Biblical scandal...?

Question

This is what happens if you try to look at Heavenly stuf from an Earth point of view.

Turmoil rocked Heaven this morning as allegations arose that God had had an affair with a former worshipper. The scandal was begun when a 21-year-old woman, known only as Mary, claimed that she had given birth to God's "only son" last week in a barn in the hamlet of Bethlehem. Sources close to Mary claim that she "had loved God for a long time", that she was constantly talking about her relationship with God, and that she was "thrilled to have had his child."

In a press conference this morning, God issued a vehement denial, saying that "No sexual relationship existed", and that "the facts of this story will come out in time, verily". Independent counsel Kenneth Beelzebub immediately filed a brief with the Justice department to expand his investigation to cover questions of whether any commandments may have been broken, and whether-

-God had illegally funneled laundered money to his illegitimate child through three foreign operatives know only as the "Wise Men". Beelzebub has issued subpoenas to several angels who are rumored to have acted as go-betweens in the affair.

Critics have pointed out that these allegations have little to do with the charges that Beelzebub was originally appointed to investigate, that God had created large-scale flooding in order to cover up evidence of a failed land deal.

In recent months, Beelzebub's investigation has already been expanded to cover questions surrounding the large number of locusts that plagued God's political opponents in the last election, as well as to claims that the destruction of the cities of Sodom and Gommorah was to divert attention away from a scandal involving whether the giveaway of a parcel of public land in Promised County to a Jewish special interest group was quid pro quo for political contributions.

If these allegations prove to be true, then this could be a huge blow to God's career, much of which has been spent crusading for stricter moral standards and harsher punishments for wrongdoers. Indeed, God recently outlined a "tough-on-crime" plan consisting of a series of 10 "Commandments", which has been introduced in Congress in a bill by Rep. Moses. Critics of the bill have pointed out that it lacks any provisions for the rehabilitation of criminals, and lawyers for the ACLU are planning to fight the "Name in Vain" Commandment as being an unconstitutional restriction on free speech.

What the Hell..? You can talk? I thought you were just a hate spreading bot o_O

Answer 1

Adia Arek, are you cracking jokes now because you just realised your life as a muslim is a living joke?

Oh, and by the way, you said 99.999% of muslims are not terrorists. Well, you're right. But 99.999% of terrorists are muslims. And that's right too.

The fact is, 99.999% of the terrorists are from islam, so islam must be the problem.

THAT'S LOGIC. But I suppose you won't understand logic cos otherwise you wouldn't be a muslim cos no facts or truth ever gets into muslims.

Don't believe? Check out the following websites and tell me what you think.



http://www.bibleprobe.com/muhammad.htm...
http://www.prophetofdoom.net



Yes, what the hell, you're speaking just like a citizen from hell.

Thanks to you, you just added onto the heap of shames for islam, although there's already a huge mountain full of it. You helped made a mockery of islam. I'm sure allah would be proud of you.

Answer 2

Very creative but it really Never is not a good idea to play around with God Stuff no matter what the intent.Its a matter of Respect!

Answer 3

Hahahahaha!

Oh dear, you just provided me with a much needed chuckle. Really great satire on both sides.

Answer 4

And that is just about what people are actually doing to God today.
Interesting perspective.

Answer 5

As I read this "question" I wonder why in the world I got that "thumb down" for my answer in the "ghost" question.

Interesting post.