While I am neither engaged nor thinking I will be soon, my sisters are. Both of them have asked me to be a bridesmaid at their weddings and this got me to thinking. I don't want either of them to be bridesmaids in my wedding as I already have my 4 bridesmaids selected. I chose my closest of friends, and while I love my sisters dearly I never really considered either of them to be a "friend."
How do I tell them (when I get engaged, that is) that I don't want them to be bridesmaids for me? Should I just suck it up and make them bridesmaids anyway?
2007-02-21 16:24:08 · 17 answers · asked by Viva 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I was in your boat. My sisters were alot older than me and always very close. By the time I was in 9th grade they were both moved out and I was pretty much an only child. I had two friends that became my sisters. When it was my time to get married I approached my oldest sister to tell her that I had chosen to have my friends rather than my sisters and she actually made it very easy on me, I said "I need to talk to you about my bridesmaids" and she gave me a look like "dont you dare ask me" and I said "would it be ok with you if I asked blank and blank to be my bridesmaids" She didnt want to do it so she said yes and I didnt even bother telling my other sister because we never spoke to each other at the time.
I wouldnt worry about it right now, if you come to the time when its time to get married and still would like to choose your friends, just talk to your sisters. They are you sisters and will love you no matter what and you might be surprised, they may be pregnant or living far away by that time and not want to do or they could just be like my sister and not want to do it at all.
Good luck and dont worry about it, you may totally change your mind by then!
2007-02-22 00:56:29 · answer #1 · answered by kateqd30 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, just remember that you have your friends now, but you will have your sisters forever.
It is good that you are thinking ahead of time about who you feel closest to, and who you would ask to be your bridesmaids. But when the time comes for you to actually ask them, see if you would still ask those same four girls. Chances are that over the years your relationships with all four of those girls might change, for better or for worse.
I think that the older you get, you will become better "friends" with your sisters. When people are young they try to break away from their family and create their own identity. Once someone is mature enough to consider marraige, they usually turn back to their family members for examples and support.
But if you truly feel closer to your girlfriends, you should choose them. Your sisters love you and will understand. Just make sure to include them in on things and maybe give them a special job in the wedding so that they don't feel completely rejected.
Hope this helps :)
2007-02-21 17:12:46 · answer #2 · answered by i am a girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, first of all you are not engaged yet, so I would worry about getting the ring first before finalizing your bridal party. Secondly, why can't you have your friends and your sisters. I have seen bridal parties of 6 and more (on both sides) If there is an uneven number, that's perfectly OK. One groomsmen can escort two bridesmaids down the aisle at once. He has two arms, doesn't he.
Have your sisters in your wedding. They are an important part of your life.
2007-02-21 16:38:34 · answer #3 · answered by Answer Girl 2007 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are a lot of ways around this. Perhaps the person that you are going to marry doesn't have any siblings so you both decided that you were going to do the friend thing. My mom had 13 brothers and sisters and instead of having all of them in the wedding she just chose 4, that had to be even harder!
2007-02-21 16:32:18 · answer #4 · answered by swagov 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you worrying about something that may never happen? Your 4 friends may not be friends at all by the time you get married. But even if they are, why would you cause a lifetime of family drama just to have one day with your friends.
I don't get not including sibiling in your wedding. You will have to explain to your kids and your nieces and nephews why thier aunt/mommy isn't in the pretty wedding pictures. I personally think it's a very selfish thing to do.
2007-02-21 18:29:23 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personaly we have in our family no matter what they are in our wedding. Who cares if they are not ur friends and they were never really considered friends. Aren't they your sisters? Isn't that enought to have them in your wedding. I could see if you were not having anyone in your wedding when that day comes. But come on seriously they are your sisters and no matter what they always will be. Friends sometimes come and go sisters dont. Good luck to you. Hope you find someone that will think as you think He might have all his brothers and sisters in his wedding. That would mean you would have all of them in your wedding as well.
2007-02-21 16:58:26 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's tough but, they should understand. I don't think I will have my sisters in my wedding (because, I have too many sisters and I cannot choose between them). Obviously, I have a different reason but, it is your wedding and you have a right choose your own bridal party. I wouldn't tell them you don't consider them your friends though. That's kind of messed up.
2007-02-21 16:37:32 · answer #7 · answered by Kat_RN 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well..if this is how you feel ..I hope you have declined to be their bridesmaids when they asked...I know I wouldn't have wanted a bridesmaid to stand up with me if they felt the way you do ....
just go a head and tell them now...make sure they have time to get someone to replace you in their weddings........ and do as you please.....
Its seems your sisters must hold you in high regard ..to have ask you to stand with them on their big day....I hope their feeling will not be hurt over this.........
2007-02-21 16:42:41 · answer #8 · answered by LeftField360 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should just tell them. You don't have to be mean about it, but just let them know that you already got your bridesmaids picked. They will understand and they will get over it..... they are your sisters!!!!!
It will be your time to shine anyway (when you get engaged)!!!!
2007-02-21 16:30:58 · answer #9 · answered by Calebs Mom 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
(im just guessing but it sound like ur the youngest)
i think u should suck it up. i mean they'r eur sisters; no one will ever be closer to u than them. they should be ur bridesmaid on ur secial day. they r ur blood and will be there 4 u through thick and thin. friends may not always be there when u need some1. i dont think ur friends will mnd if u dont choose them as ur bridesmaid but ur sisters will.
2007-02-21 16:29:19 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋