When a child reaches puberty - what is the best way to help them ?

Question

I remember my sex education classes at school were laughable - and I learnt more about sex and relationships from the playground than I ever did in the classroom - I know I wasn't unique - so what would be the best way to help kids cope with the teenage years - when they're neither child or adult but a combination of both ?

For example when are we going to deal with the stigma surrounding masturbation and is it a good idea for a parent to take a child to a prostitute like I heard of one mother doing for her son on his 16th birthday - shouldn't we be dealing with all the denial by now in our stage of development of the human race in the 21st century ?

Answer 1

First of all I believe you should be honest about your answers to sexual education from the time the child is born. I was brought up that way and that is the way I have brought up my daughter. She is only 10 right now, but she hit puberty young so you can't always go by what is age appropriate when you try to teach your child. I think children have enough stress with whatever children go through, without having to add undo stress to their lives by withholding information. If you start the learning about sex ed from the beginning then it's not such a shock when their bodies start to change along with their feeling and emotions. So I say pay attention to your child. Don't wait till your child is going through it, prepare him/her for it from the cradle so they will have the facts when other children on the playground are throwing out their ideas on the subject.
As for how to cope when they are neither child nor adult, remember your child is an individual and you can't catagorize your child. You just have to cope with what they are going through the best way you know how. You should always keep an open communication with your child. The more you talk to them, the more likely they are to talk to you.
And NO! It is definitely not a responsible decision to take your 16 year old to a prostitute. Instead shouldn't that mother be teaching her son to respect women instead of showing her son how to use one?
As far as masterbation goes, I believe that you should teach your child about masterbation. You can't put a time period on when you should teach them. And it should not be a hands on experience, but their are books out there that are educational instead of X rated. I think masterbation is a natural human behavior and that teenagers need to learn about their own bodies anyway. I would much rather have my child masterbate than have her going out having sex. If a child knows how to please themselves instead of seeking others for pleasure, then maybe some of our teen pregnancy and STD problems of today would lessen.
I'm answering this as a mother, nurse, and former teen.

Answer 2

Not necessarily, its mostly because parents have lost their backbone to be parents and think of themselves as their child's best friend. They let them wear what the kid wants to no matter how revealing, they let them talk however they want to because to tell them NO might offend them or hurt their feelings. Then because of all this, the kids are experiencing sex a whole lot younger now, so the parent is worried and feels they have to have "The Talk" with the kid when they are like 10 and the kid learns all kinds of stuff and words that most of us didn't learn until we were at least 15. So the point I'm trying to make is that parents should be parents and maybe we wouldn't have 12 yr old girls running around dressed like she's 20 and speaking openly to whoever about her business. It sickens me to go to a mall and see the way girls are allowed to dress. Sure, my daughter may get mad at me when the time comes (she's 3 now) and I tell her to go change into something more appropriate, but oh well. When she is living under my roof and eating the food I pay for, she will abide by my rules or be punished for it. If there was more of this in America, a lot of the "problems" we have with teens today wouldn't be an issue.

Answer 3

If you are a parent of the same sex as your child going through puberty, i would reccomend telling them that you are always there if they want to talk about anything- their bodies, social lives, whatever, and that it will be a private conversation between the 2 of you. But make sure you do not FORCE them to talk with you about those things, they will do it if they need to.

If you are a parent of the opposite sex of the child in puberty, tell your spouse ( or the childs other parent) to do the above.

Good luck!! I know when i went through puberty, everything seems so complicated and uncomforable , but i wish you and your child the best of luck!

Answer 4

um I don't think taking your child to a prostitute would be in any way helpful. I'm going to be 15 next month and have past puberty. The best thing you can do is tell them the truth about stuff. Any questions they have about sex answer honestly. Don't make them feel strang it's not something that is actualy that hard to talk to them about it's only has hard as you make it.

Answer 5

People don't need instructions in how to masturbate. They'll figure it out. Teach them to use birth control, teach them respect for their partners, and teach them that dating is to learn what type of people they are, and what type they want to build relationships with.

Answer 6

Leave them alone, you Perv! Obviously you need more help than them.

Answer 7

YES.