. She is also involved in church groups. There are bowling leagues and all kinds of clubs. Don't forget though, this will mean that you get just as involved. For instance, if you sign him up for hockey, you get involved in the fund raisers and going to all the games. You have to be just as involved, but you will "grow" a better child.

Answer 8

Ask him what he wants to do after he graduates from high school. Most "careers" require a college degree.

Answer 9

Take an interest in his school work. Check his home work daily and help him with it. Show that his education is important to you also.

Answer 10

He KNOWS the importance, stop hounding and nagging him. His school work is HIS responsiblity, if he fails he fails, the world will NOT come to an end. If he misses starting college by a semester the world will NOT come to an end. My daughter failed highschool, went to summer school and got her GED then went on to college and has been carrying a 4.0 GPA since her first semester. Nagging a 15 year old is only going to make him go in the oppositie direction of where you want him to be.