I'm in love with this guy. We dated over a year ago. 5 months ago he cheated on his very serious gf with me. I didn't know they were together. When I found out I called him out on it, his gf dumped him. They got back together after a few weeks, then broke up again a few weeks later.
They were apart for 2 months. Me & him hung out a few times. We slept together once, then him & his gf got back together again. They had been together a few weeks & I slept with him again (I didn't find out they were together until after)
He doesn't know that I know he cheated on her again. We haven't talked since (it's been a few weeks).
He tells her that he loves her & will spend the rest of his life with her. He says he wants to grow old with her & that she means the world to him.
My question...if he really loved her that much would he cheat on her TWICE & why with me both times (I'm not easy, I made him date me a year before we ever had sex) What would make him want to do this to her & why with me?
2007-02-21 15:49:49 · 19 answers · asked by Ash22 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
The whole TWICE thing doesn't make sense to me. Especially since he knows how messed up it was the first time, and how much he hurt both her and me and how much it caused problems for him. So what would make him want to go through that again...and why me, considering he knows his gf hates me
2007-02-21 15:51:25 · update #1
The whole TWICE thing doesn't make sense to me. Especially since he knows how messed up it was the first time, and how much he hurt both her and me and how much it caused problems for him. So what would make him want to go through that again...and why me, considering he knows his gf hates me.
He told me the first time he did it that it was because him and her were having problems and he needed someone to talk to and be with, and I was there.
But I know they weren't having problems this time. They had just gotten back together and 4 days before we had sex, he wrote her a note saying he will spend the rest of his life with her and prove it to her
2007-02-21 15:52:36 · update #2
Why is it important for you to know this?
Isn't it enough that that's how the story happened? He's a jerk, he's a sex addict, he's a confused man...it can be because of so many things...we could talk about his childhood if you wanted to...
The fact is, like he said, YOU were there for him. If you could have stopped him in his tracks when you first knew he was cheating on his g/f with you and ended the relationship...then, none of the rest of your story would have happened.
Sad to say, and sorry that it's blunt...but YOU let it happen.
2007-02-21 15:58:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm not male but it's usually just about sex. That doesn't mean the men don't truly love their wives if they cheat but it's not about how much you love someone or what you feel it matters how you show it. And if you made a commitment and decieved that person. It's no different than stealing from a parent. Yes you may still love them but you made the choice to cross the line and do something you know would either hurt or in some cases actually put them at risk (aka hookers). You have to think that if someone loved someone would there not be a better way to solve their sexual problem and how do you weight love versus selfishness and deception etc. In the end you have to wonder if they really did love the person as presumably love means not wanting to hurt them, at least, not hurting them on purpose. Everyone knows cheating is wrong and will hurt the cheated one.
2016-05-23 22:03:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Christian Answers from Khalil Ahlee:
Advice: Now do you see why it is best to marry before sex? Let me keep it real with you. I want you to use your brain. Men and women do not think alike men do not value sex like women do! He loves the girl that he continues to go back to...or at least he thinks he does. He's actually doing you a favor he's loudly saying, " look at how bad I treat the woman I claim I love, what makes you think I'll treat you any better?" Baby, this world is huge there are thousands of good men out there, but because of how men think, it's best if you allow that good man to seek after you! Meantime, let's work on you and allow you some time to blossom into the beautiful, intelligent woman you know you are. Answer: You're the long-term booty call.
2007-02-21 16:03:00 · answer #3 · answered by Khalil 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Drop him. It's plain to see that there is a desire for her because you are able to inform your audience that he has feelings for her. Not once have you said what he wants with you, which all I can see is BOOTY CALL!!!!!
Like other people are informing you, if he cheats on her, he will cheat on you.
Home-dude cheated on her twice with you, no telling who else he might have been with, because you kept showing him that you were and might still be available. He has the confidence that one of you girls are still gonna be around.
In my opinion, you knew that home-dud had some ways that you were unsure about when you both were dating. That might have been the reason you waited a year....
But to be honest, start over and leave him alone... Good Luck!!!
2007-02-21 16:13:11 · answer #4 · answered by Keyz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand that you are in love with a guy that has been dishonest and unfaithful. It sounds like you feel confused and hurt. You have many questions about his motivations.
It sounds like you want to know why he does what he does and what his actions say about the two of you in relation to him. His actions say nothing about either of you, they speak about him and his brokenness.
He has cheated on his girlfriend and deceived you about their relationship, and you are in love with him. You want to know why he cheated on her. He did so because he chose to, if he was with someone else he probably would have done it too. Why did he do it with you? Because eventually you were willing. It is quite possible that the two of you weren't the only ones he had sex with.
2007-02-21 17:31:12 · answer #5 · answered by teach_empathy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guys always want something they cant have
And if he and his gf get together after the break ups the chance are that they are gona stay together
He is just confused
My advice would be to stay away from him, if he can do this to his gf he can do this to you two if you two are going out
2007-02-21 15:55:24 · answer #6 · answered by SAgirl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well yes he could love her and still cheat on her, and it don't matter with who, it just happened to be you, he found you attractive, I'm glad to hear that you called him out on it the first time he cheated, I think you should call him out on it again, personally, I don't think he will be faithful to his girl friend whether it's with you or someone else, maybe she cheated on him at one point and its pay back and now, its over, you deserve to find someone that's going to treat you right, you need to move on, and find someone new that's a heck of a lot better than what he is, that's what you need.
2007-02-21 16:09:55 · answer #7 · answered by Terry Cat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is using you...he knows he can always fall back on you. I would get out of this situation. Who cares if you think he is a friend. Friends like this are bad news and you will get hurt every time.
2007-02-21 15:54:53 · answer #8 · answered by stupid_jupiter 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know this must hurt,especiallt if you have feelings for him.
If you did it knowongly,I would have a different answer for you,but if he and she are together now,you have to leave them alone or you will be the onlt one hurting...Twice does'nt mattere here.If he wrote her those things,leave him alone now.
2007-02-21 15:55:51 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh girlfriend, he is a total and complete loser! Ditch him! He will cheat again and again - no matter the woman. I feel sorry for the other gal - she is buying into his lies.
2007-02-21 15:53:48 · answer #10 · answered by Monkey Lips 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋