this is a dumb question?

Question

i want 3 kids but dont want them around me. just for the good times. i feel i just have to spread the love and reproduce sometime in my life.

im a man of only a few years past my teens

Answer 1

Time to grow up.

Answer 2

First of all, PLEASE don't have kids until you WANT them around you. If you're just in your early 20's, you have loads of time. Besides that, The world is already suffering from overpopulation. Please don't feel obligated to reproduce unless it's to share your love with the child, and hopefully, the child's mother. If you want to spend a limited amount of time around kids, perhaps you should look for a boys' and girls' club, volunteer as a Big Brother, or find some other organization that will allow you to feel what it's like to be responsible for a child without the lifelong obligation. If you don't have any children yet, you're actually fortunate, since that means you have time to figure out your real reasons. Also, if you haven't gone to college, you have that opportunity still. Many parents, even single parents, are able to get an education, but it's much easier to get your life on the right track when you only have yourself to be responsible for. Take advantage of that!

Answer 3

Why do you only want children around you in the good times, you shouldnt be talking about having children if thats the way you feel, kids need their parents around in good and bad times, you need to grow up some more before you reproduce so you can love your child the way they should be loved and be mature enough to know that a child is for life not just a play thing

Answer 4

So I take it you don't have pets either? I wish we all could look at having kids in that light, but you really can't be called a parent, much less a father if you aren't there for everything. Why don't you just be an uncle to someone else's kid, that sounds like the best thing for you, since we have enough kids in this world w/o actual dads? I'm not trying to reply in a mean way, but it really doesn't sound like you're ready in any way to contribute to someone's life in that way. Some of my friends are active in either their friends' kids life or their nephews and niece's lives to fulfill that patriarchal instinct.

Answer 5

Actually this is a wonderful question, there are many families who would love children simply to have them around since they themselves cannot and you could, you could "share" them. There are many organizations who will help you with this as well. You can come up with a plan for when and where you can see the children, etc with the "foster " type parents. Couples who cannot have children would be so greatful to have met you and would gladly work out an agreement with you, some may even let you live with them. I dope that you find the answer that you are looking for. And dont worry! It is nowheres near a dumb question, and you are not alone.

Answer 6

please don't have kids.......

you'll snap right out of this "spread the love" feeling after seeing a 7 pound baby burst out of the small whole "you" used to snugly fit into.

the first time you change a diaper, you'll want to stop eating or throw up or both because you'll have smell/sight flashbacks for hours......

sex will never be the same unless your having it with someone other than your baby's momma, cause she'll be paranoid of getting pregnant again, and you'll still be thinking of the look on your kids face when his head popped out of the birth canal.

when you hear that kid crying uncontrollably ALL NIGHT, it won't be cute anymore and a seven day supply of diapers and formula runs an easy $50 dollars.

you sound like you like the idea of being a dad, but you don't want the responsibility of being a dad and that wouldn't be fair to your potential "baby momma" or to your kids who will be able to tell if you truly love them or not, and will grow to resent you if you are not a good dad to them. kids are sensitive creatures and they need their mother and their father 100%.

think it thru before you reproduce (lol) or
contemplate before you procreate:-)

Answer 7

Dont worry the world wil go on with out you reporoducing!!!! If you dont want to take care of children then dont have them, you can make that choice!! The world is overpopulated as it is, its ok not to reproduce!! In fact Id say its very responsible of you not to, if you truely feel this way!

Answer 8

Well ur pretty young yet, i wouldnt worry about having kids anytime soon... grow up a little bit, because spreading ur seed isnt what live, love and relationships are about... BTW child support is a pain... words from the wise!!

Answer 9

You should not have kids if you do not want them around you. If you do want kids for the good times then marry a woman with children

Answer 10

Kids are like cars. You cant drive a car with out hitting bumps along the way. Even though they eat every thing insite and are poop factories and puke all the time, I wouldnt change one second of one day with my 2 kids for ANYTHING in the world. Once you do have kids your perspective might change if not I feel sorry for the kids. They say children are a reflection of there parents. So just rember what ever you did to your parents your kids will do 10 times worse........

HUSBAND OF PW
VERY PROUD FATHER OF 2 STEP FATHER 5

Answer 11

HOW SELFISH OF YOU!! SHAME ON YOU!! I think you have some major growing up to do!! There are enough children in this world who dont have any one who cares about them . A child is a gift from God, not just something to use and throw out like trash. You better sit down and think about the kind of life that poor child would have to go thru if you made that kind of choice.