How to make my mum shut up, she likes to nag nonstop!?

Question

She is a perfectionist.
She nags about my bed, about switching off fans and lights, about the floor, about things lying everywhere.
I love mess, she hates mess.

Answer 1

If she is feeding you, doing your laundry, buying you clothes, washing the dishes you dirty, vacuuming up your dirt I wouldnt complain if I were you. If you want her to shut up then get a job and get your own place and do all your own cleaning up after yourself. Then you can complain.

Answer 2

Please give some examples about what she nags you about, then I can answer better.
Iwish I could talk to your mum instead of you, cuz I do advise teens and parents about stuff like this. I'll write in a little while when I have time. Please watch for my answer.

Here goes:
Nagging can be a bad habit, and/or a control issue. Your mum says things over and over because in her mind it's not getting resolved to her standards. You are sick of hearing the same thing over and over-- you don't even want to hear her voice! ugh! This situation can be fixed (yay!) if each of you makes a change.

First you and Mum have to agree: Your room is your space. The rest of the house is her space. You keep her space clean and cut costs where you can (she pays the bills, not you, right?), and keep the door to your room closed at all times so she doesn't have to see it. Explanation & tips follow:
1. If you're respectful, doing ok in school, not coming home drunk, and not hanging out with losers, then I think your room should be your own space. Live in total chaos of you want with the exception of dirty dishes and old food in your room. Clutter and chaos is ok, but filth is not. You have to think how this makes your mum feel- she'll hate it so if she can accept this as your space it's a big deal. (Tip: Give her a hug! Look in her eyes when you talk to her. Tell her she's a good mum and you want to help her keep HER space to her standards. )
2. It doesn't hurt you to keep her space the way she wants. Reflect back to her what she says. She says "You're leaving the kitchen a mess again", you LOOK at her and say "It bothers you when I leave dishes around." (but then do something about it). She says " You're always leaving the lights on, be sure to turn the lights off…" You say "Yeah, it makes the bills go up. I'm working on it, ok?" (and then really do something about it).
3. You're sick of hearing her voice, voice, voice….. she's frustrated with saying, saying, saying (or it could be she's not even hearing herself anymore. This really works for people: she writes on sticky notes what you should do (hang up your coat, take out the trash, flush the toilet) and when it's done, you just cross it off and put it where she'll see it (ah, such sweet relief for her brain) , or throw the note away.-- whatever works for you two. That way she knows you got the message and you don't have to hear her. You can also leave yourself a note by the fan, for example (example: Turn off when done). Then THERE! You are reminding yourself and she has nothing to nag about, so hopefully you don't have to hear THAT issue either.

I know it seems weird to be making these changes but you'll have to tell her this is really bugging you, and would she go along with trying out these things.

Last of all, getting someone to stop nagging is like training a dog..It's not gonna happen overnight. It's gonna take some weeks. There will be setbacks. Be patient. Keep focused on your goal. Also, if in the end she lets you have your cluttered space, and you're now keeping her space up to her stands and she just finds new things to nag about all the time, take a deep breath and remind yourself that you've done your best with the original issues and you won't be living with Mum forever

Answer 3

Honey that's normal for a mother. I couldn't take it when I was in my mum's house. But now that I am married it's completely different. The bond towards mother and a child changes. When I look back I can only smile thinking how I felt (same like u now). Take it easy, try to go with her. I mean room being clean is better than messy. If u cant stand, just keep quiet. My mum used to get iratated when i dont answer and keep quiet when she used to yell at me. All the best to you.

Answer 4

What does she nag about? Not enough info. Even thou she nags, continue to have regular good conversations with her, it helps.

Answer 5

u cant make nagging mums shutup unless u do every little thing they say. mine sounds a lot like urs

Answer 6

your mum loves you and she wants you to grow up as a respectable responsible young person ... try everytime that she nags you say mum I LOVE YOU

Answer 7

Follow her rules or move out!Ungrateful brat! I got 2 of you type right here in my house making me live in filth & working me to death! I can't even have friends over!They are liable to step in cat crap in the middle of the floor!

Answer 8

You don't like mess,believe me.You just might be lazy or careless or maybe it's your way to sabotage her.When you grow up you'll appreciate that she taught you to be clean and tidy.You will know how to take care of your own place.Bless mothers!Or would you rather prefer one that is careless and dirty herself???

Answer 9

She's your mom, one day when you grow up, you will realize what a brat you were as a child. Respect her or move out, and see what you have then. She does it for you own good.

Answer 10

Welcome to your life. Every one of us has had our parents tell us something we don't want to hear. Just accept it at this point as her trying to get you ready for the rest of your life without her. When you get on your own, and pay your own bills including your own rent and car payment, you don't have to listen to anyone's complaints but your own.