My mom just died, and I want to know what some good techniques are to grieve?? please help!!!?

Question

my mom died of stomach cancer about 2 weeks ago, and my family is not listening to the things that i am telling them even though they insist that they are listening to me.

Answer 1

i can understand what loss is. as we grow older, there is only more loss we have to deal with. it's incredibly frustrating because at times we want nothing more than to be left alone. but being alone too long can mean a break in your mental health. you begin to distrust people who mean only the best for you. i'm sure that these other people were also affected by your mother passing away. it's not fair to them if you believe yourself as the soul mourner. take the time to consider others who shared their lives with your mother. and also make peace with your mother's life. she's gone. say goodbye and become stronger. make a promise to her that you'll make her proud. become a better person. in every instance of weakness, there must be someone who stands strong for everyone else. could this be you?

Answer 2

Everyone grieves in a different manner and in a different time line. Also everyone's understanding of a situation is not the same. You are obviously at the stage where you need to talk and maybe receive feedback. Maybe for some of your issues you could just try sitting on your bed or on the step or in a quiet place and talking to your mom if you are of the belief that she can still hear you. If you need some feedback maybe a counsellor at school; a good friend of your mom's, or someone else you trust would be a better choice. Your family still needs you and probably they are listening. It may just be that they don't know what to say and they don't know what they are feeling themselves. If you get really frustrated get some kind of exercise...do some gardening or some type of hard work. Just don't give up and don't let yourself feel hopeless. You'll figure it out. You were strong enough to come to us for help.

Answer 3

I'm sorry for your loss. Things will be very hard for you while you grieve and slowly come to terms with life without your mom. Although your mom is not with you in the flesh anymore, she will always be your mom, and just because you can't see her, doesn't mean you have to forget her. You are a part of her and be proud of that.

To help you grieve you need to remember your mom, and not try to forget her. There are lots of things you can do.....Get your favorite photo of her enlarged and put it where you can see it often. Buy a heart-shaped locket and put a picture of her inside. Visit her resting place - take flowers, cards, gifts, whatever you want. You could name a star after her. Treasure the things she gave you, and taught you. Talk to you mom, and talk to your family about your mom everyday. Perhaps raising some money for a cancer charity might make you feel good too.

Once again, i am sorry for your loss. Things will be hard - i hope you perhaps have a counselor to speak to - that would be good. Sometimes when things like this happen, it creates problems between the rest of the family members, just because everyone is so upset - that is normal. Take care and i wish you well.xxx

Answer 4

I added in a link to a good web site on the subject of grief.

One of the problems is, everyone grieves differently. When my father died a few years back, my sister and I were accepting (he'd been very ill), my oldest brother was angry, and my younger brother (the least emotionally connected) was devastated. My mother was a total wreck.

You need to find someone to talk to. Find a grief counselor, or see if there's a grief group through the local branch of the cancer society or the local hospital. You need to feel like someone is listening, or it's going to take you longer to get to the point where you feel like you're managing.

I took to writing. I wrote some really cool things about my relationship with my father. It helped me more than anything else.

Hang in there..it never goes away, but it gets to the point where you're okay again.

Answer 5

So Sorry to hear that you lost your Mom. Unfortunate, that is something that alot of people have to deal with, and its unbearable. We only have one, Mom.

I lost my Mom in "1986", many moons ago. It has been a tough road to travel. But it has got easier. I believe that I will see her again one day. While I'm still on this earth, I do things that remind me of her. She collected Elephants, So I now have over 500, Lol... I also have a Elephant fountain in my front yard.

When Birthdays, Holidays come around, or If I'm thinking of her I will light a candle and put it by her picture.

My Mom died in a fire, which was very sudden.

Hang in there, it will take time...But you will Smile again.
Much Love

Answer 6

Grief is natural - there's pain, and upset, and if you allow yourself to express it, you will heal. It helps to talk to someone who can hear you. Maybe your family can't do that right now because it's too painful to them. Hospice has free grief groups, so call them. If you are a member of a church, reach out to that community. Talk with friends who are good listeners. Write in a journal. Cry when the pain wells up inside. Cry it out, and you will probably feel better and remember good times with your mom. Imagine talking to her, and then listen for what she would say to you.
As a mother, I would want my child to feel free to grieve, to move through the pain, and remember the love.
My heart goes out to you.

Answer 7

my family did the same thing. I dont think it is a matter of not listening so much as they are so intent on their own overwhelming feelings they cant help but not hear your. it might be a good idea to seek some other councel for the time being, when things settle down maybe your family will really listen

Answer 8

There is a book I was given when I had a death in the family, it is called "How to survive the loss of a love", it is an awesome book and it will go through all the different stages of grief . I can not recommend it more, a wonderful tool to help the process along

Answer 9

Just allow yourself to feel your feelings. Don't dwell, but don't avoid and just let them come and observe.

The way tiny kids do is - they cry when they feel like it, and the eventually get done crying and move on to something else and they don't think of it again. You will go thru days and weeks of crying jags but don't try to analyze or talk to too many people. Find one or 2 that can really hear you without trying to fix something. And let your feelings come and go like waves in the ocean.

Hugs

Answer 10

Hi.........My mom died too but not of stomach cancer which is very hard. I admire your strength and most of all for coming on here to deal with it. I am sending you a prayer