My mom was trusting me very much, I don’t want to hurt her but the same time I m in luv. I don’t want to hurt him too wat to do… I m 24 wen they speak abt marriage. I use to tell them I don’t want to marry now at least for 2 years. So they keep on postponing.. now when my mom came to know she is feeling very bad n telling since I was trusting u I had agreed for ur wish like postponing ur marriage now ur telling that ur fallen in luv what to do. I m seriously in luv I cant hurt him by leaving him or I cant leave my parents too. What to do….! I feel like dieing. Please experienced people give me serious suggestions. Help !!!!!!!!
2007-02-21 17:53:15 · 18 answers · asked by Janu 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
hi ,if im not mistaken ur from india ,well im an indian too n have gone thru with the same probs like urs ....i fell in love at 20 im 30 now its 10 yrs that v have been together ,n my mom disagreed to our relationship completely but now she has agreed n vr getting married at the end of this year .....so what ill say is ur love 4 ur mom n 4 ur boyfriend r 2 different things n pls dont think of killing urseldf coz thats a cowardly act ,but b firm in ur decision only if u feel taht this guy whom u love willl b honest to u n take care of u 4 his entire life ....n make ur mom see all the good points in this guy ..mayb ur mom is upset with u coz she trusted u ,n u didnt even tell her abt ur affair with this guy ???so now is the time 4 u to speak up n explain things to her ....but ssss make sure taht u dont backanswer her n hurt ,afterall she is ur mom ...good luck on this n ill pray taht ur lovestory too leads to marriage ,just like mine .take care
2007-02-21 18:09:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well Janu Its good to hear that u love ur mom n hv due respect 4 ur family.Look at this age Love means Life but honestly i tell u choosing a partner only on the behalf of Love will be totally wrong as there r many other things to b considered while getting married.U r indian so u must have heard "Shadi do logo mein nahi do parivaaro mein hoti hai".Its totally True.At this age u must find ur boy friend ur life but ur family is ur life as well!! Isn't it?Have u thought 4 ur Father.Think about him n his prestige.Be bold n arrange a meeting so that ur family could see ur choice n let them decide 4 u.Plz its a request i have seen many cases Love marriages r not always successfull.Let ur mom see the guy n his family n if god has made u people 4 eachother then u will get everybody's consent n then get marry honourably n let ur parents dream also come true which they have seen 4 u since ur childhood.
2007-02-22 02:41:00 · answer #2 · answered by annie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How old are you? You seem to be very young ! If you are then you need to pay attention to your parents. They seem to have second insight into things because of life experience and years of judging people. You can talk to your mom and tell her you are sorry you kept him a secret. The fact that you kept him a secret all this time shows you KNEW she wouldn't approve. ASk them for a chance to get to know him and ask if you can invite him home a few times to talk and spend the evening playing games etc. Once they see him a few times they might change their minds. Honey...your parents do not want to hurt you. I am sure you parents are hurting as much as you are right now and know that in the end might be hurt more! I am concerned why you kept him a secret. Is he of another race or religion or culture that your parents won't accept? Does he have a police record? Some things can't be mended. If your parents think you are headed down a road that is filled with pain and problems...it is because they know that life is full of pitfalls without starting out in one. If your parents won't agree to see him then you should seriously think about trusting your parents more than a guy. YOU WILL Get over him....right now you are infatuated with him and I doubt it is love. IF IT WERE LOVE...you wouldn't have hidden it and you would have been shouting it from the rooftops. Hiding things are always a flag that you know it isn't right but you WANT it to be !
2016-05-23 22:18:21 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
So you don’t want to hurt your parents and you don’t want to hurt your boyfriend…that’s why you feel like dying huh! Do you think that if you die your parents and your boyfriend are not going to get hurt??? Janu honey, just think about what you are saying! Now just calm down, don’t panic and for God’s sake don’t scream for Help !!!!!!!! No one is dying; no one is getting hurt on the contrary after the dust settles everyone is going to be happily busy…there is a wedding to plan, remember! Seriously Janu, give your mom, papa and whomever in the family that may feel hurt a great big fat HUG. Explain to them that you have invested your entire future life in a beautiful four letter word called “LOVE” and you need their Blessings, to make “LOVE” grow into “HAPPINESS”
I assure you once your parents realize that you are happy everything will be just Wonderful. All the Best and…I’ll say a little pray for you.
2007-02-21 18:42:47 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You young fellows, you tell everything to parents but not love affair. Parents are the last one to know about the love affair of their children what a pity. Had you told about your love affair 2 years back, you would have been a mother of 2 children. The only thing hurt parents is the lie you told them. Be quiet for some time. Time will give a suitable reply. Either you will marry him or he will marry somebody and clear the way for you.
Dying is rubbish thing you can think of as you will be betraying both your lover and your parents together. If both of you are in real love, wait and get the nod of parents before getting married.
2007-02-22 21:39:08 · answer #5 · answered by RAGHAVAN N 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your mom wants you to postpone your wedding or cancel it, she is being very controlling. You may not see that because you are young and you love your Mom. But if she is using anger or hurt feelings, to get you to do what she wants you to do, or to make you feel bad about your choices, that's control. It is the nature process of life to grow up, get married, and leave your parents' home. If your Mom is interfering with this, she maybe feeling alone or fearful. You might be able to help her with this, but it's her problem, not yours. If she is making you choose between her and your boyfriend, pick your boyfriend. Basicly, call her bluff. She needs you more then you need her and that scares her. You have a great life ahead of you, make your own choices! Your true happiest really is the best thing for your Mom.
2007-02-21 18:23:22 · answer #6 · answered by Diver 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your mom dear and resolve it by diplomacy because u cannot live a happy life in the future making your mom unhappy. Dont forget that ur parents brought u in this world, so parents come first than other. Remember there is a paradise underneath the feet of your mother. So, if she ask you to leave ur bf, u have to leave. You will not understand now but when u become mother.
till then happy talking
cheers
Zakir
2007-02-22 05:52:22 · answer #7 · answered by Zakir 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
See any how u said that ur parents are aware of ur love affair, then try to convince them, or else it is easy to say but hard to implement, kindly make your parents happy by doing the marriage what they have arranged, if u have guts and courage then ask your lover to come to house and reveal the same from him, even then they are not convinced then do as your parents say. But i kindly suggest not to hurt youself, even after marriage friendship will always remain till death, all the other people are also doing the same, but do not take any hastle decision.
2007-02-21 18:49:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
congratulations! now you able to find your soon to be partner in life. but i guess, if you are not ready leaving your family yet stay put with what you guys been holding up to. dont be such a crying baby. everything will go on its way. wait for the right time, you surely know when was the right time i am telling you...being in love is a nice feeling makes you happy, overjoyed, all the happiness that we wanted to feel is in it. for you not to hurt your mom so much - just let her feel that you are inlove with the person and give her an assurance you wont leave her unless everything is well settled for you and your partner (financial , emotional stable). dont be afraid by letting go your mom she surely understand you cus she also experienced same situation as you are in right now. Good Luck! :)
2007-02-21 18:13:42 · answer #9 · answered by leoNpari 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
love is anatural process but when u love ur mom so much treat her as friend and tell her.ur mother has trusted u so much and u have hiden the truth she feels hurt.if u start hiding thses sensitive matters u cannot expect ur children to be perfect.keep talking to ur mother.never have a _ feeling be +every thing will be alright.all the best.
2007-02-22 13:50:28 · answer #10 · answered by revathy l 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋