Threesomes?

Question

My boyfriend has been wanting to have a threesome. He hints around about it. I have told him no, but he still hints about it. Do u think he might be getting tired of me in bed? or what the deal might be?

Thanks to all who reply!

I have been with this guy for 3 years.

Answer 1

No, he's not getting tired of you. It's just a sexual fantasy, and sex with others isn't better, it's just different. That's all.

Do you ever think about sex with other men? You know, even if it's just a fleeting thought when you see some hot guy. Although you probably would never go through with it, I'm sure you the thoughts still occur. And ask yourself this: would having sex with this hot guy, with your boyfriend's permission and blessings, diminish your love for your boyfriend? Or would it just be a hot, sexy experience that you were glad you did but you're happy to be home now in your boyfriends safe arms?

Many, many men have a FMF fantasy, but the to me, the true test of whether you should even consider fulfilling this fantasy for him should be: if the situation was reversed and you had a MFM fantasy, would he fulfill it for you?

If the answer is "no" he wouldn't, then what makes him think you should fulfill his fantasy. That's just plain selfish.

Basically, including others in your sex life is helping your partner fulfill their sexual fantasies WHILE you fulfill your own. So in short, it has to be BOTH of your fantasies being fulfilled. If it's just one, then resentment will occur in your relationship because of it.

I hope that helps in an objective way.

Answer 2

It is a major fantasy for many guys. If it is something you don't want to do, tell your boyfriend firmly once and for all (and certainly use those terms) that the answer is no. If he is not going to be satisfied until he gets a threesome and you are not ever going to do it, tell him so. I don't think he is tired of you in bed though. Some guys just have that fantasy, hear of people who have done it, and actually think more women are interested in doing it. Tell him to stop hinting at it, that it is just not your thing.

Answer 3

Normal male fantasy. I have done the same thing to every girl I have ever dated. I don't expect my current girlfriend to ever have a threesome but I still hint around. It's a fantasy I would love to have happen but it has nothing to do with how I feel about the girl I'm with. Would make a great surprise present for him (trying to help a man out).

Answer 4

No, I don't think he's getting tired of you. I think he is curious about how a threesome would be. If you're against it, hold your ground.

Seriously, though, how would it make you feel if every time you asked to do something he didn't want to do he immediately thought you must be getting tired of him? Sometimes, wanting a threesome is exactly that: wanting *three* together at the same time. It doesn't mean he wants someone else. Ever wonder why they didn't make a sequal to multiplicity where the woman duplicated herself? Every man's dream! Two of his *wife*!

Answer 5

Sadly, this is an extremely common fantasy with men, and it's not necessarily that he's getting tired of you in bed. The truth of the matter is that if you two love each other, you can't go through with it. It will ruin your relationship, maybe not right away, but eventually. You have to put your foot down and stay firm with your "no." If you seem timid when telling him you don't want to, he will sense that and think he can persuade you. If this is something he has to have, and he won't accept that it's not going to happen, then you need to break it off with him. If he cares about you, then he should respect your stand on this.

Answer 6

For me, I would be a little offended. I'd feel like my boyfriend doesn't love me as much and he would actually be in bed with another girl besides me. However, if we're not that serious, then I wouldn't really mind, because everyone has their own fantasies. So, if you like this guy a lot, and you don't feel comfortable, and maybe you've been together for awhile, then I'd be a tad tiny tiny bit unhappy, but if you guys haven't been together that long, then a little experimentation might be fun!

Answer 7

It is a common male fantasy to be with two women, just as many women also fantasize about being with two men.

If you are not comfortable with his fantasy, be honest and straight with him. I do believe that many times the fantasy can be much better than the reality of any situation.

Also, you might want to read Dan Savage's advice column, "Savage Love". You can find it online in many different newspapers. It will help you in finding out about many different types of fantasies and human sexuality of all stripes.

Peace & take care,
debm

Answer 8

Most guys fantasize about 3 in a bed. The ego trip of 2 girls and himself. You should consider asking him if he would enjoy watching you making love to another guy.
Love must not be confused with lack of respect, trading a partner's body as a commodity to be shared.

Answer 9

As harsh as it sounds honey, break up with that guy, if you don't do it, he will eventually break up with you, he isn't just tired of you in bed, but he is using you to only sleep with you, I have heard of so many stories like this.If he is satisfied with you, and if he cared about you, he wouldnt even think about something like a "threesome". Trust me I am a very open minded person, but seriously, to me, guys like that, all they are are pigs. You can do much better than jerks like that. Don't let him convince you into doing something like that. He only wants to get the pleasure, and it doesnt seem like he cares about your feelings at all...break up with him, and see another guy honey. It might be hard to break up with a person that you are ''attached'' too, but just go party yourself off, pamper yourself, and have fun.

Answer 10

It seems to be a normal male fantasy.

My take on a threesome is one person standing by the bed saying, "Hey, you guys, do me!"